Byron's Babbles

If Only We Would Just Ask

Posted in DTK, Educational Leadership, Global Leadership, Leadership, Leadership Development, Mindset Mondays by Dr. Byron L. Ernest on December 14, 2020

Have you ever complained about something? I know. Stupid question, right? We have all complained about something. Many times a complaint is an unspoken request. Additionally, when we don’t ask for what we want we tend to complain about our needs not getting met. I guess as much as we complain, we must not be very good at asking for what we want. I also believe it to be much more complicated than this, however. When we ask for what we want we make ourselves vulnerable to being turned down or judged negatively for our request. Sometimes people don’t ask because they do not believe they really deserve what they are asking for.

Let’s think about this from a case study perspective. Let’s say I like running through the television channels a time or two. Or three. Or four. It seems my wife is not into that as much as I am. Now, my wife could complain about me, or she could ask me to stop doing that. Did you catch that? If only we’d just ask! Remember, many times a complaint is an unspoken request. We also need to make sure we are paying attention to what it is that makes others complain as well. Also, don’t forget, we are generally much better at listening to ourselves than others.

This very subject was the topic of Chapter 16 entitled “Work On Yourself” in Mindset Mondays With DTK by David Taylor-Klaus (DTK). I loved that he quoted one of my favorite presidents when he said, “If leading is the ultimate responsibility, then it makes sense to start by improving yourself, and working on yourself even harder than you work on your business. As Harry Truman said, ‘The buck stops here'” (p. 134). What does this mean? We need to express what DTK calls the “dream behind the complaint.” The buck stopping with us begins with us expressing what we need to have changed or done. Again, if only we’d just ask!


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  1. […] If Only We Would Just Ask […]


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