To Begin Again: Evolving, Reinventing, Growing, & Improving
I still have a few notes and highlights I want to explore, study, and blog about from my reading of The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. One of the phrases that was used four times throughout the book was, “begin again.” This really resonated with me because of my belief that we are constantly evolving and hopefully growing and improving. I know I am not the same person I was ten years ago, or even a year ago. This made me think back to a conversation I had with Laura Stanifer and Jill Walker while studying one day last month at the Marion E. Wade Center. We were discussing a lecture series I had attended and I made a comment about some things I had learned and formed opinions on since the first lecture in the series in the fall. Laura and Jill commented that I was a different person now than I was in the fall. So true!
Some would push back on me and say we should not change who we are but I would argue we can’t. I would argue we change in some way every day – at least I hope so. It doesn’t mean my core values have changed, but it does mean I am learning and growing every day. Does it mean we are “beginning again?” I am not sure, but I value that idea of being able to begin again.
At the end of the book, Wynnie said, “But also, it’s about finding home. It’s about knowing where you belong and then doing something about that truth. It’s about that sometimes awful and sometimes wonderful journey that can take you in wrong directions, but then being willing to begin again and find your way.” I love this because we all have those sometimes awful moments and those sometimes wonderful moments. Whether our need to begin again and find our way comes from a change in circumstances, an inner yearning to redefine ourselves, or simply the desire to shake things up and keep ourselves relevant, a redefinition can lead to personal growth and enhanced fulfillment in both our personal and professional lives.
“You are not beginning again like a baby – knowing nothing – you are opening to the possibility that there is more to explore, take in, discover, learn, embrace.” ~ Shellen Lubin
As I stated at the beginning of this post, the theme of “begin again” came out in The Story She Left Behind multiple times. I don’t believe Henry wanted us to think about beginning again as fixing something that was broke, but maybe more about reclaiming or reinventing. In this novel, the characters had to make decisions about beginning again for our own journeys.
As the protagonist Clara struggled with her path for beginning again for her and her daughter, Wynnie, she seemed to emphasize renewal, self-discovery, and reinvention rather than fixing something that was broken. Clara’s decisions reflected a courageous step toward reclaiming her identity and embracing new possibilities, which can serve as inspiring lessons for our own journeys. We can view beginning again as an empowering choice to let go of past limitations, redefine our goals, and pursue authenticity. By embracing this mindset, we open ourselves up to growth, healing, and new opportunities, much like Clara does in her story.
Longing: The Hidden Power Behind Growth, Creativity, and Being Alive
In The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry, the protagonist, Clara, made the statement, “Longing means being alive.” This really jumped out at me because we all experience longings. I’d never really thought about how experiencing these deep desires or aspirations is a sign of vitality and emotional richness. It reinforced for me that feeling longing—whether for connection, purpose, or meaning—is an essential part of truly experiencing life. Longing reflects our capacity to hope, dream, and strive, which are vital aspects of human existence that keep us engaged, motivated, and emotionally connected to the world around us.
“I’d thought it all imaginary, but this reality was here all along.” ~ Clara
In the novel, Clara went on to say, “For me, longing itself was the answer, the movement toward creativity and meaning and, yes, love.” This was a beautiful insight from Clara. Her perspective suggested to us that longing isn’t just a feeling of desire or yearning; it’s an active force that propels us toward growth, creativity, and meaningful connections. From this, we can learn that embracing our longing rather than suppressing it can be incredibly enriching. By acknowledging what we deeply desire—whether it’s love, purpose, or understanding—we open ourselves to new experiences and personal development.
To enhance our lives, we might try:
- Listening to our longings: Take time to reflect on what truly matters to us.
- Channeling longing into action: Use that energy to pursue passions, build relationships, or explore new paths.
- Practicing patience and curiosity: Understanding that longing can lead us toward growth, even if the destination isn’t immediately clear.
- Creating meaning through pursuit: Recognize that the act of striving itself can bring fulfillment.
In essence, longing isn’t just a craving; it’s a vital motivator that can inspire creativity, deepen love, and help us find purpose. Embracing it fully allows us to live more authentic and meaningful lives. Longing really is being alive!
Embracing Wonder: Honoring the Divine in Art and Nature to Inspire Compassion and Purpose
Yesterday I finished the incredible book The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. I am now working through my notes and highlights I made for further reflection. Patti is one of my favorite authors. I love her historical novels inspired by actual people and events.
This reflection deals with Clara recalling a conversation with her mother when she was a young girl. She and her mother were pressing flowers between tissue paper to preserve them. This is what her mother said:
“‘This,’ Mother said. ‘Art comes from the same place as this flower.’ She’d pressed the flower into my hand. ‘It is all mystery and beauty and all of this, including us, including that flower, comes from the same place.’ ‘All mystery and beauty.’”
With the description of “all mystery and beauty,” Patty was emphasizing that both art and natural beauty originate from a profound, mysterious source within us and the universe. The idea suggested that creativity and nature are interconnected expressions of something deeper—mystery, wonder, and beauty—that transcends explanation. I believe Patti, through her art of writing, was encouraging us to see the world and our creative efforts as rooted in the same divine or mysterious essence, reminding us to appreciate the wonder inherent in both art and nature.
Recognizing the divine or mysterious essence in art and nature can inspire us to act with kindness, responsibility, and purpose—striving to protect and preserve the beauty that elevates our spirits. By regularly appreciating the beauty around us whether it’s a sunset, a painting, or a song we nurture gratitude and a sense of awe. This can lead to a more positive outlook and deeper connection to the world.
Engaging with art and nature encourages us to explore our own creativity. This not only enhances problem-solving skills but also allows us to express ourselves authentically, fostering self-awareness and emotional health. By embracing the wonder inherent in both art and nature, we connect more deeply with ourselves and the world, fostering qualities like compassion, curiosity, and resilience that make us better humans.
Redemption and Maturity: The Transformative Power of Personal Growth
Last week while facilitating a student focus group on character development for a client, I encountered two descriptions of “character” that I had not ever heard previously. Those descriptions were “redemption” and “maturing.” These words really caused me to pause and think about what redemption and maturing have to do with character. My reflection caused me to believe that redemption and maturing have everything to do with character.
Redemption and maturing are deeply intertwined themes that reveal the transformative journey of character among us all. As we confront our flaws and face consequences, we often undergo profound growth, reshaping their identity and worldview. Exploring these developments offers us valuable insights into human resilience, hope, and the capacity for our own positive change.
When the student described character as “redemption,” I believe he was referring to a journey or transformation where he overcame past mistakes, flaws, or wrongdoings and achieved growth, forgiveness, or moral redemption. It implied that character development involves experiences and significant change—perhaps becoming better, more compassionate, or morally upright—after facing challenges or realizing personal errors. Essentially, “redemption” highlights themes of salvation, second chances, and personal evolution within our individual story.
“Maturing” adds an important layer to the concept of redemption related to character. While redemption focuses on an our moral or emotional salvation—overcoming past mistakes and seeking forgiveness—maturing emphasizes our personal growth, increased wisdom, and emotional development over time. When I heard character development described as maturing, I immediately thought of character as a continuum – it’s ongoing.
When I consider character development and maturing in the context of redemption, it suggests that our journey should not be just about fixing our wrongs, but also about evolving into a wiser, more self-aware individual. This maturation often leads to more genuine change, as the we internalize our experiences and become better equipped to handle future challenges with greater understanding and empathy.
I am grateful for the remarkable teenagers who inspired this discussion with their insightful perspectives on redemption, maturing and personal growth.
Leading Like Hummingbirds
This past Saturday morning, as I do every morning when I finish the morning feeding, I sat on the back porch and watched the cattle head back out to pasture and enjoy the sunrise with my morning coffee. Saturday was special as we now have our flowers all planted which includes a couple of whiskey barrels with flowers specifically for hummingbirds. My bird friends were out in full force this morning (see photos).
I love watching these incredible creatures. During fall, these hummingbirds embark on their migration journey to Central America, including Mexico and the rainforests of Central America, where they spend the colder months, traveling thousands of miles to find suitable wintering grounds. Then in the spring, they return here to breed and feed on our nectar-rich flowers.
I am amazed at the hummingbirds’ Incredible flight skills. They can hover in place, fly backwards, and even upside down. Their wings beat rapidly—around 50 to 80 times per second—creating the characteristic humming sound. This got me thinking how hummingbirds serve as powerful metaphors for great leadership because they embody qualities such as agility, resilience, and adaptability.
Just as hummingbirds swiftly maneuver through complex environments with grace and precision, effective leaders navigate challenges with agility and confidence. Their ability to hover and change direction instantly symbolizes flexibility and openness to new ideas—traits essential for inspiring innovation and guiding teams through change. Additionally, hummingbirds’ relentless energy and persistence mirror a leader’s dedication and passion in pursuing goals.
Hummingbirds represent vibrant, dynamic leadership that is attuned to its environment and capable of inspiring others to thrive amidst complexity.
Language Is The Window into Culture: How Words Reflect Our Collective Identity
I say this a lot and really do believe it, that language matters – it matters a lot. I was reminded of this twice this week. The first was at a gathering I was leading made up of school leadership and the second time was in the incredible book The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. At the gathering we were discussing work-based learning programs for high school students and one of the school’s pointed to one reason for their success was the that everyone was speaking the same language when when it came to work-based learning. In other words every person in the school knew what the vision was for work-based learning from the student to the parents to the counselors to the teachers to the work-based learning coordinator to the employers to the administrators – well, you get the picture.
This shared shared language (understanding, agreement, or alignment) on the particular topic of work-based learning implied that all the individuals and stakeholder groups are working together toward a common goal and have a coherent and unified approach. This is leading to successful implementation. What that school values can be seen by all involved understanding and communicating a common vision and how carrying out that work, in this case work-based learning, is to be performed.
As I stated earlier, the second reminder that language matters was in The Story She Left Behind. Charlie Jameson and Clara were having a conversation about their parents and said:
“‘He’d [Charlie’s father] tell us that every culture infuses its language with a sense of who they are as a people, as a person, as a community. It shows us what they value, what they love, what they think about, how they label the world.’ ‘Then for my [Clara] mother to make up her own words, she felt that none of the other languages could define her life for her. If it’s true that we make a language from what we are made of, then I can say this—Mother was made of deep emotions, of land and of nature.’”
Charlie was emphasizing that language is more than just a system of words; it reflects the identity, values, and worldview of a culture. When he says that each culture infuses its language with a sense of who they are, he’s pointing out that the way communities speak reveals their beliefs, priorities, and collective experiences. Language encodes what they cherish, how they interpret their surroundings, and what they consider important. In essence, it’s a mirror of their cultural soul, showing us their unique perspective on the world and themselves. Think about your organization as a community. What identity and values is your common language conveying?
Clara’s response to Charlie suggested that our personal identities and experiences shape the way we communicate and understand the world. It implied that our inherent qualities, backgrounds, and histories influence the expressions, words, and meanings we develop—essentially, that who we are internally informs how we find ways to connect and convey our thoughts externally. This highlights the deep connection between our inner selves and the ways we express ourselves to others.
Cultivating Answers
I absolutely loved the following interaction between Clara and Charlie Jameson in The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry:
“‘Because I have no answers, and in the absence of answers, I find myself creating some. Tell me you don’t do the same?’ ‘I do. I’ve been creating answers for twenty-five years.’ He smiled; we were in this together—creating answers for unanswerable questions.”
At first when I pondered this interaction I thought of when answers get created when there is a lack of information or clarity. This is a leadership downfall. There can be downsides if answers are created without clear communication or understanding. When clarity is lacking, there’s a risk of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, or providing information that doesn’t fully address the real needs or context. This can lead to confusion, frustration, or even unintended consequences if the responses are acted upon without proper context.
Conversely, when I considered the context of this conversation in the novel I realized it is also an opportunity. When faced with uncertainty or ambiguity, it encourages us to ask more questions, seek clarification, and collaborate to refine the ideas. Embracing humility and openness helps ensure that we remain receptive to feedback and willing to adjust our approach, ultimately leading to more thoughtful and effective solutions. So, while the creation of answers without clarity has potential pitfalls, it also opens the door for deeper dialogue and growth.
While I firmly believe in providing clarity to make sure that wrong answers are not created, I am also taking away from this reflection that embracing uncertainty and acknowledging the limits of our knowledge can foster creativity, humility, and openness. When answers are elusive, it presents an opportunity to explore new ideas, collaborate more deeply, and innovate without being constrained by the need for complete certainty. It encourages a mindset of adaptability and curiosity, understanding that sometimes, imagining solutions or creating pathways is an essential part of progress.
Beyond Words: Exploring the Limits of Language and the Depths of Human Experience
I love made up and invented words. As you know, Leadery in my company name is an invented word. You can read the story of the word Leadery here. In Patti Callahan Henry’s The Story She Left Behind the protagonist Clara is discussing a word made by her mother with Wynnie. The word was “Adorium.” Here is the conversation:
“Adorium means ‘great love,’ ” she said. “The kind of love I feel for you. The kind of love that obliterates all sense and logic and makes the world appear just as it is—completely and utterly magical. Adorium is knowing that all things are one and we are all things—the love that made you and the love we came from and the love we return to.” She stopped, as if she knew I could not keep up, drowning in the waterfall of her definition. “That’s so much for one word,” I said. “Yes, that’s the very point of it all. Sometimes the words we have aren’t big enough.”
Pretty cool word, Adorium, don’t you think? profound reflection on love—describing it as something that surpasses words, something all-encompassing and mystical. The way she captures love as a unifying force, blending everything into one, reminds me of how sometimes language falls short in expressing the depths of our feelings.
This got me thinking about Ludwig Wittgenstein’s work I studied a couple of years ago on how language relates to reality and the limits of our expression. Take a moment and read my post, The Limits of Language. In his early work, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, Wittgenstein believed that language functions as a map of reality—meaning that words can picture facts about the world. He argued that what can be said clearly is limited to propositional language that depicts facts, and anything outside that—such as ethics, aesthetics, or the mystical—is considered “unsayable.” This aligns with the idea that some phenomena, like love or consciousness, transcend language because they are not easily represented through logical propositions.
Later, Wittgenstein came to believe that meaning arises from use, and that the complexity of human experiences—like feelings or the sense of the universe—often falls outside fixed definitions. This perspective highlights that certain aspects of reality are inherently difficult to articulate because they are woven into our forms of life and shared practices, echoing the idea that some phenomena are best understood through intuition, experience, or artistic expression rather than precise words.
This all was very interesting when pondering Patti’s character in The Story She Left Behind creating her own language with created words. This underscores the idea that language has its limits, especially when it comes to capturing the full depth of human experience and the mysteries of existence.
Casting A Shadow Despite The Sun Not Shining
In my studies of George MacDonald I have always been intrigued by his use of shadows as metaphors. Last year I wrote Our True Essence about MacDonald’s use of the metaphor of Anodos’ shadow to represent his inner and negative emotions in Phantastes. MacDonald may have been using this imagery to evoke a sense of the unseen forces at play, emphasizing themes of temptation, inner darkness, or the duality of human nature. The shadow serves as a visual cue to remind us that not everything is as straightforward as it appears, and that beneath beauty or allure, there may be complexity or peril.
In MacDonald’s Lilith, which I am reading right now, MacDonald says, “The sun was not shining, yet the bird seemed to cast a shadow, and the shadow seemed part of himself.” Quite the thought provoking metaphor, don’t you think? The image of a bird casting a shadow despite the sun not shining suggested to me that even in moments of darkness or absence of clarity, there are underlying influences or truths at play. The shadow being part of the bird itself can symbolize the idea that our inner darkness, subconscious thoughts, or hidden aspects of ourselves are inseparable from who we are, even when outward appearances seem unaffected.
MacDonald’s incredible metaphor emphasized the themes of duality within human nature—the coexistence of light and darkness—and hints that what is unseen or unacknowledged may still be an integral part of our identity. This reminded me that sometimes our unseen or unacknowledged qualities need to be seen by others. Or, possibly more important, we need to always be on the lookout for those shadows in others that will help us better understand those we serve.
What We Wish For
I continue to be inspired by The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. Patti has knocked it out of the park again with this novel. One of the ways I rate literary works is to consider how deeply the work makes me think. Patti’s work always has me pondering areas that end up helping me personally and professionally. Yesterday, the phrase, “Sometimes we don’t really want what we wish for” jumped out at me. This was part of an interaction between protagonist, Clara Harrington, and her daughter, Wynnie, after arriving in London to retrieve a duffle bag containing important papers written by her late mother. Here is the entire interaction:
“Are you nervous, Mama?” Wynnie asked without turning around. “I am.” I went to stand beside her. “Sometimes we don’t really want what we wish for.” “Wynnie, where did you hear something like that?” “The Middle Place,” she said. “Ah.” I exhaled. “Yes.”
This got me to reflect on the idea that our desires can be complex and may not align with our true needs or circumstances. Ever wished for something and when the wish came true wonder why you made that wish or regret the desire completely? It suggests that what we think we want—such as success, relationships, material gain, or certain experiences—might come with challenges or sacrifices that we hadn’t fully considered. Just because something seems appealing at first glance doesn’t mean it will bring us happiness or fulfillment when we actually attain it. This theme encouraged me, and now I hope you, to reflect on personal aspirations and recognize that sometimes the pursuit of a wish might lead to unexpected consequences.
Byron's Babbles 
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