Byron's Babbles

As C. S. Lewis put it in Surprised By Joy: The Shape Of My Early Life, “The distinction is not unimportant.” He was referring to the distinction between being selfish or being self-centered. He preferred being selfish over self-centered. In fact I believe he was really on to what we now talk about being self care. Being selfish and being self-centered are not interchangeable. Lewis discussed that to find joy we need to have some selfishness. We need to prioritize our own needs, desires, and interests. These are the things I talk about when discussing self-care. This includes setting up the boundaries in a working relationship. The self-centered leader wants us to give up our personal priorities to make themselves look good. Is it selfish to not take emails after 5:00? Probably, but probably good for your well-being and your family’s well-being. Does it mean you are selfish if you may have to give up some of the above and beyond things you do as a great school principal during the next year to spend time finishing your dissertation for your PhD? Yes, but there is no way that milestone in your life will be met otherwise. These are completely acceptable forms of selfishness.

Conversely, being self-centered means having an excessive focus on oneself, often accompanied by a lack of interest or concern for others. This is the person that always needs to be in the limelight. It involves being preoccupied with one’s own thoughts, concerns, and desires, disregarding the needs and perspectives of others. Lewis explained that the self-centered person can never find joy. A self-centered person wants to hear about themselves. This person will constantly steer conversations towards themselves or dominate social situations without regard for others’ interests or feelings. The self-centered person is also unwilling to share or compromise.

I’m glad that in Surprised By Joy: The Shape Of My Early Life C. S. Lewis caused me to contemplate this difference between being selfish and being self-centered. The selfish person can have a healthy focus on himself versus the self-centered person’s complete disregard for others’ well-being and perspectives. This distinction is not unimportant. We must care for ourselves and make sure we are prioritizing our own needs and desires.

In A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis said, “Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.” This really jumped off the page at me. Lewis used the metaphor of easily believing a rope could support and save you until you actually needed the rope to support your weight – then doubt sets in. This was a reminder to me that in order to truly understand the validity or truthfulness of a belief, one must be willing to take risks and put that belief to the test. It suggests that simply believing something without any real-world experience or evidence is not enough to determine its truth. Only by facing the consequences of a belief can we truly evaluate the reality or accuracy of a belief.

Another thing I learned from Lewis in this book is that it is okay to question our beliefs. Ultimately, this can make our beliefs stronger. Lewis’ questioning of his own faith and beliefs at the time of losing his wife did not mean he was going to change his beliefs. This curiosity about our own beliefs can be healthy in helping us understand how we came to have a certain belief. It can also help us to understand others’ beliefs. By educating ourselves on issues we can better understand our our beliefs and the origins of those beliefs.

In C.S. Lewis: A Life: Eccentric Genius, Reluctant Profit, by Alister E. McGrath, we are told that C.S. Lewis believed “imaginative” and “imaginary” are two very different things. Imaginative relates to the creative capacity of a person, while imaginary pertains to things that are fictional or nonexistent in reality. There really is a difference and the two terms deserve to be considered.

Imaginative refers to someone’s ability or tendency to imagine, create, or come up with new ideas, concepts, or images. It is often associated with creativity, originality, and the ability to think outside the box. For example, a person with an imaginative mind may be able to envision new possibilities or solutions to problems.

On the other hand, imaginary refers to something that exists only in the imagination or fantasy, and not in reality. It describes things that are not real or tangible, but are created or perceived in the mind. As examples, imaginary friends, creatures, or places are figments of the imagination and do not exist in the physical world.

I am continuing my study of C.S. Lewis by reading the great biography, C.S. Lewis: A Life: Eccentric Genius, Reluctant Profit by Alister E. McGrath. Already, I am taking lots of notes and finding tidbits for further study and reflection. McGrath’s research and approach is amazing. One description that McGrath gave of Lewis was him being “distant from the center, working at the margins.” As a person that has sometimes been described as operating distant from center this really resonated with me. It is amazing to be learning Lewis’ challenges with this and how he used this to his advantage to be significant, even in the 60 years since his death. By the way; Lewis died the year I was born and on the same day John F. Kennedy was assassinated – 1963.

When someone is said to be “distant from the center, working at the margins,” it means that they are not part of the mainstream or core group. They may be on the outskirts or periphery, working on less prominent or influential tasks or projects. This phrase often implies that the person is not directly involved in decision-making or holding a position of high authority or influence within an organization or community.

A person who is “distant from the center, working at the margins” are significant to society in several ways. First, they may have unique perspectives and ideas that can contribute to problem-solving and innovation. Their distance from the center may provide them with a different viewpoint or allow them to see opportunities that others may overlook. I certainly believe this was the case with C.S. Lewis.

Additionally, these distant from the center individuals are able to focus on specific tasks or projects that are crucial but less visible to those in decision-making roles. As leaders, we need to make sure we are empowering all those we serve to excel in their area of expertise, so they can make a meaningful impact and support the overall goals of the organization or community.

Furthermore, individuals working at the margins often have a deep understanding of the challenges and needs of those who are more directly affected by certain issues. Their proximity to these marginalized communities or areas can enable them to advocate for change and champion initiatives that benefit the underrepresented. I definitely believe this was the case with Lewis and why he was such a sought-after speaker. It is also interesting to me how many wrote to him – and he responded.

Ultimately, being distant from the center does not diminish the significance of a person’s contributions. It merely highlights their unique role and the potential they have to create positive change, even if it is not in a position of high authority or influence. Thank goodness there are those of us who are “distant from the center, working at the margins.”

Next, I want to explore some strategies that individuals at the center can employ to ensure they are not overlooking the valuable perspectives and ideas of those working at the margins. Also, I want to reflect on how individuals who are distant from the center effectively communicate their ideas and contributions to those at the center. Any thoughts?