Hidden In Common Firewood
“There is a legend of an artist who long sought for a piece of sandalwood, out of which to carve a Madonna. He was about to give up in despair, leaving the vision of his life unrealized, when in a dream he was bidden to carve his Madonna from a block of oak wood which was destined for the fire. He obeyed and produced a masterpiece from a log of common firewood. Many of us lose great opportunities in life by waiting to find sandalwood for our carvings, when they really lie hidden in the common logs that we burn.” ~ Orison Swett Marden
During my morning study time I came across this passage from Orison Swett Marden. There is a lot to unpack in this short paragraph. Then I thought about the value of this as a prompt. So, instead rambling on with my thoughts, I’m going to employ a best practice from my friend and great author, Bob Tiede: ask you all a question. What lesson do you take away from this Orison Swett Marden passage that you want others to think about and act on?Please add your answer as a comment to this post.
Influencer, Inspiring, & Impactful
At yesterday’s Indiana 3D Leadership gathering I was inspired to do some deeper studying, which is usually the case, because of discussion that took place. I usually say the discussion inspired me, but for this post I’m contemplating what to call it. More on why I say that, later in the post. Last night we did an activity that I call Rushmorean Leadership which was then followed up by an activity called extending the influence. The activity calls for teacher leaders to bring pictures to identify four great leaders to put on their own personal Mount Rushmore. Then they bring six additional pictures to extend the influence.
As with everything this Indiana group does, I was blown away. What struck me last night, however, was that one participant talked about the persons on their board as influencers. Then the next referred to the leaders as inspiring and yet another referred to the her chosen leaders as impactful. For some reason I just had to ask the question of the group: What’s the difference, if any, in these descriptors? A great discussion ensued, which then led to me studying deeper this morning.
We all know that leadership is not about a title or a designation. We also know, and I’m glad we discussed this in depth last night that ambition is not a favorable characteristic of great leaders. For ambition will take over purpose. Influencers, we decided, spread passion for work, causes, innovation, or change. Those that inspire evoke a sense of energy. Finally, impact involves getting results. Impact is ultimately the measuring stick of the influence or inspiration.
Influencers cause us to think about things differently. They help us to shape our purpose, passion, and core values. Interestingly several participants had parents on their boards and referred to how they had influenced their lives.
In contrast, those that inspire help us gain motivation. This inspiration may be in the form of receptivity, positivity, or motivation. There is research that links inspiration to motivation. This inspiration causes us to actively engage in environments that lead toward self growth and fulfillment of needs.
The more I studied and reflected on all this I formed the opinion that most, if not all, of the leaders chosen by the group were influencers who were creating an impact. These individuals were all helping to create constructive cultures, whether in organizations, nations, or globally. In their five star book, Creating Constructive Cultures: Leading People and Organizations to Effectively Solve Problems and Achieve Goals, Janet Szumal and Robert Cooke of Human Synergistics International ask the question: “As a leader, how can you both directly and indirectly influence your organization to ensure that members can independently and interactively solve problems and achieve the organization’s goals more readily and effectively?” I love the question because it has both directly and indirectly. Of the ten leaders each participant brought pictures of, some influenced directly, eg. parents. Others influenced indirectly, eg. Michelle Obama.
One thing is for sure; in all cases the individuals chosen embodied the necessary styles to create constructive cultures. All strove to create the cultural norms necessary for creating constructive cultural styles. See the constructive styles below:
So, I’ve come to the conclusion that influencing, being inspiring, and being impactful are not mutually exclusive. They go hand in hand when being a model of personal growth for us and creating constructive cultures.
Living Is Having A Past Full Of Mistakes
The other day as I was having dinner with a good friend I was talking about some mistakes I had made. He said, “Byron, part of living is having a past full of mistakes.” Wow, how true this is! And, how impactful it was to hear from this. As a person who never worries about failure and tries to learn from every mistake, it was huge to talk this out.
The thing to remember and tell ourselves, however, is that the mistake was not on purpose. We didn’t misunderstand circumstances or miscalculate a situation on purpose. Would we forgive someone else? Sure! So we need to remember to forgive ourselves too, and fail forward. This all doesn’t qualify if the mistake or failure was while taking a risk. That is the nature of risk taking and is necessary.
Then, we just need to do everything we can to fix the mistake. That may mean talking to someone, coming up with a better solution, or letting someone else help out. I always say to others, “There’s nothing you can screw up bad enough that the sun won’t come out tomorrow. And, if it doesn’t, it won’t matter anyway.” Remember, we are human and not infallible.
Finally, we need to take the position that we will be smarter next time. We need to learn from mistakes. Just as others have had amnesia about our past mistakes, we need to have amnesia about others. This is truly having compassion.
Finding Happiness Right Where We Are
I’m starting this post with a driving question: Should we try to find happiness right where we are, rather than being obsessed with where we are going? This sounds really good, and makes for good print, but does anyone actually do it? Or, can it actually be done? I believe I come close, but still have much work to do.
This reflection came at the end of another episode of Boston Legal – Season 3 Episode 23. The balcony scene with Denny Crane and Alan Shore had an interaction at the end where Denny was worried about getting old and losing his edge (which he often does). Alan said, “Yes, but don’t you think the real joy in life lies in the promise of tomorrow? The young simply have more tomorrows stacked up. That’s all.” Replying, Denny said, “Happiness… is right now my friend. On this balcony, right now. You and me.” Even though there is the paradox of Denny living in the moment of happiness right now and being obsessed with continuing to be undefeated in the courtroom and losing his edge with age, I was reminded we need to live more in the happiness of right now. The other thing to note about the conversation between Denny and Alan is the part of young people having more tomorrows stacked up. While generally true, this is not necessarily always the case. We really don’t know how many tomorrows we have – none of us know that. Thus, a strong case for being happy right now!
Many times, if we are honest, we find ourselves chasing after something not because we actually want it, but because we somehow are made to believe we need it. This could be a thing, clothing, new job, promotion, et cetera. This belief comes from our constant comparing of ourselves to others. This is a natural trap to fall into. Easy to say, “Don’t do that!” Almost impossible to not do. We need to constantly be grateful for what we have and remember that someone else’s success is not our failure.
This is why I am so obsessed with the final scene at the end of every episode of Boston Legal. While it is clear that Denny and Alan are not perfect at this happiness in the moment thing, they do, however, end every day with a conversion on the balcony. That conversation always leads to the happiness they have in the moment with their friendship and things they are grateful for. Alan Shore’s final comment in that part of the conversation was, “I love how you reduce everything in life to… you and me.” Maybe it is as simple as reducing things down to the simplest things that bring us happiness.
What if we began to think of happiness as right here, right now? Let’s start being happy first and realizing our some days and best days are right now. Let’s stop looking for answers, what’s next, and getting there and start enjoying here. Our typical happiness model according to Neil Pasricha is actually backward. He argued in 7 Ways To Be Happy Right Now that we operate using the model that great work plus great success brings happiness. The problem, as we all know is, that as soon as we reach that success we are really not that happy because we are already on to what is next. Pasricha continued to posit that we should start the equation with being happy and then great work and big success will follow. I would add “Balcony time with a friend” to Pasricha’s seven ways to be happy.
Here are three other posts I did reflecting on Boston Legal balcony scenes: Is It Fun Being You?; Do You Have An Inexhaustible Ability To Just Live?; and, Are We Best Friends? Let’s make sure we are taking time line Denny and Alan to enjoy and be happy in our “now.” Let’s all put happy at the beginning!
Joyful
Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
In this book you will learn how to find joy and bring joyfulness into the lives of others. We learn to not feel bound by convention; break the mold & bring joy to the world through quirkiness. Even a touch of quirkiness can help everyone relax, be less anxious, and feel joyful. We also learn in this great book that playful design increases joy. The second benefit to playful design: it makes designers more innovative. This book will certainly help you to be more joyful.
~ Dr. Byron Ernest
Barbie Beach Inspiration
I am writing this post out of requests to do so. Today, I facilitated our Georgia 3D Leadership gathering at Coweta Charter Academy. Near the school is Turin, Georgia where the famous attraction Barbie Beach is located. Everyone told me I needed to go see it. Of course they knew I would. Then, they all requested that I write a blog about it. I’ve got to say I’m glad I went, but I was not particularly moved by the experience. But, the more I thought about it I found some inspiration.
This weird roadside attraction, Barbie Beach is the brainchild of Steve and Linda Quick, two longtime Turin locals. It was started in 2005 as a celebration of the 2006 Winter Olympics, that took place in none other than Turin, Italy. Basically they have taken a patch out of their yard out by the road and created a beach for a bunch of nude Barbies. I’m telling you it is creepy, weird, and kinda cool all at the same time.
It wasn’t until I tweeted about it, that I finally got some inspiration. I tagged @Barbie when I tweeted and then looked at the Barbie website and was reminded the inspiration Barbie has been to so many over the years. Barbies have helped girls realize they can be anything they want. Barbie has been celebrating woman as role models since 1959. Barbie has been breaking through the plastic ceiling and providing the inspiration for all women to break through the glass ceilings. I am inspired by the Close The Dream Gap project. Barbie is the original girl empowerment brand.
“What is the dream gap? Starting at age 5, many girls begin to develop limiting self-beliefs. They stop believing their gender can do or be anything. This is the dream gap, and this is the year Barbie begins working to close it.” ~ From the barbie.mattel.com Website
So what did this weird display in Turin, Georgia do for me? It inspired me to study the history of Barbie and be inspired by the great work they are doing for young women. Are you open to exploring the quirky, being curious, and being inspired to learn?
Hailey’s Energy Bus
Several years ago I read the great book, The Energy Bus, by Jon Gordon. It is an outstanding book written as a fable. The book is written from the perspective of a middle manager (George) who is leading a team heading nowhere. Through a series of events he ends up riding a city bus with a positive motivation guru at the helm and a group of “energy” converts in the seats. After riding the bus for two weeks he has learned 10 lessons.
I was reminded of this book this past Thursday night while working with our Carolinas 3D Leadership participants in Kannapolis, North Carolina. The participants were working on a creative activity of putting 10 of the top influencers of leadership in their lives into a collage. Low and behold as I’m circulating I find Hailey’s Energy Bus. It immediately took me back to The Energy Bus book. Hailey Wade Odum realized that these leaders who influenced her, gave her energy. The energy to be a great teacher leader and K-5 STEM Lab instructor at Cabarrus Charter Academy Elementary School. She even tweeted, “Hop aboard the #Leadership #EnergyBus.” Jon Gordon would have been proud!
This really made me think about the ten lessons in The Energy Bus. They all applied to Hailey’s picks of her top ten influencers. Here’s the ten lessons (rules):
- You’re the driver of your bus.
- Desire, vision, and focus move your bus in the right direction.
- Fuel your ride with positive energy.
- Invite people on your bus and share your vision for the road ahead.
- Don’t waste your energy on those who don’t get on your bus.
- Post a sign that says, “No Energy Vampires Allowed” on your bus.
- Enthusiasm attracts more passengers and energizes them during the ride.
- Love your passengers.
- Drive with purpose.
- Have fun and enjoy the ride.
All of these rules I’m sure went into Hailey’s picks of her influencers, but in listening to her report out I believe that rules 2, 3, and 9 were pretty important in the decision. It’s all about personal responsibility. We are each responsible for the direction of our lives. And the direction of our lives is shaped by each day, each thought, and each person we use as a mentor or exemplar. If we are complacent in our lives we let others drive for us. We need to be driving our own energy bus. Have you ever felt out of control? Well, it’s time to take charge and drive your own bus. In my experience, the realization that my efforts now can reap big rewards in the future has always been very empowering.
The other thing we spent time visiting about is that people are constantly being added to our bus. As our lives evolve and we continue to iterate and reinvent ourselves, some of our influencers will change. Unlike like the real Mount Rushmore that is literally carved in stone, our personal Mount Rushmorean leaders should be molded such to be constantly evolving. Who’s on your ENERGY BUS?
Leading Like Mr. Incredible
At our most recent 3D Leadership gathering in Florida we had the participants make name tags because our group size was around 80 individuals. But you know me, I couldn’t just have them make a normal boring name tag with a name, they also had to put the name of the superhero that they would most want to be. Then during some presenting out they had to tell us why. Great activity and way to get to know others! I was blown away, however, by one person, Bradley Warren, Assistant Principal at Waterset Charter School, who put Mr. Incredible AKA Byron on his. I was honored and asked the person why and he said, “You remind me of Mr. Incredible.” I’m pretty sure he was kidding, but… So, I had to do some studying on, you guessed it, Mr. Incredible.
Basically my research revealed that Mr. Incredible started out like any other superhero by saving the world several times. Then I found that he and other superheroes were forced to suppress their superness (yes, I made up that word). During this time it was tough for Mr. Incredible because he was looking for ways to be great and help others. Also, during this time he got married and started a family. Sounds like a lot of us, right? This reminded me that God intended us all to be leaders, fight for what is right, to win, and to defend. I try to live up to this call every day.
The big thing that stands out about Mr. Incredible to me is the fact that for him to realize it was not all about him was that he had to end up with a real family with the real day to day challenges and tribulations we all face. In thinking about it, all of the superheroes are real people with real challenges who lead real lives. It’s easy to be Mr. Incredible, or any other superhero for that matter, when you have super powers. It’s much harder to be a dad and husband, like the real Mr. Incredible, Robert Parr, who works each day and raises kids to adulthood has to do.
“No matter how many times you save the world. It manages to get back in jeopardy again.” ~ Mr. Incredible
We all need a challenge and we all need to do our part to save the world. Whether that is in the world of education, like in my case, or wherever your passion and purpose takes you. We must all choose to lead. We need to all realize we are valuable whether we can leap tall buildings (which we can’t) or not. We can, however, make a huge difference just being who we are.
What great leadership lessons I learned from a simple name tag. Thanks Bradley, for making me evaluate and reflect on whether I am living up to the Mr. Incredible standards. Do you have any Mr. Incredible insights to add?
Pushing Our Boundaries & Reaching Beyond Ourselves
As I was driving across Central Florida from Orlando to Tampa yesterday on I-4, I noticed a place that I will definitely have to factor into my next excursion for facilitating my Florida 3D Leadership gatherings. When I got to Polk City I looked over to the north and saw a place called Fantasy of Flight. As you all know, I am an avid student of the history of flight; particularly as it relates to the Wright Brothers. I have blogged about them so many times I am not going to put any links to posts here, but if you search Wright Brothers here in my blog you will find lots about the inspiration I have found from these two great men in our world’s history.
I say world’s history because I really believe that their tenacity and vision for the why of flight might be the single most important innovation ever. This is why I was so struck by the name of this museum and event venue – Fantasy of Flight. It is so perfect because for so many flight was a fantasy. But, the right brothers took the fantasy and made it a reality. This quote from the owner, Kermit Weeks, is so perfect (Not to mention that I love metaphors!):
“Flight is the most profound metaphor for pushing our boundaries, reaching beyond ourselves, and freedom. And…don’t we All…fly in our dreams?” ~ Kermit Weeks
As I continued across the beautiful Florida countryside I noticed many birds and remembered how the Wright Brothers studied the wings of birds and how they took off, landed, climbed in altitude, and glided. I can imagine them fantasizing about flying. It is hard for me to imagine what was going through their minds. I’ve never lived in a time without airplanes, so I am envious of their incredible, artistic, and creative abilities that it took to invent the first plane. They used intersective innovation by taking the design of the bird and applying it to the first flying machine. Amazingly, those same designs and innovations on the first Wright flyer are in use on the plane I am sitting on right now, preparing to fly me home.
Imagine the audacity to think they could build a machine that would fly. Remember, people made fun of them. Also, the audacity to know what being able to fly would do to affect all generations to come. In other words, WHY being able to fly would be advantageous to the human race. Basically, everything in the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum , where their first plane is on display, is there as a result of the Wright Brother’s innovative leadership! Additionally, there would be no Fantasy Of Flight museum without the Wright Brothers.
I am so glad I was paying attention on my drive yesterday and saw Fantasy Of Flight. It also gives me something to look forward to exploring. I so want to meet Kermit Weeks. I also see where they have flying experiences available in bi-planes – I am so doing it! I can’t wait to fly out in the open air like Orville did on that fateful day in December, 1903.
The Wright Brothers believed that just because it had never been done before, did not mean that it could not be done. They were modeling for us how to push beyond the boundaries. Think about all the impossible things that have been conquered by man. These things might include, landing on the moon, landing a craft on Mars, curing many diseases, organ transplants, and yes – even first flight.
What are you working on that is pushing your boundaries? What is your Fantasy Of (insert here)? Go ahead, fly in your dreams!
Reflections From My Son On Martin Luther King, Jr.
Quotations From Martin Luther King, Jr.
Last weekend my son was doing homework and asked if he could discuss his answers to an assignment with me. Of course I was a willing participant. It turned out to be a great discussion and chance for me to learn just how values driven and principled my son had become.
It was a great English class assignment where the students were given nine quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr. and asked to react with what he/she believed the meaning of the quote was or how to use the quote to make the world a better place. I thought it was a great assignment for reflection. I was so blown away by our discussion that I asked my son if I could share his answers on my blog. He said yes! So, on this day that we honor Martin Luther King, Jr., here are some quotes and some reaction from my son, Heath:
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
This shows how a person should stick to his or her core values and principles when in a time of challenge. This quote is as good today as back in his time.
“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
This explains how we need to get along and not fight within. We need to be united and not be separate.Because if we don’t, we will all go down as fools. This is also a good quote to relate to today in our current political environment.
“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
This just shows that we need to be willing to go all in on our thoughts and beliefs. As Patrick Henry said, “Give me liberty or give me death.“ The quote is saying they you need to be committed to what you believe in and be ready to die for it.
“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
This shows that you have to be comfortable even when you aren’t comfortable. You have to be able to take a chance even though you don’t know how the end result will be.
“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false, and the false with the true.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
We need to practice civilized disdain, where we understand each other’s differences and respect the different opinions of each other. This will allow us to work together and reach consensus.
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Do your research to know what all sides believe in and knowing the details of the issue.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Even if we see an injustice of someone or something that doesn’t affect us personally we still need to be concerned and help those who are being hurt.
“I have a dream that one day…the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
He wanted all cultures and races to come together and understand each other and respect each other.
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today!” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
It doesn’t matter where you come from or what zip code you live in we all are fellow human beings. He wanted people to not judged by the race or color but by how good of a person you are and their skills and talents.
Hopefully you’ll take some time to reflect like we did. Today, we honor Martin Luther King, Jr., the de facto spokesman of the Civil Rights Movement, for his key role in directing our nation closer to its goal of equality for all.
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