Byron's Babbles

I love meeting inspiring young leaders who share inspiring lessons with me. Last night I met Novella at The Cotton Exchange Tavern in Savannah, Georgia. Novella was our server and I was first intrigued by her name. I never had a student named Novella during my time as a teacher or administrator. In doing a little research I found that in the past six decades (1959 to 2018), the name “Novella” was only recorded 1,170 times in the Social Security Administration database. The name Novella is of Latin origin meaning meaning new or young. Also, persons with this name typically have a stronger sense of analyzing life. I would agree because Novella told us she had only been at The Cotton Gin for a week. Her boyfriend is a traveling nurse and works in 13 week shifts. They decided to take advantage of his career right now while they have no children or responsibilities and experience as many new places as possible. Brilliant! Now that is analyzing life perfectly.

Now, for the leadership lesson. I asked Novella if The Cotton Gin was a great place to work. She said, “Yes.” Novella explained she had worked in a corporate chain restaurant before, and really enjoyed now getting to work in a restaurant individually owned. “Before, there was no personalization; bosses just yelled and barked orders to get things done,” she said. Then Novella said, “Here, the leaders make sure you understand why and how to do everything.” Did you catch that distinction between “boss” and “leader”? For example, she told us that as part of her onboarding she tastes the different menu items and that she is given items to take home for meals so she knows all the products first hand. She told us, “I love this restaurant and need to understand and be able to describe what I serve.” Novella had recommended the Cajun Tortellini to me and had described it perfectly.

Clearly the leadership at The Cotton Gin Tavern motivated Novella to go places that she would nor otherwise go. In any business climate, good leadership is perhaps the most important competitive advantage a company can have. We need leaders who will be around when we need them, and who would give us substantive advice, not platitudes. Thanks Novella for reminding us the distinction between “boss” and “leader”.

Last night on FBI International we were introduced to Special Agent Zoey McKenna (Kelley Missal). McKenna was appointed to the Fly Team without the team leader, Scott Forrester’s (Luke Kleintank) knowledge or input. Forrester was upset and seems to be facing a transfer himself, but still recognized specific skills and included Zoey in solving the latest case. In the end Zoey told Forrester, “I was pretty sure you’d freeze me out.” Forrester replied, “Not my style.” As a person who does leadership development, I loved that reply. Have you ever been the victim of a freeze out? Or, have you ever been the one doing the freezing out? Agent Forrester could have frozen Zoey out of the team, but to what end? She had knowledge and skills that were crucial to solving the case. Practicing great leadership, Forrester put the greater good of the team above his own personal feelings.

This really got me to thinking about how cruel the practice of freezing someone out is. Being left out, excluded, or not communicated with is a terrible feeling. There is the speculation running through our heads as to what might be going on on the other person’s end. I’ve actually heard leaders advocate for freezing people out saying that “they’ll take the hint,” but in reality because the leader didn’t communicate their motives, the victim wouldn’t necessarily know what’s happening at all. I am so glad this reflection was prompted last night because I have been the freezer before. When considering all this I am reminded that no one deserves to go through that and how wrong I was. It really is about being a decent human. Let’s all make sure we are never practicing the freeze out.

I loved the line, “Perhaps I was feeling more found than lost” in in Book 3 of Threads West An American Saga: Uncompahgre: Where Water Turns Rock Red by Reid Lance Rosenthal. The context was really the fact that the character, who was part of an 1855 wagon train westward, was feeling more found than lost because of being in such beautiful country, with newfound friends, and so much opportunity. And, feeling lost is many times a step toward feeling found. Also, all these characters left their familiar homes, friends, and families and were now with strangers in a very strange land. I heard it said once that sometimes we are never more found than when we are the most lost.

The members of the wagon train had become a very tight knit network offering vital connections between people who came to rely on one another. This network offered real, substantial support around a common vision. Unlike most our social networks of today. Another lesson we can learn from these emigrants is every one was aware of why they were doing what they were doing, I believe we learn from this how important it is for us to have a shared purpose and a network offering support.

Today, I had a person thank me for “flattening out the bumps for them along the way.” I appreciated the “thank you” and began to reflect on the bumps. Had I really done that much? She thought so. Then I got to thinking; it wasn’t about the bumps, it was about someone being there to flatten them out. Everyone needs someone to flatten out the bumps. Are you that person for someone?

“What happens when eventually comes too late?” ~ Nathan “Nate” Ford (Timothy Hutton) on Leverage. Those lines jumped out at me and really made me think. This should probably be one of this milestone/benchmark questions we should be constantly asking ourselves. I know we are at that time of year where everyone talks about New Year’s resolutions. Not me. But let’s contemplate the old adage that it is ‘never too late.’ While I believe that, I also believe we can wait too long. Sometimes I believe we, myself included, use ‘eventually’ and ‘it’s never too late’ as a crutch, or excuse, to not start something. This really is an avoidance to starting something we might really want or need to do. Think about these things: starting a business, going back to college, getting a doctor’s checkup, calling an old friend, or insert your own here, ____________. Now, look back at that list. Can eventually come too late? Can it really be too late? It sure can! By the time we finally do these things or get started we might just find ourselves in a difficult position and have to fight an uphill battle to get the things done or even stay alive.

“Sadly,
sometimes it’s too late.
And that’s the thing about time,
we cannot get it back.” ~ Kiana Azizian

Notice I made the title of this post ‘Eventually.’ I did not want ‘Eventually Is Too Late’ or ‘Eventually Is Never Too Late.’ Both could be right, but I want us on this New Year’s Eve to keep ‘eventually’ at the forefront of our thinking for 2023. While our calendar timeline is linear, our life’s timeline is not. We do not have complete control over when we are going to achieve something or when something will surprise us. Our lives are extremely unpredictable. Something might happen earlier than we think, it might happen later than you think, or it might not happen at all. So, as you think about that next eventually, remember life can be really long and really short and ask yourself, “What happens when eventually comes too late?”