5 Ways to Stop Thieves from Stealing Your Happiness
I am so excited to bring you this guest post from Dr. John Izzo. Learn in this post 5 Ways to Stop Thieves from Stealing Your Happiness.
Most self-help literature makes it seem like happiness is a very elusive thing, something we must work very hard to achieve. It is my contention that happiness is our natural state. The child’s natural smile and the calm of sleep are metaphors for the happiness which is already ours. We don’t need to seek it as much as we need to get out of its way.
It is my suggestion that there are five thieves that rob us of our happiness. A thief is someone who takes away something that is already yours. In the case of happiness, the thieves are thought patterns and internal filters through which we see the world in a distorted way. They cloud our view of what is true and natural.
The five thieves are control, conceit, coveting, consumption, and comfort.
Control
The first thief is control, the desire to control the outcomes of our life and for things to be different. Happiness is knowing what we can control and accepting what we cannot control. At the most basic level, happiness comes from understanding that we can control our actions and our responses to things external to us, but we cannot control the results of our actions. Focusing on our actions brings happiness; focusing on the result of our actions brings unhappiness. All suffering is resistance to whatever is at any moment.
How to stop the thief:
In each moment surrender to whatever is happening. Control and influence what you can while choosing to accept whatever is at that moment. Accept the hard truths about life.
Remember that it is the craving for things to be different, not the circumstance that robs you of happiness.
Conceit
Conceit is perhaps the single greatest barrier to true contentment and even societal well-being. Conceit if a focus on your small self, on trying to find happiness separate from all other people and things as opposed to in the experience of being one. Another word for this thief is ego. Happiness comes from serving and getting lost in something outside yourself.
How to stop the thief:
Whenever you find yourself obsessing about the story of your life, remind yourself that you are already a part of a larger story. The thief wants you sitting around, staring at your reflection, but there is no happiness to be found there. Building an equitable world that works for all is part of this, if not for moral reasons than for practical ones. Only when all prosper can we all be truly safe and happy.
Coveting
Coveting is the third thief and comes disguised as something harmless or even ambitious in some productive way. What could be wrong with wanting to have something you don’t yet possess? Is not desire for something the very source of moving forward in life? The opposite of coveting is to be in a place of gratitude. Coveting also keeps us from celebrating for others because life becomes a comparison.
How to stop the thief:
Whenever you find yourself asking the mirror on the wall of your subconscious how you compare with others, remember that it is the thief speaking to you. It is lying when it tells that you that life is a contest rather than a journey. Ask instead: Am I being my best self? Also, practice gratitude through daily journaling or simply taking a few minutes to identify three things that you are grateful in that day and one in your life. Each day choose another person and write down three things you want to celebrate for them.
Consumption
Consumption tells us that there is something outside ourselves that we need to achieve happiness, and it tries to hide from us the truth that we can choose it at any moment. Intuitively, of course, we all know that happiness cannot come from consumption of something because we all know people who appear to “have it all” but are consistently discontent, as well as people who have “next to nothing” and appear to be quite happy. This thief is like a thirsty person with a large bottle of good fresh water but a hole in their throat.
How to stop the thief:
Whenever you find yourself saying, I will be happy when…or I will be happy if…, stop these thoughts and come back into the inner house where happiness is found. Focus on the choice to be happy now. Challenge the consumer in yourself. Whenever you are tempted to buy something, ask yourself if it will bring any real happiness. The thing itself is not a problem; the belief that it will bring happiness is the issue.
Comfort
The final thief—comfort—is an insidious one. In fact, at first glance it may even appear as a source of happiness rather than a barrier to it. This thief is like a lethargic person on the sofa, TV remote in hand. It wants us to stay on the same channel, in the same comfortable position, stuck in a routine that is not life giving. It does not care about the consequences of this routine, even if the channel we are on is no longer of interest to us or serving our higher needs.
How to stop the thief:
Make a commitment to try one or two new things every week. Vary your routines, from taking a new route on your daily walk to a different dating experience with your partner on a Friday night. Try new areas of learning—it is good for both your mental and physical health. Notice the core comfort patterns of your life. What have you carried from your past that is no longer adaptive to your life today? Identify an important pattern, and take two months to work on noticing how it shows up, then choose to ride in another direction.
Take The Five Thieves of Happiness quiz to find out what thief is robbing your happiness.
Dr John Izzo is a corporate advisor, a frequent speaker and the bestselling author of seven books including the international bestsellers Awakening Corporate Soul, Values Shift, The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, and Stepping Up. His latest book is The Five Thieves of Happiness.
Over the last twenty years he has spoken to over one million people, taught at two major universities, advised over 500 organizations and is frequently featured in the media by the likes of Fast Company, PBS, CBC, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, and INC Magazine.
Twitter: @drjohnizzo
LinkedIn: Dr. John Izzo
I Promise
A signed copy of the promise pictured here sits in the locker of each Florida State player. After an awful start to Florida State’s season this past year, head coach Jimbo Fisher took an unprecedented step and presented his team with a promise and challenged them to sign it and live up to it.
As I read it I was struck by the simplistic way coach Fisher presented powerful points. It is really a well written combination of a mission and core values to follow. Here are the main points I take away:
- The commitment of “I promise to”
- No loafing
- Effort
- Trust the process
- Preparation
- Effort and enthusiasm in every play, every day
- Pride
- Allow myself to be corrected and coached
Just eight powerful points, but what a change in the season this battle cry brought about. The next game after the players signed the promise was a win against in-state rival Miami Hurricanes. Florida State won 20-19. “You cannot say that they did not play hard, that they did not play with fight, that they did not play with guts,” Jimbo Fisher said after the win. “We’re a work in progress but at least that heart and soul is there.” I am particularly struck by the point of “Allowing myself to be corrected and coached.” This is so important to all of us. We must continue to grow and develop each and every day.
On a day when everyone make New Year’a resolutions, I wander what would happen if we all just adjusted the promise to our own lives and then actually kept it; just like the Florida State Seminoles. Would you be willing to sign and hang in your locker?
Happy New Year!
Leading Like Santa
It would be no picnic having to be Santa every day, especially wearing the same itchy red wool suit every day. Try it sometime. I have, as I make a pretty good Santa if I do say so myself. Yet Santa Claus pulls it off, year after year.
Santa has set some great examples of sound leadership for us to follow. Here are some Santa leadership traits that I have reflected on after encountering Santa Claus during a recent visit with him at Conner Prairie Interactive History Park. We’d all do well to emulate these skills in our everyday lives as leaders.
Here’s a list of dispositions I witnessed first hand while both watching him interact with the children and my own experience sitting on his lap. Yes, that’s right, I talked to the big guy myself – and asked for Legos (there is a picture in this post to prove it). There is just no warmer feeling than getting a hug from Santa while sitting on his lap.
- Santa takes time to connect and get to know every child, young and old.
- Santa cared about what my wants and needs were.
- Santa communicates well with everyone. By communicating well, I mean he practices deep listening. Those sitting on his lap do most of the talking and he asks questions instead of offering up solutions.
- Santa clearly loves what he does and let’s it show.
- Santa is believable. Over time, millions of people have put their faith in Santa — even Virginia. Good leaders do the right things consistently. Do your team members believe in you?
- Santa is sensitive to others. Santa is aware of customs and cultures around the world and makes sure that he addresses those cultures and customs. Do you do the same thing?
- Santa never forgets his impact. Santa has the ability to change peoples’ lives. I’ve never forgotten the wonder at coming home from church as a youngster and seeing presents from Santa under our tree. I’ve never forgotten those leaders in my life who took time from their schedules to coach and mentor me. Know that you have the ability to impact others – positively or negatively – it’s your choice.
- Santa asks for feedback. Santa could never get it right if he didn’t ask others for feedback.
- Santa doesn’t make promises he can’t keep. Have you noticed, he doesn’t comit to anything that is not for sure going to happen. He is even so honest that he tells us there will be surprises – and we are always excited about it. Unlike leaders who make ludicrous comments/commitments like “I’m 99% sure this or that will happen.” What does that even mean? How do these leaders calculate 99%? Why do leaders want to have to backtrack when the so called 1% chance happens? Bottom line: Santa does not do that.
- Santa is accessible to everyone. Think about it, Santa Claus spends weeks sitting in shopping centers and appearing in parades in the month leading up to Christmas. Wouldn’t this, in reality, be when Santa is at his busiest getting things done in the North Pole? Santa understands the value of spending time with those that he serves. Getting to know them and putting them first with his time helps Santa to understand people’s needs and serve them better.
- Santa is clearly a giver not a taker. Santa lives to serve others. Rumor has it that Santa does enjoy a tall glass of Jersey (just had to throw that in) milk and sugar cookie, but essentially we all know Santa as the person who gives and gives. We love Santa because somehow he knows exactly what we would like and very often provides it for us. Clearly, Santa does not exist for his own sake, but for the sake of the millions of children that will benefit from his giving. Boy, can we learn something from that. I
No matter how old you are, Santa Claus can put a sparkle in your eyes too. He has some amazing leadership traits that we should all pay attention to. What would you add to this list? Please leave me a comment and let me know what to have observed.
Leadership Ink
Regardless of your position on this topic, “inking” is in. What I’m talking about is tattooing. The interest of young and old in getting a tattoo is increasing. Many of our heroes have ink and we maybe want one too. Amazingly, 25% of those getting tattoos regret it within the first month of getting the tattoo. Now, to be clear, I don’t really think I want a tattoo right now, but I do have a temporary tattoo that won’t seem to go away. Let me tell you the story.
This past weekend we used Emojis as a “through line” for our Focused Leader Academy (FLA) December retreat. The first activity we did had participants pick an Emoji temporary tattoo and put it somewhere on their body. Check out the picture of the sheet of available tattoos. The catch was, you needed to explain why you picked the tattoo you did and the significance of where you placed the ink on your body. Needless to say, we had a lot of fun with this.
This was an exciting and inspiring activity. The explanations were very well thought out. Some were comical, while at the same time being very meaningful and heartfelt. I am hoping our Cohort #2 FLA members will reply to this post with their stories. Here’s mine:
“I chose to put the two pink hearts Emoji on the inside of my right wrist. I explained this was because I love FLA and love facilitating the learning of our teacher leaders. In the words of Cohort # 1 graduate, Jill Landers, these weekend retreats are Byron’s “leadership heroine.” She’s right; I’m addicted. Furthermore, I placed the tattoo on the inside of my wrist because by personally working with our teacher leaders it helps me keep a pulse on what is going on with our teachers.” ~ Byron
Now, here we are almost a week later and my temporary tattoo looks just as good as on the day I applied it. At first I got a little concerned, but I have gotten used to it and actually really like it. I keep getting questions about it. Questions like the one at the state board of education meeting this week, “Byron, do you really have a tattoo of two pink hearts on your wrist?” These questions give me the chance to say “Why yes. Let me tell you why and about the journey our teacher leaders are taking through our Focused Leader Academy.”
So, if you were going to get some first time, or new, leadership ink; what would your tattoo be and why?
Emojis…Creative or Lazy?
Here is the sixth and final guest post in this series on Emojis from our top teacher leaders. It has been exciting to bring you a new post every day this week from these talented individuals. The goal was for this cohort of our Focused Leader Academy to experience the thrill of putting content out there for anyone and everyone to read in the form of a blog post. They explained that it was a little scary and intimidating to put thoughts out there for others to critique. The biggest question our reluctant bloggers were asking was “Will I be clever?” While, yes, there is a certain amount of vulnerability, blogs can enable self growth, serve as a journal, and most importantly to me – serve as a library of personal thoughts, research, and lessons learned. I go to the archive of my posts often to get information from the past that I have documented in my blog. Blogs are an incredible leadership tool for your organization’s to know about you as the leader, but I believe blogs are most valuable as a personal tool.
Check out this awesome post by Ann Semon and Aimee Campbell:
Emojis…Creative or Lazy?
“People who use emojis are too stupid to communicate with actual vocabulary.” This was a quote we saw on the internet, which sparked controversy. Are emojis stupid? Do people use them as a cop-out for thinking OR as an alternate way of communication? The way people communicate in 2016 come in various forms of email, text, tweets, etc. Does this mean we are dumbed down or actually more innovative and creative? It’s your choice.
Benefits:
Courtney Seiter says, “Scientists have discovered that when we look at smiley faces online, the same parts of the brain are activated as when we look at a real human face.” She goes on to say that emojis replace the tone of voice you would hear in typical conversation, thus creating an online version of empathy. When you communicate with emojis, are you using them as a tool to express emotions or as a symbol to replace real vocabulary? Right brained people tend to take a more artistic approach to communication, and like to be shown rather than told. Right brained people also prefer to draw rather than write which may lead us to believe, if you use emojis, you might have right brained tendencies.
Symbolism is often used in things like poetry and art. Emojis are essentially a picture that represent words…so could be considered an art form. For example, silent movies can be enjoyable because you get to interpret the story being told. Pictures books are another simpler form of using symbolism for story-telling purposes…could emojis be the same?
Hindrances:
Left brained people tend to be more detailed and use words rather than pictures. They often find it easier to read things that are straight forward rather than vague. With this being said, a left brained person may find it inappropriate to use these vague pictures to represent specific information, especially if it a message that should not be up for interpretation.
In an online environment, sometimes emojis can be misinterpreted. The simple mistake of a winking emoji in place of the regular smiling emoji may lead people to think you know something they don’t. This could lead to over-analyzing and misinterpreting a simple statement. Emotions are complex things and people can have a differing view on what an emoji could symbolize. General Motors actually introduced a publication in all emojis which caused confusion and intrigue. Some people may interpret this as a positive or a negative public relations move. It can also cause a gap of communication between generations. For example, in my personal life, an older family member used the “laugh so hard you cry” emoji with a post on Facebook about a death in the family. They assumed the tears were sad tears, thus causing major confusion and miscommunication.
In conclusion, do you find yourself relating more to the benefits or hindrances? If you associate more with benefits…you might just be a right brained person. If you tend to agree more with hindrances, you might be a left brained person. Maybe you’re in the middle, and find it depends on the situation. In the end, it’s all about the audience and getting across the message you’re trying to convey. However you choose to communicate, make sure it’s effective.
Emoji: To Use or Not to Use?
So, here is the fifth of six guest posts from our Focused Leader Academy teacher leaders. If you take a look at the parts of a good blog post we created I believe you will see that Brenda Culbertson and Amanda Case have connected with readers by finding a great hook, have included visuals, and told a story that you, as the reader, can use. Take a minute and check our their view on Emojis.
Mike Fleisch Graph
Emoji: To Use or Not to Use?
Let’s eat, Grandma.
Let’s eat Grandma!
Just like punctuation, Emojis can change the meaning of a sentence. The meaning can be changed for the better or the worse. There is a strong benefit and hindrance to using emojis in written language. The hindrance is that emojis can be misinterpreted and the benefit is that emojis can aid in the tone of the intended message.
Hindrance
Emojis can be misinterpreted when something as simple as 😉 is used. This can be a symbol of an inside joke or a flirtation. The problem is the person on the receiving may take it the opposite way you wanted them to…creating a “pinch”. Should you have used the emoji in the first place?
Benefit
The most evident benefit is that the symbol can add to the tone of your message so that the receiver reads the message as you meant. For example, in a message that seems flat, a smiley face can add a tone of happiness. Can the emoji add an emphasis to your tone?
Emojis are here to stay regardless of whether you think they are a benefit or hindrance in your communication. You need to ask yourself, does the emoji help or hurt my message?
Brenda and Amanda
Emoji Exploji
So pumped to be bringing you the fourth of six guest posts from teacher leader participants in our Focused Leader Academy. These posts are a result of a session on blogging. No powerpoints or lists of to-dos, just co-creation of a blog post by pairs of our teacher leaders. They even created the stickers pictured at the beginning of the posts with an Emoji maker. Remember, our essential question always is “What can we create together?” Enjoy this post from Kris Phillips and Berry Wells:
Emoji Exploji
Before, you had to worry about students dropping an “F bomb”. Just wait until you get an “Emoji Exploji” in your classroom! For better or for worse, emojis have exploded in our culture. Now we must choose to embrace or reject them. 
😀What are the benefits of emojis in the classroom?
• Engage students
• Popular
• Expressive
• Fast & Fun
• Easy pulse check
😕What are the drawbacks of emojis in the classroom?
• Overused
• Can be distracting
• Discourages language use
• Can be misinterpreted
• Can be inappropriate
• Can be offensive
Regardless of your personal opinion, emojis are a form of communication, and they are here to stay. The question is will you embrace society’s infatuation with this trend, or will you reject the idiocracy of the emoji exploji? The choice is yours. 😜
Top 7 Benefits of Emojis in the Classroom
Here is the third of six guest posts submitted by our teacher leaders as part of our Focused Leader Academy this past weekend. Jena Davis and Liz Breeden decided to take the angle of how to use Emojis in the classroom. Blogging certainly takes some individuals outside of their comfort zone, including Jena and Liz. But, by working together and doing a fast creation using the “through line” of Emojis that we had been working with all day, they were able to author a great post. Here is Jena and Liz’s creation:
Smiley face! Frowny face! Heart! Emojis are everywhere. Do they help or hinder in the classroom? Used correctly, emojis can be beneficial in education. Emojis offer another method of communication between students and teachers.
1. Communication feeling or emotion: emojis can communicate feelings or emotions of students to teachers. Students who may not know the words to associate with their feelings may be able to communicate those feelings through the use of an emoji instead.
2. Visual: emojis are a graphic and visual representation of thoughts and feelings. Students are often visual learners and drawn to such representations.
3. Engaging: emojis are a way for students to engage with one another, or even with the teacher, in the classroom. Students can share thoughts and feelings with one another.
4. Check for Understanding: teachers can use an emoji to check for understanding or a student’s feeling or attitude about a particular topic.
5. Quick and Easy: emojis are a quick check and easy to use for both students and teachers.
6. Variety: there are a variety of emojis to choose from when making a selection. Students may be able to find and communicate something for which they don’t have the vocabulary to communicate.
7. Icebreaker: emojis can be used to ease the awkwardness of an uncomfortable moment or message.
How can YOU use emojis to communicate with YOUR students in a positive way?
How Do You Emoji?
This is the second of six great guest blog posts from the teacher leaders in our Focused Leader Academy. These guest posts are a result of a session yesterday on blogging as a leadership tool. We had been using the “through line” (a theme or idea that runs from the beginning to the end of one of our design sprints that has a connecting theme or plot) of Emojis, so it made sense to have the prompt of: Emojis: Benefit or Hindrance? Participants paired up and proceeded to write a blog post kowing I would be posting it as a guest post. 
Graphic by Mike Fleisch
Enjoy Kristen and Lisa’s post:
Pick up your phone and take a look at the last emoji you used. What is it and what could it mean? My last emoji was 😬 in a tweet that reads “Don’t let perfection get in the way of a good blog 😬.”
An emoji can be beneficial or can be a hindrance. Here are our top 5 pluses and deltas of using an emoji:
- Supportive/Inspirational-Whether it be 😘 or a 👍 these simple gestures can provide support to a friend in need.
- Clarifying- An emoji can quickly add to and create the tone of the conversation.
- Telling-Did you know that Siri reads emoji’s as exactly what they are? Take for example when your teenage daughter says to Siri “Call Caleb.” And Siri responds with “Calling Caleb fire, beating heart, face blowing kiss.” 🔥, 💕, 😘. That real life situation was very telling for my husband when he overheard our teenage daughter calling her boyfriend.
- Misinterpreted-Could your emoji actually be a pinch to your reader? Have you ever gotten an unexplained winky face? 😜
- Unprofessional/inappropriate-There is a time and a place for an emoji and its probably not in the work place.
So choose your emojis wisely. ☺
Emojis: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly
I am super excited to post the first of six guest posts from participants of the current cohort of our Focused Leader Academy. The other five will come each day for the next five days. The authors of this first guest post are Carlie Coblentz and Brandon Johnson. Today, at our monthly Design Sprint (what others call professional development) we used Emojis to facilitate our learning. Part of our time was spent on how to create a great blog post. I really wanted to stress the use of blogging as a leadership tool. As is our custom in our design sprints, we split into pods and the question of “What can we create together?” was answered by the creation of six blog posts about the use of emojis. The prompt for this creation was: Emojis: Benefit or Hindrance. The pods of two then worked to create a guest blog post for me to post.
Of course we couldn’t just stop there. Participants also used our Emoji Maker kits to create Emoji stickers that represented their blog post. A picture of Carlie and Brandon’s sticker is at the beginning of this post. I am very proud of the posts that were written today and am excited to share them with you over the next six days. I have also included the graphic created by Mike Fleisch during our blogging session. Take a look at the graphic. Hopefully you will find some useful tips for your blog posts as well.
Here is Carlie’s and Brandon guest post:
The 👍, the 👎, and the 👺 of Emojis
Take a moment and think about the last time you used an emoji. These silly little characters have become very popular in the past couple of years. They can be used to quickly express many different types of emotions with friends and family. But, there are times that they can be a hindrance. Here’s a list of pros and cons of Emojis:
Pros
- Fun 🎉
- Engaging 👀
- Unique way of expression🦄
- Quick ⚡️
We could probably agree that Emojis can be a very fun and engaging way to communicate. You’re able to express your feelings with people without the usual long, drawn out stories.
Cons
- Takes away reading and writing skills 📝
- Limits communication🗣
- Misinterpretation 🤔
- Not appropriate in some situations 🤐
On the contrary, Emojis are very similar to what would be considered “text-talk.” They do not always communicate exactly what you’re trying to say, and sometimes, they could be misunderstood by the recipient, causing confusion and frustration.
What would you consider to be the 👍, the 👎, and the 👺 of Emojis?
Byron's Babbles 
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