The First Quarter Of An Incredible Year of Reading
As I begin to reflect on 2020, even on Day 279 of the Global Pandemic, I must say it has been an incredible year of reading. As of today I have finished 115 books and must say that these books have caused a great reflection and further research. I have learned so much from the books I have read and have written many blog posts inspired by the learning. Each year, and this year is no exception, I always get asked what my favorite book I read was, my top books of the year, or which books I would recommend. This is really tough because no one will ever let me off the hook with me saying, “All of them!”
Last year I did a post Best Books of 2019 to answer the question of my favorite books from the year. This year I am going to do it a little differently. I am going to do five posts over the last days of 2020 highlighting all the posts that were inspired by books that I read in 2020, and then a final post of the year naming my top five. Hopefully, this will make it easy for you to take a look at the inspirations and learning provided by a few of the books I have read this year. So, here we go for the first quarter of 2020:
January, 2020
Every Day We Are Making Memories
“Remember, Freedom Is Yours Until You Give It Up”
“It Has Been An Honor To Live This Life”
When Purpose & Passion Turn Into Ambition
Empowerment Triggers The Approach System
366 Page Best Selling Autobiography
February, 2020
Arguing The Value Of Our Experiences Is Futile
A Time To Fish & A Time To Mend Nets
March, 2020
Influencer, Inspiring, & Impactful
The Nuanced Context Of The Great Society
Reflective Culture Gut Checks: A Five Star Review
Some pretty great inspiration from the first three months of 2020, wouldn’t you say? I’ll get the second quarter compiled and posted soon.
If Only We Would Just Ask
Have you ever complained about something? I know. Stupid question, right? We have all complained about something. Many times a complaint is an unspoken request. Additionally, when we don’t ask for what we want we tend to complain about our needs not getting met. I guess as much as we complain, we must not be very good at asking for what we want. I also believe it to be much more complicated than this, however. When we ask for what we want we make ourselves vulnerable to being turned down or judged negatively for our request. Sometimes people don’t ask because they do not believe they really deserve what they are asking for.
Let’s think about this from a case study perspective. Let’s say I like running through the television channels a time or two. Or three. Or four. It seems my wife is not into that as much as I am. Now, my wife could complain about me, or she could ask me to stop doing that. Did you catch that? If only we’d just ask! Remember, many times a complaint is an unspoken request. We also need to make sure we are paying attention to what it is that makes others complain as well. Also, don’t forget, we are generally much better at listening to ourselves than others.
This very subject was the topic of Chapter 16 entitled “Work On Yourself” in Mindset Mondays With DTK by David Taylor-Klaus (DTK). I loved that he quoted one of my favorite presidents when he said, “If leading is the ultimate responsibility, then it makes sense to start by improving yourself, and working on yourself even harder than you work on your business. As Harry Truman said, ‘The buck stops here'” (p. 134). What does this mean? We need to express what DTK calls the “dream behind the complaint.” The buck stopping with us begins with us expressing what we need to have changed or done. Again, if only we’d just ask!
A Great Unknown
David Taylor-Klaus (DTK) used the smoothing of a rock under a waterfall over a period of time as the metaphor in Chapter 15, Define Yourself, in Mindset Mondays with DTK. He wrote, “Just as it is in nature, there’s no escaping the fact that your human experiences shape who you are.” He went on to say, “Yet you neither become nor are defined by the events that impact you.” DTK’s metaphor made me think of the beach and ocean. Beaches are constantly changing. Tides and weather can alter beaches every day, bringing new materials and taking away others.
Even though a beach is constantly changing (just like us) every beach has a beach profile. A beach profile describes the landscape of the beach, both above the water and below it. We, like the beach, all have a profile that the events of our lives do not have to define. While ever rolling in a constant rhythm of ebb and flow, each wave, day, and week is different. No matter the changes, the beach is always beautiful – just like us.
We never know what we are going to encounter. Just like the beach has new weather and tidal patterns in its future, we have an unfamiliar element, perhaps a great unknown. But, it’s only by encountering the unknown that we can learn, grow, and experience adventure.
Build Great Things Anyway
I had a chance meeting of a professional sandcastle builder and teacher of sandcastle making this week. First of all, I did not know there was such a thing. Secondly, I didn’t do much sandcastle building in my childhood, so I was fascinated to discuss the art of sandcastle building. Really, I hadn’t thought much about the fact there are different kinds of sand. Bottom-line: lots of new things going through my mind.
There are three main rules for sandcastle building:
- Always use wet (sloppy) sand (no such thing as too much water)
- Always form shapes using a pyramid – larger at the base – thinner at the top
- When all the formed sand is completed work from the top to the bottom
Other pieces of advice were to build on a big mound. This enables sand to fall down and away from the sandcastle as you are carving. And, it makes it up higher and easier to work on. Besides buckets of sand and water, the tools are pretty basic. You use simple tools (like a straw, a pencil, and a metal cutting device) to chisel it starting from the top.
The rule that was stressed over and over was working from the top down. If you work from the bottom up, the pieces from the top will tumble down onto the bottom, thus flawing your previous work. This is a lot like leadership in an organization. If the leader is a tyrannical monster all the trash falls down on the people doing the work getting marred and ruined. Thus, the flatter the organization the better, or at least the leader needs to already be chiseled and refined so all the chaff and sand isn’t ruining those below. But remember, if there are no “those below” in an organization, no worries.
I love that there are people helping kids learn to build sandcastles. When children play and create in the outer world, simultaneously they also create and learn in the inner world. We adults know change is coming when we build sandcastles but we encourage kids to build something great anyway. In our schools and classrooms, this is a valuable lesson. It’s also an important lesson for leaders to remember. Change comes, colleagues come and go, new research is discovered with the ebb and flow of the waves ever coming and going, and the tide is ever shifting. Build great things anyway.
Waves Of Change
“Sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true direction”
Unknown
As I read this quote I thought about how very relevant this is to us all in 2020. Changes from the global pandemic continue to hit us hard. Sometimes things are unexpected and we have to adjust on the fly to changing circumstances. As we ride the waves, the unrecognizable becomes clear, and finding new direction becomesJust as the tide changes, other things in our life can change too, and this can push us towards the path that we were destined to follow.
Change is something we cannot keep from experiencing, but the way we get over the hurdles is where the difference stands. We all have extra obstacles put in the way right now during the global pandemic. The question becomes what are you learning, what are you doing with that learning, and how are you sharing the learning? We must be a community. How are you breaking through and finding the right path?
Getting Wound Around The Axle
“Learn to Let Go” was the title of Chapter 13 of Mindset Mondays With DTK, by David Taylor-Klaus. Yesterday’s mindset adjustment was about the fact that everything is not always going to go perfect. It also dealt with something I talk about a lot – you have to be bad at something before you can get good at it. DTK taught us that “done” beats “perfect” (p. 117). This is so true, because most perfectionists I know, or have known, have trouble getting things done.
The metaphor used was getting so caught up in every little thing was like your energy getting wound around an axle. As a farm kid, I completely understand this metaphor from experience of twine, wire, hay bale wrap, or any number of items getting wrapped up in an axle, manure spreader beater, mower blade, et cetera. DTK told us, “When you let go of your white-knuckled attachment to something, you have an open hand, an opportunity to pick up something more valuable” (p. 117). This could also be compared to sunk cost fallacy where we continue a behavior or endeavor as a result of previously invested resources (time, money, human capital, effort, et cetera).
There is a great acronym referred to in chapter 13: “GEMO (Good enough, move on)” (p. 116). To me this means knowing when good is good enough, balanced with the critical thinking to determine when and where to invest in better than good. Perfection is an individual ideal. Something that looks perfect to me may not (and probably won’t) look perfect to you and vise versa. Have you ever noticed that a perfectionist can suck every bit of life out of a room where ideation is trying to happen? They are looking for, or think they have found the absolute best solution when the goal is to explore as many options as possible.
Conversely, there was the perfectionist and painter who’s name you will recognize, Claude Monet, who said, ““My life has been nothing but a failure.” He actually destroyed many, would be masterpiece paintings, because he didn’t believe they were perfect. Being a perfectionist is an impossible thing to live up to. A perfectionist’s high bar is a moving target. The better a perfectionist does, the better he or she is supposed to perform. Perfectionism never gives them a break.
Make no mistake, this GEMO deal is not about being mediocre; it is how we keep from continued fiddling (fine-tuning) or getting stuck not seeing the forest for all the trees. We don’t want to let ourselves get so involved that little details or one little thing not going perfect keeps us from living out our dreams or a dream project.
What Are Your Filters?
I promised another post inspired by the Carolina 3D Leadership participants from the activity where I showed the group the picture of a spider web that I had taken in the barn the morning of their gathering to prompt a discussion. The first post was entitled Out of Kilter. This post is about a comment made that the picture has a filter that blocks everything except the spider web, which if you do not like spiders is a bad thing. The picture used for this activity is shown above on the left. The original picture without any filtering is on the right. This was described as a negative filter. Then it was said that we need to remove the negative filter to see the good. Therefore, we need to change the filter we look through at times. This was such an awesome metaphor the group had created.
This also made me think about all the augmented reality filters there are out there right now to use with our images of ourselves to make our Zooms and other interactions more interesting. Honestly, they just annoy me! But, we really do need to think about what our personal filters are. This is particularly true when we are experiencing what David Taylor-Klaus (DTK) describes as “feeling less” (p.109) in Chapter 12 (Choose a New Perspective) of Mindset Mondays With DTK. This would be like the filter only showing the spider web, or an amygdalla hijack, where our brain is seeing the event as a bad thing – real or perceived. The way to shift out of this hijack, as DTK taught us, is to remove the filter as the event is happening so we can see it for what it really is. That spider web doesn’t look near as threatening in the picture on the right. I love DTK’s questions he proposes we ask ourselves for removing filters:
- What am I making up as true?
- Is that actually true? If so, when did it become true?
- What do you know is true?
Now: choose a new perspective, one that serves you and you can honestly believe is true.
DTK’s last thoughts in the chapter on this are very meaningful. He said, “Once you can get beyond your made up beliefs of who you think you are not,creativity emerges. In that more open, receptive space, that’s where ideas are born and connections grow” (p.112). My final thoughts are if you look for things that are wrong with whatever you are looking at you can usually find plenty. After all you are looking through your filter that defines what wrong and right look like. It is easy to find confirmation for any viewpoint, whether negative, positive or neutral. The unfortunate thing for most of us, much of the time, we are unaware that we are looking through our own filter. Therefore, we need to be aware of what filter we are looking through.
Consider using a positive first filter starting today. Life would look much better if we were able to use our very own positive filter to remove the negative and focus on the positive. What are your filters?
Catch Me and Prop Me Up!
In Chapter 11 of Mindset Mondays with DTK, David Taylor-Klaus used the analogy of a fitness class and wearing a weighted vest to discuss “Reclaim Your Brain.” This got me to thinking that athletes are the perfect examples of reclaiming your brain. Let’s use football as the example. When a quarterback throws an interception, they must immediately get their mind back on track and tell themselves the next pass will be caught. Otherwise the mindset of throwing another interception will take over. For the quarterback it becomes about taking a deep breath and the reminder of all the work in practice that has gone into being on the same page that ensures success on the next pass.
Then, during a post-game interview following the New Orleans Saints huge 38-3 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Drew Brees (Pride of Purdue University and greatest quarterback of all time) reminded us that we also need to be propped up by others to help us see the things that will keep our mindset focused in the the right direction. Here’s an excerpt from Brees’ inspiring comments:
“It was funny, I got hit and I was going down and Terron Armstead caught me and propped me up and said, ‘I just wanted you to see this touchdown.’ So, it’s funny how often the offensive linemen catch that stuff; You know, their blocking, their blocking {and} the minute their guy sees the balls been thrown, the lineman is able to look down the field…So, it’s funny, he caught me, propped me up and said, ‘I just wanted you to see this touchdown.’
Drew Brees is post-game interview
Is that the coolest story or what? It really got me thinking about how many times others have propped me up, even at times when I probably didn’t deserve it. In listening to the interview, this propping up of Drew Brees had a profound impact on him. He was also very complimentary Terron Armstead’s awareness of what was going happening on the whole field. This big picture vision and propping up I’m sure plays a huge role in the team community of the Saints. Armstead saw a need for leadership and seized the moment. I touched on this in Spreading The Wealth. Everyone is a leader and everyone has the responsibility to lead from wherever they are whenever necessary. Period.
Leadership is crucial to setting others up to become successful. By really understanding and paying attention to the needs of those on our teams we can help provide for other to become the “best self” they can be. In our example here, Armstead became a servant leader by being there for Brees. Sometimes we need a cheerleader, other times a champion, and other times a blocker. Through our own curiosity and vision we can help others reflect on their own work and mindset, which helps them be successful the next time around. Don’t think for a minute that Drew Brees won’t be thinking about being propped up and watching that touchdown for some time to come. And, that seeing that touchdown first hand while being propped up hasn’t added to a positive mindset. Success breeds success and the more we learn from what others do right, the more we all grow.
What have great leaders in your life done lately to prop you up and help you reclaim your brain with the right mindset?
Spreading The Wealth
Over the weekend a teacher leader asked me how her principal should be deciding which teachers should get development opportunities and be empowered. I said, “That’s easy; all of them should be getting those opportunities.” As I learned from Kim Scott, author of Radical Candor, everyone has potential. Everyone should have empowerment and opportunities for development. Really, our teacher leaders should all have individualized development plans. Therefore, everyone should be in development mode and be empowered to lead from where they are. Everyone is a leader, so leadership should happen whenever and from wherever it is needed. We need to be very careful to not fall in the trap of “earned empowerment.” In other words only empowering the chosen ones who someone thinks has earned it. This might yield empowering and developing 10% at best. I blogged about this in Earned Empowerment is Dangerous.
Then tonight I was reminded how important it is to have the whole team empowered and ready for action. In the first quarter of the New Orleans Saints big 38-3 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, quarterback Drew Brees had thrown completed passes to nine different receivers. At the end of the first half he had thrown completions to 12 different receivers. That is a big deal. Think about how much more successful the Saints are with that many empowered targets.
So, we probably better take a page from the Saints playbook and empower and develop everyone. Think about it; if we are able to empower all of our people with projects and responsibilities, aren’t we really expanding the capacity of our organization. Really, mass empowerment equals capacity building. This in turn means leadership development of our teams. It also allows us to tap into all of our resources and expertise, which can lead to achieving amazing results.
Great leadership is shifting from telling everyone what to do, to empowering and developing everyone to be ready to come up with the best and brightest ideas and solutions that have ever been thought of before. This will give you a receiver core for big wins like Drew Brees and the Saints.
Leaders Weaving The Web
This morning when I went out to do the morning feeding I saw a very beautiful spider web as I went in the barn. It was so awesomely constructed I had to take a picture and then I got the inspiration to use it in a 3D Leadership Gathering I was facilitating for our Florida participants today. I had them relate the spider web to their leadership development during the last 240 days of the Global Pandemic. A great way to describe leadership is to compare the construction and function of a spider web. Just like each strand of web is carefully woven in just the right places for a spider to capture what’s necessary for it to survive, an effective leader also weaves attributes that attract and nurture those the leader serves. Each strand of that web is a specific tactic the leader can use to engage and influence.
We discussed the vibrations that happen when something touches or gets caught in the web. These vibrations go quickly through an organization so communications should be chosen carefully. A leader should have a meaningful feel of what is going on at the ground in the organization, and that he or she should want to be in touch with the whole organization through effective representatives, reports, liaisons, collegiality, and partnerships within the organization. Leaders should constantly work towards enabling their organizations to become intricately woven groups of people in harmonious partnership.
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