Finding Fulfillment: The Power of Living with Purpose and Passion
Finding our purpose in life is deeply connected to the idea that meaningful actions and pursuits bring us a sense of fulfillment and peace. J. R. R. Tolkien used the theme of purpose in a lot of his writing. I have blogged about this most recently in Leading With Purpose and Leading With Love, Friendship, Purpose and Conviction. Then in The Silmarillion he had Fëanor say: “For the less even as for the greater there is some deed that he may accomplish but once only; and in that deed his heart shall rest.” The Fëanor quote highlighted the idea that each person has unique, singular deeds. These are usually moments or actions that only that person can perform and which define them and their purpose.
For Fëanor, a character known for his passionate spirit and exceptional craftsmanship, this meant that certain actions or creations are so personal and profound that once they are accomplished, they bring a sense of fulfillment and peace to one’s heart. It emphasized the importance of dedicating oneself fully to those unique moments or deeds that truly resonate with one’s essence, understanding that such significant acts are rare and ultimately bring lasting satisfaction.
When we discover what truly resonates with our inner self, dedicating ourselves fully to those passions or goals gives our lives a sense of direction, significance, and purpose. These purpose-driven moments become rare treasures, leaving a lasting impact on our well-being and happiness. Ultimately, aligning with our purpose helps us experience life’s moments more profoundly, fostering inner contentment and a sense of completeness
Overcoming Envy
J. R. R. Tolkien often used the theme of envy in The Silmarillion to illustrate how destructive and corrosive it can be. Through characters like Melkor (Morgoth) and the tragic fate of the Silmarils, Tolkien showed that envy leads to pride, rebellion, and ultimately ruin.
In The Silmarillion, Tolkien wrote, “…and he did not envy the works of others, but sought and gave counsel. Whereas Melkor spent his spirit in envy and hate, until at last he could make nothing save in mockery of the thought of others, and all their works he destroyed if he could.” Tolkien wanted readers to understand that allowing envy to take hold can distort one’s sense of goodness, lead to conflict, and distance individuals from humility and harmony with others.
It also says in The Silmarillion that, “Melkor’s envy grew then the greater within him; and he also took visible form, but because of his mood and the malice that burned in him that form was dark and terrible.” The overarching message suggests that overcoming envy involves embracing humility, patience, and gratitude, fostering a more peaceful and righteous path.
Truth and Consequences
I loved this statement from my reading in The Silmarillion today: “Long was he at work, and slow at first and barren was his labour. But he that sows lies in the end shall not lack of a harvest, and soon he may rest from toil indeed while others reap and sow in his stead” (emphasis added by me). At first I really had to think about what J. R. R. Tolkien was wanting us to reflect on here. It made me wonder how a person that sows lies has a harvest, but while pondering this I realized the sower of lies does reap what they sow. The statement from The Silmarillion reflects on the nature of actions, particularly those rooted in dishonesty or deception.
It suggests that lying or deceit may initially seem insignificant or easy, but ultimately, there are consequences. “He that sows lies” will inevitably face a harvest of those falsehoods. Over time, this can lead to a form of rest or peace for the deceiver, yet this peace is illusory, as others will eventually reap the results of the lies. The passage emphasizes the idea that dishonest actions can produce a harvest, either of trouble or consequences, and underscores the importance of integrity and truthfulness in our dealings.
Never Hold Back A Rising Star
Many times leaders get upset when people leave their organizations for new positions and greater responsibilities. I’ve always wanted to help those I serve get to where they want to go. It’s a fact when we spend time and resources developing our people, we tend to retain them. This is loving our people. But sometimes those people will leave for other positions and we need to be okay with that. I always want those that do move on to be able to say that having been with me for how ever long made it possible for them to get where they wanted to go.
I was reminded of this while watching an episode of Chicago PD recently. I love the character, Sergeant Hank Voight (Jason Beghe), who in the episode I was watching told Detective Antonio Dawson (Jon Seda) that great leaders “Never hold back a rising star.” Voight told him this after Dawson confronted him about signing off on a promotion. Voight told Dawson he had not signed off on the promotion, but had recommended him for the promotion. Voight recognized Dawson was ready for a position of greater authority and responsibility. Voight was lifting up his rising star. Let’s make sure we are developing everyone for what is next in their careers.
The Leader Who Needs To Be A Hero
Yesterday while I was baling hay I heard a great song by Five Finger Death Punch, Nails In The Coffin. I’m sure I had heard the song before because I really like Five Finger Death Punch, but this time, for some reason, all the lyrics were really resonating with me. Interestingly, when the song was over there was a quick interview with a member of the band on Sirius XM Octane. In the interview it was said that the band loved the song because it could be related to almost any circumstance in life. My thought exactly!
The very first lines of the song really jumped out at me: “There has to be a catastrophe; In everything you say and do; It’s like an urge you need to purge; Until it’s bruised through and through; You turn the knife to make things right” Have you ever experienced a leader that always needed there to be some catastrophe or problem to solve? I have experienced this type of leader and sometimes thought they even created disasters so they could solve them. Sometimes we find ourself in the presence of a leader who needs to be the hero. Many times in this presence, others can’t do their best. The challenge is that during a catastrophe we need the best in each of us.
There is actually a name for the type of leader I am describing: Hero Syndrome. Hero Syndrome, also referred to as Hero Complex, refers to the need, usually of an individual, to look for, create, and solve issues to justify their self-worth. Saving the day fuels this leader’s ego and provides control. This can be dysfunctional and hurt others.
Now, don’t think I am saying that leaders should not solve problems. My point here is for us to keep in mind is that we need to make sure we are not serving as captains of crisis, but as leaders of collaboration, risk mitigation, processes, and cohesive systems.
The Allure Of Superficial Rewards
In his 1951 letter to Milton Waldman, included as part of The Silmarillion, J. R. R. Tolkien said, “Reward on earth is more dangerous for men than punishment!” This comment really stood out to me. It also stood out that he made this a part of his sub-creation of Middle-earth. This reflected his perspective on the allure of worldly success and material rewards. In his letter to Waldman, Tolkien was suggesting that the desire for earthly rewards, such as fame, riches, or status, can be more perilous because it can lead us away from true values, morals, and spiritual fulfillment.
While punishment might serve as a deterrent or correction, the pursuit of superficial rewards can deceive and corrupt an our character, fostering greed, pride, and complacency. Tolkien warned, as we can see in some of the characters of The Lord of the Rings, that the temptations of worldly gain can be more insidious and damaging than punishment because they can subtly lead people astray from a meaningful and morally upright life.
Lead By Guiding Not Bossing
Yesterday I did one of the things I love most: worked with students. Specifically I was working with elementary students. What I’ve learned over the years is, they can be very insightful on leadership. A fourth grader, while having a discussion about helping others, said, “I have learned it is better to guide others than to boss them.” In fact she wrote that on her name tent (see featured photo). This was quite the drop-the-mic moment. This young scholar gets a leadership attribute that some adults have trouble with. She went on to say that, “Others don’t like it when I’m bossy; they want me to help them.” More great insight!
I love the insights of young people. Her experience reminded us it is more effective and respectful to lead or mentor people by offering support, advice, encouragement, and help rather than simply giving orders or controlling them. Guiding involves inspiring and helping others grow, fostering cooperation and trust, whereas bossing may create resistance or resentment. I like to think of this as coming alongside others, shoulder-to-shoulder, and helping. Essentially, it emphasizes the value of leadership through understanding and collaboration rather than authority and commands.
Wowful Leadership: Merely Living Service, Character, and Presence Every Day
I am excited to share this video with you! It’s only seven minutes long, which research tells us is the ideal length of a keynote for listeners to learn the most from the content. I did this keynote at the Science Center on Harvard University’s campus as part of the London Organization of Skills Development 2026 Skills Live event. This video also serves as a pretty good trailer for my new book, Mere Leadership. You can get the book on Kindle, Audible, paperback, or hardcopy by clicking here. Click here to watch the video.
Don’t Be A Stranger To Yourself
I love the show Monk. Monk is a comedic mystery television series that followed Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub), a brilliant but obsessive-compulsive detective, as he solved complex crimes while battling his personal phobias and anxieties. The show combined humor with heartfelt moments, showcasing Monk’s unique skills and his quest for normalcy amidst his psychological struggles. While watching an old episode recently, Monk was told, “Don’t be a stranger to yourself.”
“Don’t be a stranger to yourself” means you should stay connected with your true self. We need to be self-aware of our feelings, values, and inner thoughts. Vulnerability, self-awareness, and authenticity are key here to reminding us not to lose touch with who we really are amidst life’s busy or external influences. I like to think of it as maintaining a genuine relationship with ourselves so we can understand and support our own needs and growth.
Being Vulnerable
Gandalf’s words at the end of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Return of the King carry a deep and comforting message. When he said, “Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil” (p. 155), he was acknowledging to Sam, Merry, and Pippin as they said goodbye to Frodo, that tears and grief are natural responses to loss and change. Tears reflect the love and care we feel for others, or just our emotional state at the time. Gandalf recognized that mourning is part of healing and that crying can be a gift. It’s really an expression of the heart’s depth. His words gently reminded us that sadness has a place in our lives and that through our tears, we honor what we have lost and find a path toward acceptance and peace.
As a believer that vulnerability is one of the most underused and underdeveloped leadership attributes, we must recognize our own and others’ emotions. Crying can be a moment of vulnerability that resonates deeply with others. I have blogged about crying before in Tears Give The Courage To Suffer. Emotional transparency fosters trust and authenticity. In my new book, Mere Leadership, I said, “Vulnerability allows leaders to connect with others on a human level, fostering trust and open communication. By acknowledging their limitations and mistakes, leaders create an environment where followers feel safe to express their own vulnerabilities” (p. 72). This is all about understanding ourselves as well as others.
Gandalf was showing his strong emotional validation by recognizing, understanding, and accepting Sam, Merry, and Pippin’s emotional experience in that moment of saying goodbye to Frodo. We can validate emotions by acknowledging both the feeling someone has and the situation that triggered it.
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