Playing Full Out
“If your life were a play, how would the audience react” (p. 348). DTK proposed this thought experiment in Chapter 51 entitled, “Strive for Excellence, of Mindset Mondays with DTK by David Taylor-Klaus (DTK). I really like the way he set this up by saying that he wasn’t suggesting we live our lives by the way we appear to others, but understanding the impact we have on others. When I think about actors in a play, movie, or even television program, they can have an impact on us. The best do. This is no different for us as leaders.
I was reminded yesterday how important the way we act is to the impact we have on others. While working my way through classroom visits in a school I do teacher coaching for I ran into a teacher in the school and he said, “I am so glad you are here. You bring such a positive vibe when you are here to us all.” I gotta say that made my day. Because along with helping teachers be highly effective for the students we serve, I want there to be positivity for all. Therefore, we need to do as DTK suggests, “…play full-out in life” (p. 348). The goal is to go as far as you can with all that you’ve got, and when you fall down, you get back up and keep going.
Excellence to me means bringing out the best in others. When we play full-out we need to bring our A-game to whatever we are doing, it has a noticeable impact on others. It raises the bar for everyone. We also need to bring excellence to the thoughts that we think and the words that we use, making sure they’re positive, supportive, and appreciative (of ourselves and others). Play full out. Don’t hold back.
Another Option Is Waiting To Be Uncovered
You gotta love the show, Monk. For those that have never watched it or don’t remember it, the show is about Adrian Monk, played by Tony Shalhoub, who develops obsessive-compulsive disorder, including being a germaphobe, after his wife was murdered. The condition cost him his job as a prominent homicide detective in the San Francisco Police Department. Because he is so good at what he does, Monk continues to help solve crimes as a consultant with the help of an assistant and his former boss, Leland Stottlemeyer, played by Ted Levine.
In the episode I happened to watch tonight, Willie Nelson was accused of and arrested for murdering his tour manager. Monk kept saying Willie didn’t do it, but the early evidence suggested otherwise. After some damning video evidence came out, Stottlemeyer said it was either “A” or “B” in terms of what actually happened. Monk said, “I believe it’s “C”. Stollemyer replide, “What the hell is “C”?” and Monk replied, “I don’t know yet.” I loved this because so many times when confronted with a decision, most of us default to choosing between “A” and “B” because, at first blush, the world appears binary (eg. Yes or No). Many times the standard “A” or “B” answer just doesn’t fit. Monk had shifted the thinking and conversation from binary affirmation to a learning conversation. We need to embrace and even search out option “C”. It may be the best of “A” and “B” or something completely new and different.
I would like to use the metaphor of a color spectrum here. We can see how immensely varietal the colors are, offering far more nuance than initially meets the eye. In my experience, this means that another option is waiting to be uncovered. Taking time to find the nuances can allow us resist the binary way of looking at choices. Let’s consider nuance and begin to view our choices more like the options available on a color spectrum. Like Monk, we might not know what option “C” is, but we know there is one.
Success Packs
The wolf is a very social animal. They travel together, eat together, hunt together and play together. They are referred to as a pack. I love the metaphor of leading and building a community like a wolf pack. I also love the idea of needing a success pack that Charlie Gilkey introduced in Start Finishing: How To Go From Idea To Done. Gilkey opined that we need people who can help us make our ideas reality and achieve our goals. We need:
- Experienced and knowledgeable guides to provide us with advice and inspiration.
- Peers to share our ideas and experiences with.
- Supporters who contribute or help us in some way to do the work.
- Those that will be positively affected by our ideas and projects are the beneficiaries.
Wolves understand the concept of teamwork extremely well. They must work together during the hunt to be successful. Each wolf has a role to play. We need supporters in each of the four roles listed above to help us finish and make our great ideas reality. Next time you’ve got a wild idea or something to create, bring your success pack together.
Being Somebody Who Reminds Everybody of Nobody
In Chapter 50 entitled, “Create Yourself,” of in Mindset Mondays with DTK by David Taylor-Klaus (DTK) DTK asked us the question, “Are you ready to create your one wild and precious life” (p. 345). His point was for to become entrepreneurs of our lives instead of managers. DTK opined that instead of searching and trying to find our next calling, job, or relationship, we needed to instead create them. As he pointed out, “A manager does. An entrepreneur creates.” Creating is such an active verb for our lives.
It’s never too late to become the person you have always wanted to. This is much easier said, however, than done. We aren’t here to all follow the same route on the same map. We are here to create our own. It’s the experiences we decide to make on our own that help us create ourselves. When we go off track, and start forming our own route instead of following in the footsteps of others- these are the moments that define us.
I have always loved the idea of being somebody who reminds everybody of nobody. Think about it; that means we’ve created a “one of a kind.” We are brilliant, unusual, interesting, and a first. Every one of us is unique, but the only way we can show that uniqueness is to create the “me” you want to be.
Seventh Graders Know!
I spent this past week coaching teachers during their first days of school. It was so great to be in classrooms all day and then spend time leading reflection discussions after school. It has always been interesting to me how I can walk into a class and immediately know whether the teacher has the entire class engaged and the overall culture of the classroom. I think it is because I always focus on what the students are doing. I walked into a seventh grade class this past Wednesday and saw a teacher and group of students knocking it out of the park. It was one of those moments where I wanted to be back in seventh grade and a part of her class.
At an appropriate transition I asked the teacher and class if I could interrupt with a question. They all said yes and I asked if they all thought their teacher was doing a great job. It was a loud and resounding “YES!” I then asked a followup, “Why?” I also asked the teacher to write down what the seventh graders told us. By the way, a student pointed out I had asked two questions and not just the one I had gotten permission for – gotta live seventh graders! The list is the featured pictured of this post. What they said was:
- Our teacher inspired us.
- She can relate to us.
- She makes it exciting and engages us.
- She had a lot of energy (literally, this teacher was running from student to student).
- She helps them make everything shiny and pretty.
- She talks to us really well.
- She gives us actual attention.
- She makes learning funner (I know funner is not a word, but it should be and I told the student I would allow it).
This teacher was clearly “withit” and was building relationships with her students. Our students deserve those eight items that these seventh graders outlined. It really doesn’t matter what age group a person is facilitating, all these items apply. Our seventh graders know!
Leading Like A Hinge
I spent this week coaching teachers as the school year got started for many of the schools I work with. One of the teachers I coach told his students that he loved it when I was in the school because I was like the hinges on a door. “Without hinges the door is useless. You can have fancy doorknobs and windows, but the hinges make the door functional. Hinges attach a door to its frame, and are the pivot point for opening and closing the door.” I do hope I am helping teachers connect with their students and am serving as a hinge for the door to open for them to become highly effective facilitators of learning for their students.
Upon further reflection I was reminded of something retired Admiral James Stavridis, author of Sailing True North: Ten Admirals and the Voyage of Character, said: “Leadership is how we influence others. It is like a big door that swings. But that big door of leadership swings on the small hinge of character.” I hope that I bring a great degree of character to my leadership and that I inspire others to do the same.
I want to provide those I coach with the tools, guidance, support, and feedback they need to thrive in their teaching career. I want to be the hinge that opens the door to their success.
Fear Is A Funny Thing
I have blogged about the show Chicago PD before in You Be You & I’ll Be Me. I really like the show and it is easy to get immersed in it. The other night I saw Season 7 Episode 4: “Infection Part 3” and at the end of the episode a voice came on and dramatically said the following:
“Fear is a funny thing. Some of the time, it brings out the worst in people. But fear also brings out our very best. We certainly saw that today. Their love, loyalty, care, and kindness, their support, generosity, and appreciation. And for a certain few among us, fear brings out something different, their choice to be heroic. To stand steady, to hold onto each other, to find a way to hold onto hope, and to lean on each other like family.”
~ Goodwin, Chicago PD Season 7 Episode 4: “Infection Part 3”
There is a whole lot to unpack in that oration. I’m going to let you do that for yourself. When I think back to times I was in the midst of fear, I realize it was not the event itself that caused sleepless nights, the distractedness, or sick feeling, it was the lead up to it. It was the ‘what ifs’ that stirred up the fear gremlins into a frenzy. Fear is a funny thing! We really need to stay in practice; find that something to do for the first time, always be learning, or be daunted by some new and exciting challenge. Fear is a funny thing!
The Power Of Fictional Lives
I came in late last night from playing farmer, my favorite thing, and while dinner was being warmed up I noticed that The Good Doctor (Season 4 Episode 17) was on television. This was not a show I had ever watched before, some people we had over said it was a great show. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it. A line in the show jumped out at me after one of the characters in the show realized that an inspiring story that had really helped her rally and succeed in high school was a fictional story and not about a real person. The person who told her this said, “Fictional lives can save real lives.” This, then begged the question of whether fictional characters can change our lives. We spend a lot of time of our lives immersed in novels, movies, plays, TV series or any other form of fiction.
Many psychologists believe that fictional characters can and do influence us in real life. As I sit here and think about it, I am reminded of the leadership lesson I do involving super heroes as the through line. I also thought about the deep thought and introspection that fictional characters have enacted in myself while reading those great novels over the past year or two. The experience of gaining access to the interiority of the characters’ minds can broaden our perspective and enable our being more accepting of diversity. Because we can learn everything everything about the fictional character (something we can never do with a real person), we become so engrossed with the characters that our own personalities, thinking, and actions get affected.
Here’s the deal: the imagining that takes place when we are reading a novel or watching our favorite show creates understanding. We can learn so much through vicarious experiences that we would never have otherwise known. I believe this is why so many of my blog posts are inspired by television shows (like this one) or lines in novels. Imagination thrives off of imagination. This imagination can help us notice things we wouldn’t otherwise notice.
Building A Balanced Portfolio
It was a great lesson this week in Mindset Mondays with DTK by David Taylor-Klaus (DTK). Chapter 49 was entitled, “Know Your Currencies.” DTK told us money isn’t the metric. DTK argued that money is not currency, but tool used to fund what we truly value. Our values, he contends, are our currency. This reminded me of something my dad always said: “A nice house doesn’t make a home.” We’ve all seen it; the people with gazillion dollar, gazillion square foot home, and the not-so-great family life. As my dad said, the nice house did not make it a great home. Clearly in this example the thing, house, was the valued currency.
I loved the question from DTK of, “Is what I am attending to now worth my attention?” We have so many currencies that are more valuable than money:
- Time
- Attention
- Learning
- Growth
- Self-care
- Connection
- (Feel free to fill in the blank)
Remember, money is a tool and just an indicator of what we value. Look at an organization’s budget and you see what it values. But we also need to be as intentional about how we use our time, energy, emotion, and attention.
The Road To Being Proactive
I ran across the “PROACTIVE PKWY” sign pictured in this post while at Sallie Jones Elementary School in Punta Gorda, Florida facilitating professional development workshops for Charlotte County Public Schools this week. I used the picture I took as one of my morning inspirational tweets. Then I began to think about how important it is for us to be proactive. I’ve spent the week working with teachers and I am reminded that great teachers make everything look random for their students, but nothing is random. The great teacher has been proactive and already anticipated what will/can happen. These great teachers are great leaders because they proactively respond to the strengths and weaknesses of their students and put them in a position to succeed.
To be proactive we must start with the end in mind. The end must be clearly defined. It is the role of the leader to push their team towards the end goal. And that end goal must be both motivating and inspiring enough to cause us to want to act. Proactiveness is not just a skill for leaders. The world of work is changing, and it is now essential that everyone begins to develop this skill. The proactive person recognizes the importance of varying viewpoints and are open to new ideas. Finally, proactive leaders approach a crisis with calm determination rather than chaotic panic. Are you a proactive leader?
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