Assessing Mental Impact
Today during a meeting I made a comment that we needed to assess the mental impact that a decision would make. This term made an impression on the group who said they had never thought about the mental impact a decision would have on others. We then proceeded to discuss the impacts.
I really wasn’t trying to come up with new terminology, but when I reflected on the great discussion I decided to look up mental impact. Guess what I found? Nothing. It seems I’m on to something. Again, it is not anything that is earth shattering; it is just doing the right thing. It is about considering how any decision made will affect those impacted by a decision.
Great leaders understand how to balance emotion with reason and make decisions that positively impact themselves, their employees, their customers and stakeholders, and their organizations. Making good decisions in difficult situations is no small feat because these decisions involve change. We must consider the mental impact these decisions have because change involves uncertainty, anxiety, stress, and sometimes unfavorable reactions of others. To get this right, I believe we must approach decisions as human beings and not humans doing.
Our core values come into play here. Never forget that our actions testify much more powerfully than words. Therefore, taking time to evaluate the mental impact of our decisions on people. Nearly every decision we make will affect different people in one way or another. We need to take time to understand and be fully aware of the influence our decisions will have, and understand what the mental impact will be on all individuals.
Constant connection with people enables us to recognize opportunities and threats, and figure out how to be adaptive to these threats or opportunities. Habitual outreach and taking stock of mental impact prevents insular thinking, opens doors to ideas and collaborative relationships, and expands our ability to problem- solve. By taking mental impact into account leaders can make better decisions.
Finding Happiness Right Where We Are
I’m starting this post with a driving question: Should we try to find happiness right where we are, rather than being obsessed with where we are going? This sounds really good, and makes for good print, but does anyone actually do it? Or, can it actually be done? I believe I come close, but still have much work to do.
This reflection came at the end of another episode of Boston Legal – Season 3 Episode 23. The balcony scene with Denny Crane and Alan Shore had an interaction at the end where Denny was worried about getting old and losing his edge (which he often does). Alan said, “Yes, but don’t you think the real joy in life lies in the promise of tomorrow? The young simply have more tomorrows stacked up. That’s all.” Replying, Denny said, “Happiness… is right now my friend. On this balcony, right now. You and me.” Even though there is the paradox of Denny living in the moment of happiness right now and being obsessed with continuing to be undefeated in the courtroom and losing his edge with age, I was reminded we need to live more in the happiness of right now. The other thing to note about the conversation between Denny and Alan is the part of young people having more tomorrows stacked up. While generally true, this is not necessarily always the case. We really don’t know how many tomorrows we have – none of us know that. Thus, a strong case for being happy right now!
Many times, if we are honest, we find ourselves chasing after something not because we actually want it, but because we somehow are made to believe we need it. This could be a thing, clothing, new job, promotion, et cetera. This belief comes from our constant comparing of ourselves to others. This is a natural trap to fall into. Easy to say, “Don’t do that!” Almost impossible to not do. We need to constantly be grateful for what we have and remember that someone else’s success is not our failure.
This is why I am so obsessed with the final scene at the end of every episode of Boston Legal. While it is clear that Denny and Alan are not perfect at this happiness in the moment thing, they do, however, end every day with a conversion on the balcony. That conversation always leads to the happiness they have in the moment with their friendship and things they are grateful for. Alan Shore’s final comment in that part of the conversation was, “I love how you reduce everything in life to… you and me.” Maybe it is as simple as reducing things down to the simplest things that bring us happiness.
What if we began to think of happiness as right here, right now? Let’s start being happy first and realizing our some days and best days are right now. Let’s stop looking for answers, what’s next, and getting there and start enjoying here. Our typical happiness model according to Neil Pasricha is actually backward. He argued in 7 Ways To Be Happy Right Now that we operate using the model that great work plus great success brings happiness. The problem, as we all know is, that as soon as we reach that success we are really not that happy because we are already on to what is next. Pasricha continued to posit that we should start the equation with being happy and then great work and big success will follow. I would add “Balcony time with a friend” to Pasricha’s seven ways to be happy.
Here are three other posts I did reflecting on Boston Legal balcony scenes: Is It Fun Being You?; Do You Have An Inexhaustible Ability To Just Live?; and, Are We Best Friends? Let’s make sure we are taking time line Denny and Alan to enjoy and be happy in our “now.” Let’s all put happy at the beginning!
Success In Aspirational Terms
This past week I heard a person say that “success should be measured in aspirational terms.” The more I thought about it, the more I like it. In education I believe we need to think more aspirational in the way we prepare students. In other words looking beyond just credits and a diploma to the outcomes of what a student should be able to do now and be capable of learning to do later.
Let’s use an example that gets used a lot – welding. It is short-sided to think that having a student be in the single pathway of learning to fuse two pieces of metal together is enough. Don’t get me wrong, good careers await the student, but that’s not aspirational enough. This is why I believe in achieving multiple pathways. A student with aspirations for welding should also be studying computer science. Computers have become an indispensable part of welding processes. Computer, and even artificial intelligence, are required for the execution of many welding operations today. We can only imagine this need for knowledge of computer science will increase. Industry is telling us that welders will need knowledge of lasers, computer program, robotics, artificial intelligence, materials engineering, and systems integration to advance.
With the increased demand for highly skilled and technically sound workers, our students will need to shape their careers around multiple areas of expertise. This aspirational approach will enable their lifelong learning and ability to be agile to a ever-increasingly fast changing world.
We need to be deliberately aligning our student’s aspirations and abilities. The scene in the movie “The Martian” where it doesn’t look like it will end well for astronaut Mark Watney he sends this message to be relayed to his parents:
“Tell them I love what I do and I’m really good at it. And that I’m dying for something big and beautiful and greater than me. Tell them I said I can live with that.” ~ Mark Watney, played by Matt Damon, in The Martian (2015)
Try and tell me that’s not aspirational. We all need to find what we love and what we are good at. It’s not either or, and we need to help students find that balance as well. Some would say that aspiration is magical thinking. I don’t believe it is a magic trick to strategize about the future, help students invent themselves and us reinvent ourselves, push upscale, and keep a growth mindset. Without deep thought and planning about measuring success in aspirational terms, it just becomes a vacuous platitude, or “thing,” as I like to say. But taken in the context of enabling the future, career/skill agility, and student outcomes, measuring success in aspirational terms becomes about being prepared for what we don’t know we need to be prepared for.
Leading With Compassionate Solutions
One of the driving forces of exceptional leadership is compassion. I am working through a situation right now that prompted the much appreciated text pictured above from a staff member and thought partner I am working on the situation with. Usually I pride myself on being very creative and innovative, but to be credited for finding a compassionate solution made me feel good and made me reflect on whether I was consistently a compassionate leader.
To be great, leaders must have the necessary empathy to inspire understanding and knowledge in team members. I teach about this in the leadership trainings I do. Empathy begins with taking an understanding from the experience and perception of another. Empathy, however, is just about understanding. Empathy is about opening doors and removing confusion. Compassion is the action step; compassion is about actually doing something.
The compassionate leader can then be creative in solving situations, problems, and opportunities. Looking for compassionate solutions allows the leader to look past “the easy way out” referenced in the text pictured above. This allows the team to look at challenges as opportunities to be dealt with as obstacles, not barriers. Barriers stop completely and obstacles can be removed, gone around, over, or under. I blogged about this in Obstacles Vs. Barriers. Actually, I said to the author of the above text, “Let’s make sure we look at any challenges as obstacles and not barriers. We are not allowing any barriers.” The compassionate leader seeks to understand people, families, and communities; knowing that understanding is the gateway to having the greatest influence as a leader.
Manatee Leadership Lessons
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Yesterday, I had the opportunity of a lifetime to learn leadership lessons from the West Indian Manatee. Our Central Florida/Tampa 3D Leadership Program participants decided that we would start our gathering at the Tampa Electric Company Manatee Viewing Center. The Big Bend Power Station in Apollo Beach delivers reliable electricity to the community. When the Tampa Bay water temperature reaches 68ºF or colder, the Manatees gather in large numbers in the power station’s discharge canal, where saltwater – taken from Tampa Bay to cool Unit 4 flows, clean and warm, back to the bay. The discharge canal is a state and federally designated Manatee sanctuary that provides critical protection from the cold for these unique, gentle animals. It has also been developed into an incredible education center dedicated to the Manatee, Sting Ray, birds, butterflies, and other wildlife and plant life indigenous to the area. I even got to smell the breath of a Manatee. For the farm kid from Indiana this was an incredible experience.
Prior to arriving for the experience I did a a little studying and learned how the Manatee handle thermoregulation by doing central-place grazing. In other words, they go out into the cold bay water to graze on plant life (they are herbivores) and then come back to the warm water near the power plant to get warmed up. I was also able to study the migratory maps of these amazing mammals.
The objective of participants was to come up with the leadership lessons learned from our Manatee experience. Here is what we came up:
- Must be caring
- Adaptive to change
- Lead by example
- Able to function alone
- Still move forward through the unknown
As you can see there are so many great leadership lessons to be learned from studying and observing these wonderful animals. I have done other blog posts with lessons from animals, such as Pelican Leadership Lessons, Living and Leading Like A Lobster, and Leading Like A Platypus. Using animals as metaphors for great leadership is a great way to learn and teach leadership. Do you have any examples? Share them by replying to my post.
Lessons Of Florida-Opoly
I was so honored to be presented with the newest wave of personalized Monopoly game, Florida-Opoly, last night by the Central Florida/Orlando cohort of 3D Leadership. For the guy that teaches leadership through the metaphors of toys, this was very appropriate and appreciated. When presented the game it was said they picked it as a gift of appreciation because I love to have fun, see the value of playing games, and have strived to learn all I can about Florida while spending time in the area. All true!
By personalizing the Monopoly game to local places, the creator, Late For The Sky, believes it brings more fun to the game through local authenticity. As a believer in local and state autonomy, this custom-opoly board game really struck a cord with me as I opened the box and began to explore all the parts, rules, and possibilities.
Here’s a brief rundown on what I found:
- Palm Trees
- Sunglasses
- Sea Turtles
- Sailboats
- Flip Flops
- Surfboards
- Key Lime Pie
- Alligators
- Orange Juice
- Disney World
- Snowbirds
- Manatees
- Dolphins
- Flamingos
- Hurricanes
- Sunscreen
- Atlantic Ocean
- Gulf of Mexico
- Conch Chowder
- Cuban Sandwiches
Now that’s a game. Players can buy their favorite Florida properties, like beach houses and resorts. But you have to watch out for hurricane warnings, alligators, and run ins with stingrays. Basically, it is a fun way to experience The Sunshine State. Also, it was a reminder of how different Florida is from my home state of Indiana. Now, I could make you a list of 20 cool things in Indiana, but the lesson here is the reminder of the different contexts in which we live.
This game is an important reminder of the complexity of the theory of autonomy. In 1982, President Ronald Reagan proposed returning significant responsibilities to the state and local governments. My other hero, Patrick Henry would have cheered. The challenge with this rhetoric, for as much as I believe in it and believe it should always be contemplated, is that it is not as simple as it sounds. The question that remains still today is what powers should be local and yet not compromise national concerns. I so wish I would have been around for the Federalism and Anti-Federalism discussions with the founders. It’s obvious I would have been an Anti-Federalist, but clearly a balance is where we landed (and needed to land). And, it continues to be a balancing act to this day.
As James Bryce posited in The American Commonwealth, “The wisest statesman is he who holds the balance between liberty and order” (Bryce, 1888, p. 749). Bryce spoke a lot about the balance of state’s rights and federalism in his critique of our democratic system of government. Bryce also warned of “Ill-considered legislation, facility and excess of law-making, and inconstancy and mutability in the laws, form the greatest blemish in the character and genius of our governments” (Bryce, 1888, p. 750). From a state’s rights standpoint, Bryce was concerned with states conducting rash experiments.
Alexis de Tocqueville did a much more sophisticated analysis of the underpinnings of a successful democracy. In Democracy In America (appearing in two volumes in 1835 and 1845), posited that there were two important tracks to our system, one of which were the broad freedoms assured by our national constitution. The other was a complimentary track of secondary liberties at the state and local levels. Tocqueville saw this as being product of human wisdom and choice, not historical necessity. Tocqueville saw the genius in a balance of both national and state/local control. Here we are at the end of 2019 still grappling the question of what the ideal balance is. Maybe that means our system works.
Only I could take the fun game of Florida-Opoly and turn in into such a deep political analysis. But, having spent Monday and Tuesday of this week up in Gary, Indiana to sort out best solutions for a school situation that I, as an Indiana State Board of Education member, have responsibility for, I can tell you the local, state, and federal contexts are at play. Full local autonomy failed our children, but some might argue that state and federal laws and requirements might have played a factor. Again, I believe it is a balancing act.
What I am for sure reminded of by Florida-Opoly is that we need to be aware of our local strengths, weaknesses, and needs. We then need to work within the autonomy we have to make our states and local communities great!
It’s All Superlatives
Have you noticed that we talk a lot in superlatives? Almost to the point that the superlatives don’t mean much. Or, we even use them incorrectly by saying something to one individual in a group we are in like, “You’re the best!” We have just told everyone else they are not the best. Using superlatives has become an important part of negotiating and making a case, but have we done this at the expense of good?
Are we beginning to see “good” as anything very good at all? Sometimes it seems that “premium” has become our new “basic.” It’s our starting point, so “good” becomes “less-than.” It is amazing what adding “est” to the end of a word can do. On the user side of superlatives, we can take advantage of the stronger meaning. But, as a leader we have to watch getting hoodwinked. In other words, have we, in many cases, made an objective comparison impossible?
As I understand it, there are web advertising platforms that won’t allow the use of superlatives unless there has been a third party evaluator confirm that something is the “world’s best” or “extremest.” These providers don’t want advertisers making claims that are demonstrably false. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary tells us that superlative means “surpassing all others – supreme.” Leaders need to care about and practice the quality, specificity, and power of our language.
If we use superlatives too much, we wash out the meaning. If we make every commonplace event out to be extraordinary, we actually make everything sound the same. So, we need to be careful that “awesome” continues to mean awe inspiring and “best” keeps its superlative meaning and doesn’t just become “good.”
Is It Fun Being You?
I didn’t really set out to do a blog series on thoughts following Boston Legal episodes, but it seems I am doing that because this will be my third such post. I’m telling you, those end of episode scenes of Denny Crane and Alan Shore sitting on the balcony discussing their lives, politics, cases, and their day are riveting and very thought provoking. My other two posts are: Are We Best Friends?; and Do You Have An Inexhaustible Ability To Just Live? The scene I am blogging about here was at the end of Episode 7 in Season 2.
Denny Crane says, “It’s fun being me. Is it fun being you?” Alan replies, “Most of the time actually.” To this, Denny reacts, “Then what else is there?” With a nod, Alan says, “Indeed.” I had never really contemplated the question of whether it was fun to be me before. My answer is, yes!And, indeed, there really isn’t anything else.
“Be who you are and say what you feel BECAUSE those who mind don’t matter and those who matter DON’T MIND!” ~ Dr. Seuss
It really comes down to being who you are. I came across the cool sweatshirt pictured below with the saying Such Fun Being Me on it. The Miranda Shop is selling the sweatshirts and I love their description of the sweatshirt: “This is one of my most loved of the new products. It gives me no greater pleasure than to think that people are able to become more and more happy and free in their own skin, loving and accepting themselves to freely be who they are.” That pretty much says it all, don’t you think?
I guess it is all about having purpose and passion in how we are living our life. And, I think those of us who can honestly answer that it is fun being us, would say we still approach life much like a child. So, what does that mean?
To truly be happy, I believe we must get in touch with our inner child. Children are always happy in the moment. They are their true natures; they’ve not been taught they have to fit in (socialized) yet. Watch a child and you will see how free they are and how little they care what other people think of them. Children are pure love and light. Unfortunately, we play roles to fit into our society and then we end up suppressing our true nature out of fear of what others think. Remember, when you find yourself feeling judged, this is the socialized you, not the real you. Maybe that’s why it’s fun to be me; I can still run a toy tractor across the floor making the best tractor sounds ever!
Become freer; play, have fun, and enjoy the moment. It’s fun being me. Is it fun being you?
Do You Have An Inexhaustible Ability To Just Live?
Yesterday I blogged about a scene from an episode of Boston Legal that really caused me to think and reflect. You can read about it in Are We Best Friends. Please allow me to post about another balcony interaction of Denny Crane and Alan Shore at the end of another episode.
After asking Alan Shore what he had had for lunch, and telling him he had a steak sandwich with onion rings, Denny Crane said, “Alan, you know, one thing you sometimes forget is, no matter how hard your day, no matter how hard your choices, how complex your ethical decisions, you always get to choose what you have for lunch.” Alan Shore replied, “Daily, I’m amazed at your inexhaustible ability to just live.” Replying, Denny Crane said, “It’s either that or die.” This hit me like a ton of bricks. I believe I have an inexhaustible ability to just live, but just exactly what is that and can we, as leaders, help develop this in others?
Of course this prompted a study for me. What I found was, nothing. So, how do we develop or continue to have an inexhaustible ability to just live? I was actually reminded of a bible verse (John 10:10) where Jesus tells us we are supposed to have an abundant life. Realizing there is a difference here when using the word abundant, I began to think about what really allows us just to live. It turns out that picking what we want for lunch is a perfect example.
It is about what Lolly Daskal taught in the great book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You And Your Greatness. Daskal posited that focusing on using can, want, and will instead of could, should, and must empowers us to live in terms of our own goals and motivations – just like picking what we want for lunch. Think about it: when asked about lunch, we say, “I want…”
Typically, when we choose what we want for lunch it is very authentic. We, or at least I can speak for myself, have no problem having the courage to proclaim what we want for lunch. Why not live and lead on our own terms in other areas of our life as well? Daskal also taught us to have a kinder dialogue with ourselves and focus on leading from within. Could it be as easy as working toward can, want, and will? I think so!
Finally, I believe an inexhaustible ability to just live means to go after what you want without worrying about what others will think. It means continually reaching out for newer, richer, deeper, life changing experiences. So let’s go push the boundaries of ourselves mentally, spiritually, and intellectually for personal growth and the betterment of the world at large. Also, step back and just enjoy the ride that is the journey of our life.
Do you have an inexhaustible ability to just live?
JROTC – Leadership Training For Stars
This morning I had the opportunity to be at the Review Stand with Major General (retired), Bill Wells, at Thomas Carr Howe Community High School in Indianapolis, Indiana. We were observing the cadets of the T.C. Howe Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (JROTC) program do a Pass and Review. It was very inspirational to be a part of this alongside a Two Star General. General Wells did a great job speaking to the students. He told them that JROTC teaches students to be leaders, whether they go into the military or not. Regardless, General Wells, urged the students to use the opportunity to become self-disciplined, respectful, and responsible. These skills lead to success not only in high school but in college and adult life too.
Having now worked in two schools with JROTC Programs, I am a huge fan. In fact, I always introduce JROTC as the flagship program of the school. Every high school would be serving their students well to have a JROTC program. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that every student should be in JROTC, but the world would be a better place if every student at least had the opportunity if she/he so desired to take part. Additionally, research nationally shows that JROTC students tend to have better attendance, higher graduation rates, and higher grade point averages than their contemporaries. Having worked with students involved with JROTC in two urban school settings, I can attest this is true.
For those JROTC students that join the military, they can enter at a higher rank. That can mean higher pay. Also, if the student goes to college they can enter at a higher rank as well. The program also stresses integrity and personal accountability – traits that students will need to compete in a diverse and global workforce. JROTC also enables students to become good citizens. I believe JROTC teaches civics by actually “doing”. Just as our country is “government of the people, by the people, for the people,” JROTC is run by the students for the students – of course with the leadership of great instructors like Senior Army Instructor Lieutenant Colonel (retired) Clayton Edens, and Master Sergeant (retired) John Boone, who also model all these desired traits for our students.
The list goes on and on of the skills that are developed and honed of JROTC members. Here are a few others that come to mind:
- Learning how to think logically and critically
- Effective communication – both written and oral communication
- Learn the value of teamwork and how to be an effective team member
- Working cooperatively with others
- Community involvement and volunteerism
- Study skills, goal setting, and focus
These skills help people thrive not only in the military but in many of today’s in-demand jobs. Employers look for these skills in employees. JROTC makes school work be like real life. It might seem as if I am biased toward this program; you would be right. I have seen first hand the great things that can happen for students involved in this program. So glad I had the good fortune to take part in such an inspiring JROTC activity today and have this opportunity to reflect on the incredible value that JROTC brings to students.
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