Byron's Babbles

During the 1850’s, which is the setting for Book 4 of Threads West An American Saga: Moccasin Track by Reid Lance Rosenthal, thousands of immigrant Americans traveled westward. These pioneers had a choice of trails, but none was easy. In many cases the trail had begun a world away in another country. When losing one possible trail to an avalanche, Reuben told Johannes, “There may be no choice in trails but trails always offer choices.” After they parted Johannes said to himself, “Trails always offer choices. What did he mean by that?” I am about half way through Book 4 and I believe Rosenthal will probably bring us full circle back to this comment. Taking a stab at it though, I believe it is a metaphor for all the paths/trails taken for all of those whose threads have now connected through the journey west. Reuben and Rebecca who first met on the ship coming to America from two very different countries and backgrounds, are now married and expecting a baby – choices made. Rosenthal told us, “You will recognize the characters who live in these pages. They are the ancestors of your friends, your neighbors, your co-workers, and your family. They are you. They are us. This is not only their story. It is our story.” This is so true. While we didn’t have a say in the trails of our ancestors, those trails we were put on now offer us choices. Those choices will in turn affect our ancestors and the course of world history.

Our choices lead to consequences. The choices I witnessed in this novel are mostly made for pragmatic reasons of survival, but sometimes are unmotivated by pragmatism, or cultural acceptability. Sometimes the choices are made for emotional reasons, or strictly for pleasure. But always, the choices have consequences. We also know that the choices of previous generations influence our current decisions. Think about it; stories are told to help us be successful and keep us from making the same mistakes as those who have gone before us. While I get that the book inspiring this post is historical fiction, it is nevertheless historically accurate. I love the title Threads West, because it gives a visual metaphor of how the choice of trails and the choices made while on those trails weave us together.

“I know things.” Detective Lt. Andy Flynn (Tony Denison) said this to Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) in The Closer. He made this comment in relation to a discussion about Johnson’s dealing with her father’s cancer. Flynn had gone through the same cancer with a family member. Don’t you love it when people know things. Better yet, we all know things. I try to learn new things every day. Those things then become knowledge I can share with others. In the case above that knowledge allowed Flynn to practice a type of empathy known as empathic concern. Empathic concern is the ability to sense what another person needs from you. When my father had cancer, my principal at the time had gone through the same cancer with his wife. He would brace me for how my dad would be reacting to different drugs and treatments. I needed this and was so grateful that Mr. Watson knew things. More importantly I was blessed that we had the relationship that allowed the sharing. Mr. Watson was critical in my making it through that six month ordeal and the passing of my father.

Each of us “know things” and have unique lives. Sharing what we know can make our lives worthwhile. Think of that feeling you get when someone gives you a needed piece of information. You too, give that feeling to others. Think about it; if you share with someone else, they could be transformed. We all have a way of being at the right place at the right time. We might just be creating their moment – opening a door of opportunity. Sometimes these moments have a way of transforming the person sharing the knowledge as well. Always remember, the more of what you know you give away, the more things you’ll be ready to learn.

I love meeting inspiring young leaders who share inspiring lessons with me. Last night I met Novella at The Cotton Exchange Tavern in Savannah, Georgia. Novella was our server and I was first intrigued by her name. I never had a student named Novella during my time as a teacher or administrator. In doing a little research I found that in the past six decades (1959 to 2018), the name “Novella” was only recorded 1,170 times in the Social Security Administration database. The name Novella is of Latin origin meaning meaning new or young. Also, persons with this name typically have a stronger sense of analyzing life. I would agree because Novella told us she had only been at The Cotton Gin for a week. Her boyfriend is a traveling nurse and works in 13 week shifts. They decided to take advantage of his career right now while they have no children or responsibilities and experience as many new places as possible. Brilliant! Now that is analyzing life perfectly.

Now, for the leadership lesson. I asked Novella if The Cotton Gin was a great place to work. She said, “Yes.” Novella explained she had worked in a corporate chain restaurant before, and really enjoyed now getting to work in a restaurant individually owned. “Before, there was no personalization; bosses just yelled and barked orders to get things done,” she said. Then Novella said, “Here, the leaders make sure you understand why and how to do everything.” Did you catch that distinction between “boss” and “leader”? For example, she told us that as part of her onboarding she tastes the different menu items and that she is given items to take home for meals so she knows all the products first hand. She told us, “I love this restaurant and need to understand and be able to describe what I serve.” Novella had recommended the Cajun Tortellini to me and had described it perfectly.

Clearly the leadership at The Cotton Gin Tavern motivated Novella to go places that she would nor otherwise go. In any business climate, good leadership is perhaps the most important competitive advantage a company can have. We need leaders who will be around when we need them, and who would give us substantive advice, not platitudes. Thanks Novella for reminding us the distinction between “boss” and “leader”.

Last night on FBI International we were introduced to Special Agent Zoey McKenna (Kelley Missal). McKenna was appointed to the Fly Team without the team leader, Scott Forrester’s (Luke Kleintank) knowledge or input. Forrester was upset and seems to be facing a transfer himself, but still recognized specific skills and included Zoey in solving the latest case. In the end Zoey told Forrester, “I was pretty sure you’d freeze me out.” Forrester replied, “Not my style.” As a person who does leadership development, I loved that reply. Have you ever been the victim of a freeze out? Or, have you ever been the one doing the freezing out? Agent Forrester could have frozen Zoey out of the team, but to what end? She had knowledge and skills that were crucial to solving the case. Practicing great leadership, Forrester put the greater good of the team above his own personal feelings.

This really got me to thinking about how cruel the practice of freezing someone out is. Being left out, excluded, or not communicated with is a terrible feeling. There is the speculation running through our heads as to what might be going on on the other person’s end. I’ve actually heard leaders advocate for freezing people out saying that “they’ll take the hint,” but in reality because the leader didn’t communicate their motives, the victim wouldn’t necessarily know what’s happening at all. I am so glad this reflection was prompted last night because I have been the freezer before. When considering all this I am reminded that no one deserves to go through that and how wrong I was. It really is about being a decent human. Let’s all make sure we are never practicing the freeze out.