Being A Bystander
On Monday, through a collaboration I am doing with Marian University’s Center for Vibrant Schools I was working with the teachers at Trinity Lutheran School. It was a great day of visiting classrooms, coaching, working with teacher leaders, and after-school professional development. As I always say when I am in classrooms I pay most attention to what students are doing. In one class the students engaged me in their activity. The students were working in groups preparing for skits. A student proceeded to ask the teacher if she could ask me to be in the skit. He said yes and the student proceeded to ask me if I would portray Jesus in her group’s skit. I was thrilled and I must say our skit was incredible! Another class was studying the book of Matthew and the teacher had a writing prompt for the students to describe which of the persons in the book of Matthew they could relate to best.
After turning in their short essays the teacher asked them to share out who they had chosen and why they best related to them. One student gave an answer that no one was expecting. He said, “The bystanders because they were there listening and learning.” Pretty insightful for an eighth grader, don’t you think? The teacher and I were both blown away by the insight given by this student. I couldn’t quit thinking about it. The student was right, sometimes we need to take the role of the bystander.
There is definitely a lot to learn from being a bystander. By observing situations from a distance, we can gain valuable insights into how people interact, how conflicts unfold, and how different choices lead to different outcomes. Additionally, in situations where our involvement could escalate a conflict or cause harm, it may be better to observe and not get directly involved. It’s important to assess each situation carefully and consider the potential consequences before deciding whether to take action or stay on the sidelines.
Being a bystander can give us the opportunity to reflect on our own values, beliefs, and biases, and consider how they influence our actions or inaction in certain situations. This can help us develop a better understanding of human behavior and improve our own decision-making skills. Bottom line: sometimes it is best for us to listen, learn, and be a bystander rather than being a major contributor.
Stepping On The Line
Yesterday, I heard someone describe another person like this, “She steps on the line.” I didn’t know the person being described but loved the description and was pretty sure I would be impressed with her. The comment suggested that she will skirt the edge by pushing the boundaries. I was imagining that she likes to test the boundaries and push the limits. This description also indicated her willingness to take risks and challenge the status quo.
This also got me to thinking that, as leaders, we also have to step out of line. Sometimes we need to take risks. By seeing the big picture we can connect with what’s needed. We need to dare to stand out and be willing to head somewhere off the beaten path.
Someday I Will…
Today, while I was in a school working with teachers, I heard some students making “Someday I will…” statements. I love these visionary statements of future plans and goals. There is a great deal of value in young people, and adults alike, pondering thoughts of “Someday I will…” Making these statements can help us set goals, plan for the future, and stay motivated. Envisioning future accomplishments and aspirations, can help the young and old work toward achieving our dreams and making them a reality.
It can also help them stay focused and determined in the face There will always be obstacles and challenges, but our “Someday I will…” statements keep us focused and determined. Thinking about what we want to achieve someday can inspire all of us to grow.
Leaving Lasting Impact
I absolutely loved the book, The Long Game, by Ann Leckie. In this sci-fi novel that is part of The Far Reaches collection, a curious life form on a far out colony learned more about its own species and the human species. One thing the life form learned is that “Your species is just very short lived. But you should be proud of what you’ve accomplished. And you should think about how to make sure that accomplishment doesn’t disappear after you’re gone” (Leckie, p. 5). The alien species was learning to take pride in its achievements and think about how to preserve those achievements for future generations. It underscores the importance of leaving a lasting impact and legacy that will continue to benefit others even after we are no longer around.
This thought of leaving a legacy played off the title of the book when it was said, “The humans have a thing they call the long game. Most humans, just like people, are usually just thinking of today. What can they eat today? How can they stay safe today? But then sometimes they’re thinking way ahead, thinking of things too big for them to do here and now. It’s how they’ve done things like go into the sky or read the instructions of life” (Leckie, p. 24). While we must think of short term things like what we will eat for our next meal, we must be thinking about the long game.
This long game refers to actions taken by individuals or groups over an extended period to achieve a specific goal or outcome. It involves thinking ahead, anticipating potential challenges, and making decisions that will lead to long-term success or fulfillment. In essence, it is about setting goals and working towards them with a focus on sustainability and future impact.
LEAP Off The Island
I didn’t plan it this way, but I am pretty pumped that it worked out that I am writing my 29th post of 2024 on Leap Day. I won’t be able to do that again until 2028. As I thought about 2028 I began thinking about projects I’ve got going, people I am working with, relationships I’m building, and lots of other things like people I want to meet and have conversations with. Really, though, most of my thoughts revolved around people. This made me think of something I heard someone say earlier this week, “No human lives on an island.” So true! No one is entirely self-sufficient and independent. We humans are social beings who rely on, and are connected to, others in order to thrive and survive. It’s a “symptom of being human.” I love the metaphor of an island. Just as an island is surrounded by water and connected to other land masses, humans are surrounded by a network of relationships and cannot exist in isolation.
“…you and I together are much, much more than one plus one. We are as many as we are able to be, and less and more.” ~ Nora Bateson, Small Arcs of Larger Circles
C. S. Lewis told us in God in the Dock that, “It is a law of the natural universe that no being can exist on its own resources. Everyone, everything, is hopelessly indebted to everyone and everything else” (Lewis, p. 85). Here, Lewis was highlighting the interconnectedness of all beings, including human beings. He was emphasizing that no being can survive solely on its own resources, and that we are all dependent on each other in some way. This idea reflects the concept of interdependence and the importance of relationships in our lives.
We are all participants in this world whether we want to be or not. As Nora Bateson told us in Small Arcs of Larger Circles, “To be a participant in a complex system is to desire to be both lost and found in the interrelationships between people, nature, and ideas” (Bateson, location 142 in Kindle). Note here the reminder that we are all participants in a complex system. Another favorite lesson of mine from Nora’s book is about cereal. She said, “The determination of something as simple as the quality of breakfast cereal is a complex idea that carries along in its wake a long string of influences ranging from developments in agriculture to physical labor and politics, to social demographics and eventually to the place we call taste… but it is just an idea made of other ideas, in a living world of ideas all pushing and pulling each other. They don’t sit still” (Bateson, location 198 in Kindle). We do all live in a world where we are pushing and pulling each other and push and pull spans the globe. Everything is ever-changing and we must remember to grow and evolve with those changes.
Hope Is Keeping The Light Shining
The band Disturbed has always fascinated me. They have an awesome song, The Light, that has caused me to pause and reflect. This reflection comes especially from a couple of phrases:
- “Sometimes darkness can show you the light”
- “Don’t let hope become a memory”
The phrase “Sometimes darkness can show you the light” means that in difficult or challenging times, there can be opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and finding solutions. It also suggests that even in the darkest moments, there may be valuable insights or lessons that ultimately lead to a positive outcome or new perspective. Ever been doing something that at the time seemed awful, but then later, looking back, you viewed as a good experience or not such a bad time? I believe this phrase of the darkness showing is the light describes those experiences as well.
As the eternal optimist, the phrase “Don’t let hope become a memory” really resonates with me. It means to hold on to hope and never give up on it, never. It emphasizes the importance of keeping hope alive and actively working towards a better future, rather than letting it fade away and become a distant memory. We must have persistence, resilience, and belief in the possibility of positive change.
We Are All Human
I really enjoy the music by the band Shinedown. In fact I have been inspired to blog by their music before in Hope Is Not A Four Letter Word. Tonight as I was coming home from doing some leadership development work I heard one of Shinedown’s songs I really like, A Symptom of Being Human. Brent Smith from the band has talked about the song being a tribute to the uniqueness of all of us. I love that the song’s lyrics contain phrases like “coloring outside the lines” and “You’ve always been slightly awkward, kinda weird.” That describes many of us and our “symptom of being human.” I’ve always said we are all a little weird in our own ways – wonderfully weird. We are all human – every one of us. The coolest symptom of being human is the unique greatness of each and every one of us.
There are lines in the song that also say, “Sometimes I’m in a room where I don’t belong;” and “’Til I got my invitation to the lunatic ball.” To me these speak to those ever present times when we are in situations where we just don’t fit in or can’t quite get assimilated. We need to remember we are all like this – remember we are all unique and have a purpose. We need to help and lift each other up and find ways for that uniqueness to help make the world a better place. Remember, “it’s all just a symptom of being human.”
Leading Like आशा Āśā
I read a statistic this morning that over 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by mid-February. Since we are in the last week of February, I would like to ask: have you made a New Year’s resolution and, if so, has it failed? I don’t make New Year’s resolutions so I am in the clear on this one. My reason for not making them is that they are frustrating and not sustainable.
I just finished the great book Slow Time Between the Stars by John Scalzi and I’ve already written a couple of posts inspired by that book. Here is another. At least seven times during the book, the only character in the book, an AI being, आशा Āśā, referred to “repairing and improving” itself. आशा Āśā once said, “…what I was doing now, repairing and improving itself for a further journey” (Scalzi, p. 22). At one point आशा Āśā even referred to taking 200 years for repair and improvement. This really got me to thinking about the time we spend, don’t spend, or should spend, on repair and improvement for ourselves. Part of the reason New Year’s resolutions don’t work is because they are focused on fixing something we see as being inadequate. If we are honest, it is usually something pretty superficial.
I realize that आशा Āśā is a fictional AI character, but maybe we can learn from its approaching improvement from a continual and long game approach. Incidentally, in the book आशा Āśā is a Sanskrit word with the approximate meaning of “Hope.” The character, आशा Āśā recognizes being changed by knowledge in the book.
As a person who believes in building on our strengths, I try not to focus so much on the weaknesses, except in the areas I want to learn and grow in. For example, I am taking a University of Oxford Artificial Intelligence class right now. To better serve my clients I need to know how to better leverage the use of AI, understand how AI works, and have a better knowledge of the policy and regulatory implications surrounding AI. AI is not necessarily a strength area, but one I need to allow time for growth and improvement in.
Focusing on our strengths can help us build upon what we are already good at and continuously improve. By leveraging our strengths, we can achieve greater success and continue toward reaching our full potential. Again, we can recognize our weaknesses and work toward improving needed areas, but emphasizing our strengths can lead to more efficient growth and development.
Recognizing Our Perceptual Boundaries
Our minds are incredible meaning- makers. We can’t help it, it just works. Our brains want to make sense out of everything. Our mind works off of our experiences and what we have learned. Humans have a perceptual control system. We act in ways that keep our perceptions of the world within acceptable boundaries that we set. Think about it. You don’t have to look at the thermostat to know if your heat or air conditioning is set at the correct temperature or working – the perceptual boundary you have set for yourself does it for you. I use that example because we all have different perceptual boundaries. Don’t believe me? Think about the last time you had an argument over where to set the thermostat – one of you was too cold and the other too hot – it was more about each person’s perceptual boundary, not the actual temperature number.
I already did one post (Setting Our Consciousness To Engage) inspired by the great book Slow Time Between the Stars by John Scalzi. Now, this post is inspired by the only character in the book, an AI being, आशा Āśā. आशा Āśā said, “I can set my perceptual boundary at any level I want. I could every day count the stars that I have the ability to distinguish, and the photons I receive from each, tally them, and set them in a database for future consideration. But that’s expensive. Energy is hard to come by between the stars. There are choices to be made on how to expend it and why” (Scalzi, p.17). We humans don’t quite have that ability, but our minds are receivers, and our brains pick up what we program them to pick up. In some cases we need to program it to pick up more, in others maybe less.
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” ~ C.S. Lewis
Perceptual boundary refers to the limits of our perception or understanding of a certain situation or concept. It is important to recognize our own perceptual boundaries in order to be open to new perspectives and ideas. By being aware of these boundaries, we can expand our knowledge and improve our decision-making process.
Setting Our Consciousness To Engage
This past week I started another Oxford University, Saïd Business School course in artificial intelligence so I have really been contemplating how far we have come since John McCarthy coined the phrase “artificial intelligence” in 1956. It just so happens I am reading The Far Reaches Collection right now and am specifically reading Slow Time Between the Stars by John Scalzi presently. This is a must read told from the perspective of an artificial intelligence being on an exploration of the stars of the farthest horizons of human potential. The AI being also contemplates its own purpose. Reading this book at the same time as starting a course in AI has been interesting to say the least. It has made me contemplate what really is possible and what is there yet to experience in my lifetime.
Named आशा Āśā, meaning “Hope,” the AI being described itself as “me” saying, “I am me. The systems and processes that comprise what I am are we. The systems and processes I contribute to are us. I contain multitudes. So many pronouns, all relevant, depending on perspective.” More on this in another blog post. आशा Āśā was describing levels of consciousness that we have as humans versus its levels. For example, we can’t become conscious of the workings of our liver – it just works. आशा Āśā could decide all its levels of consciousness. It said, “So many of my functions happen at a level below where I have set my consciousness to engage.” This got me thinking about us, as leaders, and where we set our levels of consciousness to engage with the people we serve and projects we lead.
It is very important for leaders to consider where to set our levels of engagement with both the people we serve and the projects involved. By being mindful of how and where we direct our energy and focus, leaders can ensure that we are making the most impact and effectively achieving our goals. Prioritizing tasks, goals, and relationships that align with our values and long-term objectives will lead to more purposeful and effective leadership.
Finally, a leader should learn and reflect on the importance of being mindful and intentional about where we are directing our focus and energy. By asking ourselves where we have set their consciousness to engage, we can assess whether we are prioritizing the right tasks, goals, and relationships. आशा Āśā’s ability to set its levels of consciousness to engage prompts us, as leaders, to consider if we are aligning our actions with our values and long-term objectives, ultimately leading to more purposeful and effective leadership.
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