Byron's Babbles

Try Calling In

Posted in Civilized Disdain, Discourse, Educational Leadership, Global Leadership, Leadership, Leadership Development by Dr. Byron L. Ernest on February 28, 2022

I was so happy to see “New” pop up on the television in the description for The Equalizer last night. I love the show. Delilah (Laya DeLeon Hayes), Robin McCall’s (Queen Latifah) daughter, had called out one of her school friends over a question of family heritage. In a discussion with Delilah, Viola “Vi” Marsette (Lorraine Toussaint) told Delilah that instead of calling her friend out, she should try calling her in. We really have become a call-out culture and taken conversations that should be opportunities to inquire and learn and turned them into mud slinging or even worse. Some are even referring to this as the “calling out culture.” It has become so easy to call-out others on social media, television media, YouTube, or other message boards. It is even curious to me how brazen people have gotten at calling others out in public.

To me, “calling in” would be would be the more loving way to have a difficult conversation. And, when we can, how about doing it in private and with respect? Calling in could take us from blame to contribution. As a participant in a leadership development gathering I facilitated this weekend pointed out, we need to listen to hear. Calling in helps us to do just that – hear. In most cases, calling someone out has become trivial, oriented toward turf protection, and despicable. This verbal “trashing” reminds me of what I believe the Ancient Greeks called an “ad hominem” attack. With this attack, the opponent attacks us personally, changes the subject, and uses “virtue signaling”. I blogged about virtue signaling in Leading Without “Virtue Signaling”. So, let’s call others in and make sure we are listening to hear and understand.


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