Finesse Is A Good Word
“Finesse. It was a good word.” Peter said this to himself in Red Dress In Black and White by Elliot Ackerman. Finesse is one of those contradictory things that we either see as good or bad. When thought of as manipulating someone, that is a bad thing. But, when thought of as using skill and cleverness to do something with intricate detail, it is a good thing. Also, diplomacy and tact need the skills of finesse. We have learned much about leading through a crisis during the pandemic. Leadership success, we have found, is defined by how our response impacts the greater community, work environment, and all individuals we serve. Finesse, to me, is how we navigate through the tricky situations. In other words, how do we rise to the occasion. Last night I was watching an old episode of Tour of Duty and Sargent Anderson told Lieutenant Goldman, “Rank is something you wear, respect is something you earn.” In other words producing results matters.
Finesse requires being prepared. We must do our research, anticipate adversity and obstacles, and then prepare possible solutions. Being able to finesse requires personal attention to the homework and requires preparation. Finesse is not about how much you know, but about proficiency.
Leading With Extreme Axe Throwing Finesse
There are so many formulas that have been written about as best pathways toward great leadership. I have tried to write a few of those myself. Yesterday, our professional development team went on a team building excursion to Extreme Axe Throwing in Hollywood, Florida. Needless to say, it was a great time, but there were moments when I was struggling just to get the axe to stick. I kept getting told, “Finesse, Byron, finesse!” I had to think about what the heck “finesse” even was. So, off to Merriam Webster dictionary:
- refinement or delicacy of workmanship, structure, or texture
- skillful handling of a situation: adroit maneuvering
- the withholding of one’s highest card or trump in hope that a lower card will take the trick because the only opposing higher card is in the hand of an opponent who has already played
As I familiarized myself with what “finesse” really meant, I began to think about how this related to my current situation at the time of throwing an axe at a target. I believe last night’s situation relates to #2. I needed to be skillful and use the techniques our axe throwing coach instructed us with. Then, as I began throwing I needed to get clever and maneuver to make it all work for me. Sometimes I threw too hard, others I was releasing early, others I kept getting told I was flicking my wrists. We can certainly relate this to leadership, don’t you think?
Check out my axe throwing prowess in this video:
Leadership, then, is an art of finesse. It’s being able to adjust and communicate in different ways, specific to each person. I don’t mean being “everything to everyone.” I just mean having enough self-awareness to know what is going to yield the best response from each person–and then having the patience to execute with that behavior in mind. What makes this mentality so difficult is that, in every capacity, it asks that you, as a leader, put yourself in a serving others mode. We must finesse away ego. We can’t just rage out of impatience, or get upset because other people aren’t working the way we want them to work. We can’t show your frustration–even if everyone else is. We can’t sit back and complain when times get tough. We must be the positive force that leads change. This art of finesse is learned through diligent self-inquiry, and constantly practicing the art of finesse and being flexible in the way you communicate and lead others.
Leadership finesse requires that we, as leaders, constantly identify barriers and causes of struggles. Then, with relentless determination, make the best of the current reality we are in. Using my axe throwing metaphor, one barrier we have is fear of failure. Fear of failure holds us back from our dreams more than anything. The thing I was reminded from axe throwing is that we are going to fail over and over and over. During one round of throwing (10 throws) last night I did not get the axe to stick in the wood once. That’s right; my score was 0 at the end of the round. To handle this with finesse, I was reminded that if you’re, you’ll be rejected too. The key is to fail forward, where the pain of the failure is reduced by the benefit of the lessons it brings.
Byron's Babbles 
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