Byron's Babbles

This is one of those posts that has been on the list to do and then in draft stage for a while. It is inspired by a a great deal of discussion by C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity about “pretending.” Those that know me well know that I loath the phrase “fake it till you make it.” First, it’s just not possible and second I encountered a leader in my career that used to tell their teachers that all the time. Let me assure you, that advice did not work. Everyone knows if you are faking it, particularly our students. In Mere Leadership, Lewis used the idea of pretending in negative and positive ways. Here is the passage that really got me thinking deeply about this:

“Why? What is the good of pretending to be what you are not? Well, even on the human level, you know, there are two kinds of pretending. There is a bad kind, where the pretence is there instead of the real thing; as when a man pretends he is going to help you instead of really helping you. But there is also a good kind, where the pretence leads up to the real thing. When you are not feeling particularly friendly but know you ought to be, the best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. And in a few minutes, as we have all noticed, you will be really feeling friendlier than you were. Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already. That is why children’s games are so important. They are always pretending to be grown-ups—playing soldiers, playing shop. But all the time, they are hardening their muscles and sharpening their wits so that the pretence of being grown-up helps them to grow up in earnest.” C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity (p. 188)

Lewis said it best when he said in the above quote, “There is a bad kind [pretending], where the pretence is there instead of the real thing;” this is what happens when we try to fake it. Now when a child pretends, they are learning to be an adult. Children often engage in “pretend play,” which is a natural and vital part of their development. Through pretending, they explore different roles, practice social interactions, develop creativity, and understand the world around them. This kind of pretending isn’t about deception or superficiality; it’s a genuine form of learning and growth. It’s authentic within their developmental context and helps foster empathy, imagination, and problem-solving skills.

This can also be a good thing for us as adults if we are imagining what we want to become. When I practice a speech, I pretend there is an audience. I do not go give the keynote without practicing and try to fake that I am prepared. I promise you, the audience will know. Lewis warned us about deceiving ourselves into thinking we are something we are not.