Wowful Leadership: Merely Living Service, Character, and Presence Every Day

I am excited to share this video with you! It’s only seven minutes long, which research tells us is the ideal length of a keynote for listeners to learn the most from the content. I did this keynote at the Science Center on Harvard University’s campus as part of the London Organization of Skills Development 2026 Skills Live event. This video also serves as a pretty good trailer for my new book, Mere Leadership. You can get the book on Kindle, Audible, paperback, or hardcopy by clicking here. Click here to watch the video.

Click here to watch

Don’t Be A Stranger To Yourself

I love the show Monk. Monk is a comedic mystery television series that followed Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub), a brilliant but obsessive-compulsive detective, as he solved complex crimes while battling his personal phobias and anxieties. The show combined humor with heartfelt moments, showcasing Monk’s unique skills and his quest for normalcy amidst his psychological struggles. While watching an old episode recently, Monk was told, “Don’t be a stranger to yourself.”

“Don’t be a stranger to yourself” means you should stay connected with your true self. We need to be self-aware of our feelings, values, and inner thoughts. Vulnerability, self-awareness, and authenticity are key here to reminding us not to lose touch with who we really are amidst life’s busy or external influences. I like to think of it as maintaining a genuine relationship with ourselves so we can understand and support our own needs and growth.

Being Vulnerable

Gandalf’s words at the end of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Return of the King carry a deep and comforting message. When he said, “Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil” (p. 155), he was acknowledging to Sam, Merry, and Pippin as they said goodbye to Frodo, that tears and grief are natural responses to loss and change. Tears reflect the love and care we feel for others, or just our emotional state at the time. Gandalf recognized that mourning is part of healing and that crying can be a gift. It’s really an expression of the heart’s depth. His words gently reminded us that sadness has a place in our lives and that through our tears, we honor what we have lost and find a path toward acceptance and peace.

As a believer that vulnerability is one of the most underused and underdeveloped leadership attributes, we must recognize our own and others’ emotions. Crying can be a moment of vulnerability that resonates deeply with others. I have blogged about crying before in Tears Give The Courage To Suffer. Emotional transparency fosters trust and authenticity. In my new book, Mere Leadership, I said, “Vulnerability allows leaders to connect with others on a human level, fostering trust and open communication. By acknowledging their limitations and mistakes, leaders create an environment where followers feel safe to express their own vulnerabilities” (p. 72). This is all about understanding ourselves as well as others.

Gandalf was showing his strong emotional validation by recognizing, understanding, and accepting Sam, Merry, and Pippin’s emotional experience in that moment of saying goodbye to Frodo. We can validate emotions by acknowledging both the feeling someone has and the situation that triggered it.

Finding Our Story By Being Significant

I just finished rereading The Return of the King, the third book in The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkien. So, you’re going to have to put up with a couple more posts inspired by this brilliant literary work. The themes of purpose, duty, and fulfillment are deeply intertwined with Tolkien’s characters’ journeys.

In this book Frodo told Sam, “And that will keep you as busy and as happy as anyone can be, as long as your part of the Story goes on” (p. 153). This was at the end when Frodo was preparing to leave the Shire. He was preparing Sam for finishing the work started. He also was reminding us that when someone goes into danger to protect others and make life better for everyone, they give up some of their own comforts. Frodo also told Sam, “It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them” (p. 154). Frodo and Sam’s quest to destroy the One Ring epitomizes the idea that finding a meaningful purpose provides profound fulfillment.

Despite overwhelming challenges, their shared mission gives them strength and resilience. Frodo’s burden is immense, but his sense of duty, which for him is to protect Middle-earth from Sauron’s dominion. This sense of purpose keeps him going. Similarly, Sam’s loyalty and unwavering support uphold his happiness; his role as Frodo’s steadfast companion gives his life significance.

Frodo to Sam highlighted for us the importance of purpose and being actively engaged in something meaningful. Frodo was telling Sam that finding our role and purpose, like others in The Lord of the Rings, is what makes our lives significant. Frodo wanted Sam to understand that as long as he continued to play his part in their shared Story, he would stay busy and happy, because he was contributing to something greater than himself. It’s about the idea that meaningful involvement and a sense of purpose can bring happiness, even amid challenges.

Frodo and Cincinnatus: Heroes of Humility and Service Beyond Glory

Yesterday when I wrote Leading Like Frodo: Frodo’s Quiet Withdrawal considering Frodo’s completion of the quest and fading from the public’s eye, I couldn’t help but think about Cincinnatus. Cincinnatus did not want to lead for power, but to serve. He always returned to the farm after saving Rome twice. At the conclusion of all his service Cincinnatus just wanted to go back to his farm, where he milked his own cows and branded his own calves. He exemplified civic virtue. Cincinnatus accepted authority only when necessary and relinquished it promptly afterward. His leadership exemplified selfless service to the republic, emphasizing that true heroism involves duty without seeking personal glory.

Frodo Baggins, from J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, was a humble hobbit tasked with the enormous responsibility of carrying the One Ring to Mount Doom to destroy it. Frodo was persistent, brave, resilient, and humble. He embodied the virtue of service, willingly bearing a burden for the greater good. Frodo’s journey highlighted themes of sacrifice, perseverance, and humility. Despite the fame and power associated with the Ring, he remained modest and committed to his mission for the sake of others.

Both Frodo and Cincinnatus are archetypes of humble service and sacrifice. Frodo’s journey reflected individual perseverance in the face of great evil, while Cincinnatus’s story underscores civic responsibility and humility in leadership. Neither sought power or recognition; instead, they accepted their burdens out of duty and prioritized the common good. Their stories remind us that genuine heroism often resides in quiet dedication, perseverance through hardship, and humility. Frodo and Cincinnatus had values essential for a just and resilient society.