Byron's Babbles

Six Kinds Of Procrastinators, And How To Help Them Deliver

why-you-procrastinate

Originally published on the Lead Change Instigator Blog

Six Kinds Of Procrastinators, And How To Help Them Deliver
By Nate Regier

In college, I used to put off studying, often until the night before the exam. Why? You might be surprised. Not because I was worried. Not because I was lazy. Not because I didn’t like studying. Not even because I had more interesting things to do. Nope. I did it because it didn’t get exciting enough until time was running out. Call me crazy, but I did my best work under the gun.

Observe several people procrastinate and they may look similar on the surface. They put off making decisions or completing important tasks, and that’s a problem. It delays progress, holds others up, and increases the chance of mistakes. Why do people do this?

It may be easy to jump to the conclusion that procrastinators are lazy or lack discipline. Very often nothing could be further from the truth.

Procrastination is strongly influenced by personality type. Why should you care? Because knowing this can help you understand your own procrastination tendencies and have a better idea what to do about it. As a friend, parent, leader, mentor, or coach you’ll be better equipped to help others in the most constructive ways.

In no particular order, here are six kinds of procrastinators along with tips for how to help them deliver on time.

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAjBAAAAJDE2MmZmNWQ1LTM4MjItNGU1ZC05YWNjLTk1MzJhMGEyZWQyZgType #1: Pleasers

Pleasers procrastinate for fear of conflict, disapproval or rejection. If they run out of time, maybe you’ll feel sorry for them and give them a break.

How to help the Pleaser: Reassure these people that you care about them regardless of the decision they make or the outcome of their efforts. Affirm that even if they make a mistake, mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow and you will be with them through it all. When conflict-avoidant Pleasers know they are unconditionally supported and OK they are more confident to move forward, even with difficult decisions and actions.

Type #2: Perfection-Seekers

Perfection-Seekers procrastinate until there is more data or more evidence. These people suffer from analysis paralysis and fear the loss of control that comes with making a decision or taking action.

How to help the Perfection-Seeker: Affirm these people’s thinking ability and problem-solving skills. Help them weigh pros and cons, anticipate consequences, and develop a “Plan B.” Ultimately, Perfection-Seekers need support to face the sadness and loss of control that comes with making decisions. Encourage and support them to let go and move on when more information will not help them feel any more secure.

Type #3: Responsibility Avoiders

Responsibility-Avoiders procrastinate to avoid taking ownership or having to live up to expectations. If they run out of time, it’s not their fault.

How to help the Responsibility-Avoider: Above all, avoid judging or preaching about responsibility. They key is to balance a “chill” attitude with clarity around what you want them to do. Let them know you’ll accept them unconditionally regardless of the outcome and affirm their creativity in finding their own way from point A to B.

Type #4: Thrill Seekers

Thrill-Seekers procrastinate until the stakes are high enough to make it exciting. That was me in college! If they run out of time, they’ll try to pin it on someone else.

How to help a Thrill-Seeker: Play to their strengths – make it thrilling. If you want them to meet a deadline, make it exciting by issuing a dare or prize. Challenge them to “pull it off,” make it a special assignment that only they can do. I once had a Thrill-Seeker working for me in training support. When I tried to plan ahead with her, it ended up in procrastination. I learned to wait until the last minute to give her assignments and it worked like a charm.

Type #5: Hostage Takers

Hostage-Takers procrastinate on giving approval or being satisfied. They confuse high standards with unrealistic expectations and hold others hostage with their chronic discontent. Pleasers and Perfection-Seekers are particularly vulnerable to the Hostage-Taker’s traps.

How to help a Hostage-Taker: Recognize that beneath it all is a noble desire for excellence and high-quality. Hostage-Takers are natural protectors and want to help others be more perfect. Replace this negative energy by affirming their convictions and dedication to quality. Ask proactive questions about their standards and expectations, and invite their opinions along the way.

Type #6: Passive-Avoiders

Passive-Avoiders procrastinate because they don’t feel potent enough to make an independent decision.

How to help a Passive-Avoider: Avoid questioning their intentions or commitment. They are externally motivated and greatly appreciate clear direction. They are more responsive than responsible, more directable than self-directed. Use clear, concise commands to find out what they have on their plate, and then direct them towards clear action steps.

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About Dr. Nate Regier


Dr. Nate Regier is the co-founding owner and chief executive officer of Next Element, a global advisory firm specializing in building cultures of compassionate accountability. A former practicing psychologist, Regier is an expert in social-emotional intelligence and leadership, positive conflict, mind-body-spirit health, neuropsychology, group dynamics, interpersonal and leadership communication, executive assessment and coaching, organizational development, team building and change management. An international adviser, he is a certified Leading Out of Drama master trainer, Process Communication Model® certifying master trainer and co-developer of Next Element’s Leading Out of Drama® training and coaching. Nate has published two books: Beyond Drama and his latest work, Conflict without Casualties.

Prepare Thoroughly Before You Begin

2943db3662439efb1c6664f1025cb4bePrepare Thoroughly Before You Begin
By Brian Tracy

The following post is an excerpt from chapter 9 of Eat That Frog.

A word about frogs… It has been said that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you can go through the day with the satisfaction of knowing that that is probably the worst thing that is going to happen to you all day long. Your “frog” is your biggest, most important task, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it. It is also the one task that can have the greatest positive impact on your life and results at the moment.51DFpUVGkQL

Prepare Thoroughly Before You Begin

One of the best ways for you to overcome procrastination and get more things done faster is to have everything you need at hand before you begin. When you are fully prepared, you are like a cocked gun or an archer with an arrow pulled back taut in the bow. You will be amazed at what you achieve in the months and years ahead. You just need one small mental push to get started on your highest-value tasks.

This is like getting everything ready to prepare a complete meal. You set all the ingredients out on the counter in front of you and then begin putting the meal together, one step at a time.

Begin by clearing off your desk or workspace so that you have only one task in front of you. If necessary, put everything else on the floor or on a table behind you.

Gather all the information, reports, details, papers, and work materials that you will require to complete the job. Have them at hand so you can reach them without getting up or moving around. Be sure that you have all the writing materials, log-in information, access codes, e-mail addresses, and everything else you need to start working and continue working until the job is done.

Set up your work area so that it is comfortable, attractive, and conducive to working for long periods. Especially, make sure that you have a comfortable chair that supports your back and allows your feet to rest flat on the floor.

The most productive people take the time to create a work area where they enjoy spending time. The cleaner and neater you organize your work area before you begin, the easier it will be for you to get started and keep going.

When everything is laid out neatly and in sequence, you will feel much more like getting on with the job.

It is amazing how many books never get written, how many degrees never get completed, how many life-changing tasks never get started because people fail to take the first step of preparing everything in advance.

Once you have completed your preparations, it is essential that you launch immediately toward your goals. Get started. Do the first thing, whatever it is.

My personal rule is “Get it 80 percent right and then correct it later.” Run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes. Don’t expect perfection the first time or even the first few times. Be prepared to fail over and over before you get it right.

Wayne Gretzky, the great hockey player, once said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” Once you have completed your preparations, have the courage to take the first action, and everything else will follow from that. The way you develop the courage you need is to act as if you already had the courage and behave accordingly.

When you sit down with everything in front of you, ready to go, assume the body language of high performance. Sit up straight; sit forward and away from the back of the chair. Carry yourself as though you were an efficient, effective, high-performing personality. Then, pick up the first item and say to yourself, “Let’s get to work!” and plunge in. And once you’ve started, keep going until the job is finished.

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Brian Tracy is one of the top business speakers in the world today. He has designed and presented seminars for more than 1,000 large companies and more than 10,000 small and medium- sized enterprises in 75 countries on the subjects of Leadership, Management, Professional Selling, Business Model Reinvention, and Profit Improvement. He has addressed more than 5,000,000 people in more than 5,000 talks and presentations worldwide. He currently speaks to 250,000 people per year. His fast-moving, entertaining video-based training programs are taught in 38 countries.

Brian is a bestselling author. In addition to Eat That Frog, Brian has written more than 80 books that have been translated into 42 languages, including Kiss That Frog!, Find Your Balance Point, Goals!, Flight Plan, Maximum Achievement, No Excuses!, Advanced Selling Strategies, and How the Best Leaders Lead. He is happily married, with four children and five grandchildren. He is the president of Brian Tracy International and lives in Solana Beach, California. He can be reached at briantracy@briantracy.com.

Leading Like A Thunderbird!

thunderbirdsRVMOn our way home from The Gulf on our spring break with my family we saw the B-2 Spirit Stealth Bomber flying over Maxwell Airforce Base in Montgomery, Alabama. This was an awesome sight of power and technological superiority. We then saw the US Air Force Thunderbirds. We were memorized by the many formations, maneuvers, and acrobatics. This was all part of the Maxwell Air Show & Open House held April 8-9, 2017. We were fortunate enough to be traveling through at just the right time.

The pilots of America’s military demonstration team, the US Air Force Thunderbirds, are some of the world’s best, performing death-defying tricks in fighter jets. While the individual skills of each pilot is admirable, what sets the pilots of the Thunderbirds apart is their ability to work as a synchronized team.

img_0136-2-1024x684I did a little research and found the mission of the Thunderbirds. Officially, the Thunderbirds are known as the U.S. Air Force Air Demonstration Squadron. The squadron’s mission is to plan and present precision aerial maneuvers to exhibit the capabilities of modern, high-performance aircraft and the high degree of professional skill required to operate those aircraft. Within this broad mission, the team has five primary objectives:

  • Support Air Force recruiting and retention programs
  • Reinforce public confidence in the Air Force and to demonstrate to the public theprofessional competence of Air Force members
  • Strengthen morale and esprit de corps among Air Force members
  • Support Air Force community relations and people-to-people programs
  • Represent the United States and its armed forces to foreign nations and project international goodwill

The Lockheed Martin F-16 Fighting Falcon represents the full range of capabilities possessed by the Air Force’s tactical fighters. This highly-maneuverable multi-role fighter has proved to be one of the world’s best precision tactical bombers and air-to-air combat aircraft. The only modifications needed to prepare aircraft for air demonstrations are a smoke-generating system and painting in Thunderbird colors. The Thunderbirds are actually part of our combat force. This squadron must be ready for actual missions at a moments notice.maxresdefault

As I watched the precision of the maneuvers, I was awestruck by how this team of pilots could fly just one or two foot away from each other at MACH 2 speeds. It was amazing! Then I thought about how this was the ultimate example of leading teams and team cohesion. This team of pilots must be both familiar with each other and trust each other. Trust is about reliability and doing the right thing. Trust is a characteristic that builds respect and loyalty, as well as a supportive and safe work environment. I can only imagining the practice that it takes to build the familiarity and to fly as Thunderbird or be a part of the team on the ground.

Even though most of us do not have the thrill and danger of travel inches apart in aircraft going at MACH speeds, all leaders and teams must study fear, understand it, and be prepared to cope with it. I say it all the time – we must have some fear and be uncomfortable in order to grow professionally. Like fear, courage takes many forms, from a stoic courage born of reasoned calculation to a fierce courage born of heightened emotion. Experience under fire generally increases courage, as can realistic training by lessening the mystique of what we are doing.

So, just as I imagine all the practice and real-life maneuvering that goes into the Thunderbirds work, we must all strive to learn in the real time/real world context of what we do. Strong leadership which earns the respect and trust of team limits the effects of fear. Leaders should develop unit cohesion and the self-confidence of individuals within the team. In this environment a team member’s unwillingness to violate the respect and trust of his peers will overcome personal fear. This is why we must help our team members to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and get out of their comfort zone to learn new maneuvers and give great performance. Are you leading like the Thunderbirds?

 

Thanks For Not Being An Expert

file 4

My Awesome Delta Flight Attendant!

I wrote the following post yesterday during a day of flight delays trying to get to Pensacola, Florida to ultimately hook up with my family. Literally, I wrote the post in the cover of the book I am reading by Frederick (Rick) M. Hess, Letters to a Young Education Reformer. This post came to mind as I was reading the chapter entitled, “Why You Shouldn’t Put Too Much Faith In Experts.” Here’s what I wrote in the cover of the book:

Thanks For Not Being An Expert

I was inspired to write this post, honestly, by my flight attendant. She kept me up to date on what was going on during a day riddled with delays and cancellations. I had started the process in the afternoon yesterday when my flight to Atlanta was cancelled. I then started the process at 6:30 this morning and had been cancelled and delayed again until 12 noon when we finally got on the plane. I now did not think I was going to make my connection in Atlanta to get picked up by my wife and son in Pensacola, Florida. It might not have been quite as big a deal except for the fact that my son, Heath, and I were scheduled to go bow fishing tonight. rick_hess_book_portrait

For the trip I had brought along my friend, Rick Hess’s new book,  Letters to a Young Education Reformer. It is an awesome book and while sitting on a delayed plane I read the chapter “Why You Shouldn’t Put Too Much Faith In Experts.” As a guy that does not really believe in using experts, subject matter experts (SMEs), or consultants, I loved this chapter. Really, it’s not that experts are bad, but we just shouldn’t rely on their word as the final word. As Rick says, “I’ve found that experts often forget that their expertise represents just a tiny sliver of the world, and thus overestimate how much they know and what it can tell us. And that can cause problems” (p. 32).

My flight attendant let me know that my connecting flight had been delayed in Atlanta. She was not sure why we were not taking off, but she would see if she could find out and would keep me posted. Keep in mind, I was about the only friendly person on the plane. With so many flight cancellations and delays from the rash of storms across the south and eastern seaboard, everyone was struggling to get where they needed to be. The airlines were struggling to get pilots and flight crews where they needed to be.

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First Draft of This Post Written In The Cover of Letters to a Young Education Reformer

Here’s the deal; my great flight attendant did not try to be an expert, nor did she even want to be an expert. She was a great example of what I believe we should all strive to do – not give blind guesses or speculate. She certainly had flown enough to be considered an expert, but she did not try to baffle me with expertise or make assumptions based on past experiences like this one. Instead she impressed me by leading with clarity, not certainty! She used the tools and information available to keep me informed of my circumstances. As the expert flight attendant, she did the precise task, using her available information and training to keep me informed of what was going on. When I got to Atlanta she let me know we were at Terminal F, Gate 1 and that I needed to go to Terminal C, Gate 41. She also assured me I was going to make it because my connector flight had been delayed and I now had 1 hour and 10 minutes to make it on the plane. Just like with airline industry schedules, in education we don’t always have a lot of certainty as to what will work, we just need to strive for clarity. 51bHghz6ihL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

Remember, the experts get it wrong all the time. The reality that when people become emotionally invested in their predictions, they cannot see straight—no matter how experienced or educated or smart they are. They become blind to other view points or the actual facts of the situation. All too many times experts begin speculating on past experiences and not the situation at hand. In his new book, “Stop Guessing: The 9 Behaviors of Great Problem Solvers,” Nat Greene calls this the “Expert Curse of Knowledge.” Experts think they know things and then don’t look at all the options. Experts should never be put in a position where their opinion means more than yours.

Are you acting too much like an expert or spending too much time listening and following experts?

Dig In & Stop Guessing

Stop Guessing by Nat Greene
Stop Guessing: The 9 Behaviors of Great Problem Solvers
by Nat Greene (Goodreads Author)

All leaders should read this book and put into practice the behaviors of sound problem solving. These behaviors are also transferable to all decision making. Particularly noteworthy is the knowledge this book provides regarding use of experts. Experts can also learn how to be more valuable by reading this book. The bevaviors for solving problems are easily implemented. By using the right data points and digging in recognizing all hard problems are solvable, we can stop guessing and make the right decisions.
~ Dr. Ernest

Decision Making vs Problem Solving — and Why the Difference Matters

file 9Decision Making vs Problem Solving — and Why the Difference Matters
By Scott Whitbread and Nat Greene

Decision-making and problem-solving are two very different techniques for conquering different challenges that businesses face. Choosing the right one in the right situation can mean the difference between business success and failure. However, businesses frequently use decision-making techniques when they should be using a problem-solving approach. This leaves important problems unsolved and value locked away.

The Difference Between-Decision Making and Problem-Solving

Both decision making and problem solving involve using information to inform an action. However, this is where their similarities end.

Decision-making involves choosing between different courses of action. The process of decision-making is clear: each option is evaluated based on a set of parameters or criteria. But the outcome is not as clear: the outcome from the decision only becomes clear when a decision is made.

Problem-solving involves finding a root cause among many possible root causes, whether or not the true root cause has emerged as a possibility in anyone’s mind. The outcome is clear: the problem should be solved in order to bring a business process back to optimal performance. But the process is not clear: what is causing the problem is not yet known, and the problem solver must explore the process without yet knowing their destination. They do not know their destination until they have discovered the root cause.

A detective is a problem-solver. Their role is to unequivocally determine who committed the crime, and thus exonerate all other suspects, and thus their objective is clear. Their journey is not clear: they may never find the criminal.

A judge is a decision-maker. Their journey is clear: they look at evidence, circumstances, and precedent in order to arrive at a judgment for a convicted criminal. But their purpose is not always clear: they face competing goals, including justly punishing the criminal, giving satisfaction to the victims, appeasing the public, setting an example for others, and not over-burdening the prison system.

In business, a problem to solve may be the explosion of the SpaceX rocket on September 1, 2016, which required detective work in order to identify the root cause. Product quality problems, talent retention problems, and customer service problems all fit this mold.

In business, decisions may include where to build a new facility and at how much capacity, what product to launch, who to hire, or what security system to use. All of these decisions are choosing between alternatives that are already apparent.

As in the case of a crime, decision-making frequently enters at the end of a problem-solving effort. Once the root cause to a problem is found, the business may need to decide between different possible solutions in order to maximize the value of the actions it takes. Before solving a problem, a business will choose which problem to devote resources to solving.

Why it Matters

When businesses correctly identify a challenge as a decision or a problem, they are able to apply the correct technique to overcome the challenge. But frequently a business will treat a problem as a decision, use the wrong approach, and fail to solve the problem.

One large chemical upgrader facility experienced frequent outages due to failing process pumps. These pumps cost millions of dollars apiece, and the outages were costing the business tens of millions per year. The pump seals were wearing down after a few months, causing the process chemical to leak. As pumps were replaced with spares, the business worked with its vendor to choose between potential upgrades for the pumps: harder seals, larger seals, or different geometries. They treated their problem like a decision to make, and despite multiple upgrades, they continued to experience outages.

When they pivoted to a problem-solving approach, and acted more like detectives, they closely observed the failures themselves, and found the presence of small, hard foreign grains. These grains caused excess friction and wore the seals down. Further problem-solving found the source of these grains–the “culprit”–and they were able to solve the problem.

How to Choose the Right Technique

A decision is the result of choosing among several alternative possibilities. You will see a decision in front of you when the business is attempting to take a step, and the next action requires identifying and evaluating the values and needs of the business in order to select an option that maximizes these.

A problem is an ongoing, intermittent, or one-time failure of a process or system to perform at an acceptable level. If a process produces errors or unacceptable products or outcomes, does not run as quickly or efficiently as it should, or poses a negative risk for a business during operation, you are experiencing a problem and should use a problem solving technique.

Choosing the right technique for your challenge requires understanding what kind of challenge lies before your business. Learning to recognize and differentiate between these kinds of challenges will help you pick the right approach, and successfully overcome the challenge.

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Nathaniel Greene is the co-founder and current CEO of Stroud International, and author of Stop Guessing: The 9 Behaviors of Great Problem-Solvers. Nat has a Masters of Engineering from Oxford University and studied design, manufacturing and management at Cambridge University, in addition to executive education coursework in Harvard Business School’s Owner/President Management program.

A Whisper In The Wind

file 8The pigs are running the farm. So begins the story of Farmer Able. Everyone on his farm — people and animals alike — are downright downtrodden by him. He’s overbearing and compulsively obsessed with profits and productivity. He’s a typical top-down, power-based manager, forever tallying production numbers in his well-worn ledgers. But the more he pushes the hoofs and horns and humans, the more they dig in their heels. That is until one day when he hears a mysterious wind that whispers: “It’s not all about me.” Can he turn things around and begin attending to the needs of those on his farm, thus improving their attitudes and productivity?

The following is an excerpt from chapter 9 of Farmer Able.

A Whisper In The Wind

31PMR15bDfL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_In this oily, oaty shack, the farmer would lay out his bulky ledgers. He meticulously transferred numbers from the little book in his bib overalls’ pocket to the hefty registers. The farmer found strange comfort in the ruled pages as he ground his pencil ever sharper and wrote out the pluses and mostly minuses of his accounts. He stored the ledgers, marked year-by-year, in file cabinets that stood like metal testaments to his many failures. His less-thans and could-have-beens were committed to ink and paper and encased in steel.

This simple little exercise of keeping his accounts was exhausting. Every entry took a heavy toll. The good farmer spent so much time worrying over the numbers that the only thing that was adding up was his anxiety. His overworked mind—not to mention the day-to-day grind to get all his jobs done—would regularly cause an overstressed stomach. Farmer Able had developed a persistent bellyache.

As Farmer Able stared at the penciled numbers, trying to avoid the acid in his stomach, he noticed something quite strange. The old barn siding, which had become weathered over the years, always had a creaky sound to it. However on this night, the spring wind that blew outside conspired to create an odd whine and wail as it forced itself up against the old boards.

Moan went the wind, then groan went the boards at an even higher pitch as the gusts accelerated. The effect was like breath across the reeds of a harmonica. Adding to the sound was a singsongy whistle.

The farmer put down his pencil. He just had to fix that irritating sound, so he went outside and stumbled along the shed trying to locate the shaky boards. However, he could find nothing that fixed the spot of the strange reverberation.

With one particularly strong gust of southern wind, his attention was turned to an even more unusual creak. It came from the old walnut tree standing as it had for some 80 years in the lot just outside the granary. The moan and groan were even more pronounced in the tree as the branches moved in the wind. It had a distinctive tone to it that the farmer hadn’t heard before. The sound went beyond a rustle or even a swoosh.

Adding to this display was a light dance on the tree itself. The full moon that shone down that night lit up the old walnut with a curious luminescence. The branches were silvery and appeared to glow.

Farmer Able thought “What the dickens?” as old leaves left over from autumn swirled at his feet. There appeared to be something stirring, a conspiring of sorts between wind and light and tree. As he stared dumbfounded, the sounds took on even more definition. From creak and moan . . . to oooh-weee-oooh to aaaa-ble.

Did the wind just say his name?

And then—sweet molly moonlight!—Farmer Able heard a most distinct English word: It’s.

The word faded with the wind. The farmer wiggled a finger in his ear. Surely he wasn’t hearing what he was hearing. He was about to leave, when suddenly the wind gathered itself again, and through the branches came words with even more particularity: It’s . . . not . . .

Accompanying the words was that unmistakable twinkling from moon to branches. The sounds of the words were in rhythm with the pulse of that light. The articulation came from the wind, across the tree, and then it resonated on the creaky boards of the granary. He was hearing it coming and going, inside and out.

It’s . . . not . . . about …

The wind sound trailed off like it was taking a breath. Then summoning itself again, a gust built up.

It’s . . . not . . . about . . . me.

The reverb echoed off the granary: . . . about . . . me . . . me . . . me. The wispy resonance faded into the night.

Suddenly the wind stopped dead. All was still. Farmer Able just stood there in the silence. Mysteriously, he could still hear the words inside.

*****

Art Barter believes everyone can be great, because everyone can serve. To teach about the power of servant leadership, Art started in his own backyard by rebuilding the culture of the manufacturing company he bought, Datron World Communications. Art took Datron’s traditional power-led model and turned it upside down and the result was the international radio manufacturer grew from a $10 million company to a $200 million company in six years. Fueled by his passion for servant leadership, Art created the Servant Leadership Institute (SLI).

To learn more about Art and his new Servant Leadership Journal, as well as his book on servant leadership, Farmer Able: A Fable About Servant Leadership Transforming Organizations And People From The Inside Out, endorsed by Stephen M.R. Covey, Ken Blanchard , and John C. Maxwell , visit www.servantleadershipinstitute.com .

Early Departure

file 2I am excited to do a blog post about a new best practice I discovered when reading the great book Community: The Structure of Belonging by Peter Block. I had always felt awkward when leaving a meeting or event early and would tell the host ahead of time and just slip out – hopefully unnoticed. I have since learned this is not best practice. Block (2009) suggested that when a participant leaves early, there is a hole and kind of emptiness left behind. The early exit leaves a void. There is a cost and consequence for this and the departure takes energy and resources from the experience of both the person leaving and those staying behind. We need to take this seriously, because this loss is an element of engagement.

We need to treat the early departure just like any other important element of the meeting or gathering. Here are five steps to how this can be done:

  1. Ask in the beginning for people to give notice of leaving. Ask them to leave in public, not to sneak out in the dark of night or in silence or during a break.
  2. Acknowledge their leaving in a deliberate way. Have them announce to the group that they are leaving and where they are going. This will create some discomfort, but that is the nature of separation.
  3. Have three people from the group say, “Here’s what you’ve given us . . .” This is a moment for the gifts conversation.
  4. Ask the soon-to-be-departed, “What are you taking with you? What shifted for you, became clearer? What value have you received as a result of being here? Is there anything else you’d like to say to the community?”
  5. Thank them for coming.

Clearly, there are variations to what I have provided above that would work. The most important thing, however, is that you do something for acknowledgment of early departing group members. Let me tell you, the first few times of doing this seemed awkward and counter intuitive to letting an early departing guest slip out, but honestly this has made our gatherings much richer. I believe our participants would tell you that it seems awkward to not do the above five steps now. In fact I used this process with a state official who left early during a World Cafe`style stakeholder gathering we did last week. He texted me after he left and thanked me for handling his departure the way I did. He had great insights to share before he left and the group left him feeling worthwhile with their comments before he left. This truly is a best practice.

In fact, if I have to leave a meeting early that I am attending and not in charge of, I ask if we can do this process. We owe it to our communities to take this seriously. How do you handle early departures?

Reference

Block, Peter (2009). Community: The structure of belonging. Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Kindle Edition.

Leading Like Norman Rockwell

file 7Let’s face it, if you are not being criticized, you are not leading and guiding the organization to grow, innovate and explore endless possibilities. Criticism is a natural part of leadership. If no one is criticizing your leadership – you are not leading correctly. This was also true of one of America’s greatest artists, Norman Rockwell. In Lesson #28, “The Dream Post,” in 52 Leadership Lessons: Timeless Stories For The Modern Leader, author John Parker Stewart points out how Norman Rockwell was sharply criticized by fellow artists. They called his art too simplistic and predictable. Some peers would not even recognize him as an artist. Well, we know the rest of the story and the great inspiration his art brought to our country at great times of need and is still bringing to us today.img_0674-2

Just like Norman Rockwell, as you find success in your leadership journey, some people will try to take you down. The leaches and loafers that are envious of your success may attempt to slow down your momentum. This is actually a sign that you are on the right path. As Stewart reminded us, we will be tempted to seek the approval of the so called “expert” critics. We need to shut this down, however, and make sure we are following our passions and dreams.

“Our best success comes when we are true to ourselves.” ~ John Parker Stewart

While we do not want the critics to control us, we mustn’t forget, however, the most effective leaders listen to critics as a means of acquiring helpful feedback to improve their personal and organizational performance. Great leaders value the diversity of others’ opinions as a resource, not a threat. This does not mean compromising core values, passions, and dreams. Take time to reflect on what you’ve learned. If the criticisms and suggestions are valid, adjust your decisions and actions accordingly.

Finally, we need to remember, there are two types of criticism – constructive and destructive – learning to recognize the difference between the two can help you deal with any criticism you may receive. It’s really pretty easy to distinguish between the two. Constructive criticism, is provided to point out our mistakes, but also show us where and how improvements can be made. Conversely, destructive criticism is often just thoughtlessness by another person, and can be deliberately malicious and hurtful. So, in the words of John Parker Stewart, “As you pursue your dreams, don’t give way to critics who enjoy tearing others down. Be true to yourself and your own happiness.” In other words don’t compromise your core values and dreams for some critic.

Are you being constructive with others?

Are You Leading Like A Rock Star?

Myles Kennedy & I in Nashville

Today, listening to everyone sing hymns, I was struck at how easy it is to follow along with the music. Then I thought of how hard it is to follow along with a rock band. This is particularly hard where the vocals have been removed, like in karaoke. I discovered part of the reason is that at church the pianist is playing the melody for us, and we just follow along. I like this and it is important to the church service. Whereas when listening to a rock band, the lead singer is the melody. This was driven home to me when I was present for Alter Bridge’s sound check last fall in Nashville, Tennessee. When Myles Kennedy was singing it sounded exactly like what we hear on a cd, but when he wasnt it sounded entirely different. He was singing the melody notes without any exact accompaniment. That’s why it is so hard to take his voice out and sing the song the same – I think. Remember, I am not a music expert.

Here is a link to my video of the sound check:  Show Me A Leader Take a listen and I think you will see what I mean. It would be very tough to sing Show Me A Leader without Myles singing with us. Click here to see the in-concert version. 

The catch is that when singing in our vehicle to our favorite rock band, we are always singing along with another singer. We get all our cues from that singer’s voice. When I’ve listened to instrumental versions of songs I know, I recognize them, of course, but don’t always know where the singing part would come in. I mean sometimes I can tell, like for a really obvious chorus or something, but especially for the verses, and especially for songs where there isn’t an instrument playing the singing melody, I can’t automatically hear where to come in when singing.

So, let’s compare this to leadership. As leaders we need to remember that we are singing the lead and need to make sure that everyone in the organization is able to read the sheet music (understand the vision, mission, core values, and strategic plan of the organization). If you read music then it is simple to see where your cues are, or otherwise I suppose it would be listening to music and learning to count measures to determine when your cue is. As leaders, we need to provide the cues and teach our teams to read the music. Better yet, we need to sing along with them.

I am guessing it would be a lot easier if I had the sheet music for Show Me A Leader and learned at least the basics of written music. Like learning about time signatures, keys, tempos, and the various notes and rests. Learning just this much probably wouldn’t take very long, and I’d probably be amazed how useful it would be. So, we need to make sure and provide the personal growth opportunities to those we serve in our organizations to be able to read the “music,” so to speak. 

Having said all of this, however, we need to still be artful leaders. The great rock bands many times abandon traditional musical lyricism, tone, and articulation. Rock singing should be rather ambiguous in rhythm, lyrics, and pitch. That is the essence of hard rock. Just like leading the transformation of an organization may not be so abstract. 

If we think of our organization as a rock band (who wouldn’t want to do that?), then we need to model professionalism. Someone might be a brilliant songwriter (leader) and have lots of great ideas, but a good band member becomes an amazing band member if he or she is also on time, respectful, organized and prepared.

Relationships matter. It appears many rock bands break up over this relationship piece, as is the case on many organizations and teams. Just like in a relationship, each person’s expectations and needs should be discussed. Remember that each musician (team member) brings his or her own expertise, talents, ideas, personal goals and passions, so let that flourish. If someone feels taken for granted, unappreciated or overworked, resentment might build up and affect the music and performances. On the other hand, if members of our organizations believe they are valued and appreciated as individuals, they will be amped up to bring positive energy and ideas to the group.  

I’ve always thought that the great rock bands were not afraid to fail. Being an artist means trying new things, iterating, and sometimes throwing away in order to find the one great thing. The creative process is a vulnerable experience. When we’re working as a group to create new material (products) or learn new songs (processes), there will inevitably be moments of imperfection. As leaders we need to encourage experimentation and the idea of failing quickly, to find out what works, or that next hit song. 

Ultimately, it’s up to the leader(s) (remember, I believe everyone is a leader), in concert (you catching my play on words here) with everyone in the organization to visualize, communicate the concepts and determine what needs to be done to materialize that vision.

Are you leading like a rock star?