Byron's Babbles

I still have a few notes and highlights I want to explore, study, and blog about from my reading of The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. One of the phrases that was used four times throughout the book was, “begin again.” This really resonated with me because of my belief that we are constantly evolving and hopefully growing and improving. I know I am not the same person I was ten years ago, or even a year ago. This made me think back to a conversation I had with Laura Stanifer and Jill Walker while studying one day last month at the Marion E. Wade Center. We were discussing a lecture series I had attended and I made a comment about some things I had learned and formed opinions on since the first lecture in the series in the fall. Laura and Jill commented that I was a different person now than I was in the fall. So true!

Some would push back on me and say we should not change who we are but I would argue we can’t. I would argue we change in some way every day – at least I hope so. It doesn’t mean my core values have changed, but it does mean I am learning and growing every day. Does it mean we are “beginning again?” I am not sure, but I value that idea of being able to begin again.

At the end of the book, Wynnie said, “But also, it’s about finding home. It’s about knowing where you belong and then doing something about that truth. It’s about that sometimes awful and sometimes wonderful journey that can take you in wrong directions, but then being willing to begin again and find your way.” I love this because we all have those sometimes awful moments and those sometimes wonderful moments. Whether our need to begin again and find our way comes from a change in circumstances, an inner yearning to redefine ourselves, or simply the desire to shake things up and keep ourselves relevant, a redefinition can lead to personal growth and enhanced fulfillment in both our personal and professional lives.

“You are not beginning again like a baby – knowing nothing – you are opening to the possibility that there is more to explore, take in, discover, learn, embrace.” ~ Shellen Lubin

As I stated at the beginning of this post, the theme of “begin again” came out in The Story She Left Behind multiple times. I don’t believe Henry wanted us to think about beginning again as fixing something that was broke, but maybe more about reclaiming or reinventing. In this novel, the characters had to make decisions about beginning again for our own journeys.

As the protagonist Clara struggled with her path for beginning again for her and her daughter, Wynnie, she seemed to emphasize renewal, self-discovery, and reinvention rather than fixing something that was broken. Clara’s decisions reflected a courageous step toward reclaiming her identity and embracing new possibilities, which can serve as inspiring lessons for our own journeys. We can view beginning again as an empowering choice to let go of past limitations, redefine our goals, and pursue authenticity. By embracing this mindset, we open ourselves up to growth, healing, and new opportunities, much like Clara does in her story.

In The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry, the protagonist, Clara, made the statement, “Longing means being alive.” This really jumped out at me because we all experience longings. I’d never really thought about how experiencing these deep desires or aspirations is a sign of vitality and emotional richness. It reinforced for me that feeling longing—whether for connection, purpose, or meaning—is an essential part of truly experiencing life. Longing reflects our capacity to hope, dream, and strive, which are vital aspects of human existence that keep us engaged, motivated, and emotionally connected to the world around us.

“I’d thought it all imaginary, but this reality was here all along.” ~ Clara

In the novel, Clara went on to say, “For me, longing itself was the answer, the movement toward creativity and meaning and, yes, love.” This was a beautiful insight from Clara. Her perspective suggested to us that longing isn’t just a feeling of desire or yearning; it’s an active force that propels us toward growth, creativity, and meaningful connections. From this, we can learn that embracing our longing rather than suppressing it can be incredibly enriching. By acknowledging what we deeply desire—whether it’s love, purpose, or understanding—we open ourselves to new experiences and personal development.

To enhance our lives, we might try:

• Listening to our longings: Take time to reflect on what truly matters to us.
• Channeling longing into action: Use that energy to pursue passions, build relationships, or explore new paths.
• Practicing patience and curiosity: Understanding that longing can lead us toward growth, even if the destination isn’t immediately clear.
• Creating meaning through pursuit: Recognize that the act of striving itself can bring fulfillment.

In essence, longing isn’t just a craving; it’s a vital motivator that can inspire creativity, deepen love, and help us find purpose. Embracing it fully allows us to live more authentic and meaningful lives. Longing really is being alive!

Yesterday I finished the incredible book The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. I am now working through my notes and highlights I made for further reflection. Patti is one of my favorite authors. I love her historical novels inspired by actual people and events.

This reflection deals with Clara recalling a conversation with her mother when she was a young girl. She and her mother were pressing flowers between tissue paper to preserve them. This is what her mother said:

“‘This,’ Mother said. ‘Art comes from the same place as this flower.’ She’d pressed the flower into my hand. ‘It is all mystery and beauty and all of this, including us, including that flower, comes from the same place.’ ‘All mystery and beauty.’”

With the description of “all mystery and beauty,” Patty was emphasizing that both art and natural beauty originate from a profound, mysterious source within us and the universe. The idea suggested that creativity and nature are interconnected expressions of something deeper—mystery, wonder, and beauty—that transcends explanation. I believe Patti, through her art of writing, was encouraging us to see the world and our creative efforts as rooted in the same divine or mysterious essence, reminding us to appreciate the wonder inherent in both art and nature.

Recognizing the divine or mysterious essence in art and nature can inspire us to act with kindness, responsibility, and purpose—striving to protect and preserve the beauty that elevates our spirits. By regularly appreciating the beauty around us whether it’s a sunset, a painting, or a song we nurture gratitude and a sense of awe. This can lead to a more positive outlook and deeper connection to the world.

Engaging with art and nature encourages us to explore our own creativity. This not only enhances problem-solving skills but also allows us to express ourselves authentically, fostering self-awareness and emotional health. By embracing the wonder inherent in both art and nature, we connect more deeply with ourselves and the world, fostering qualities like compassion, curiosity, and resilience that make us better humans.

I say this a lot and really do believe it, that language matters – it matters a lot. I was reminded of this twice this week. The first was at a gathering I was leading made up of school leadership and the second time was in the incredible book The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. At the gathering we were discussing work-based learning programs for high school students and one of the school’s pointed to one reason for their success was the that everyone was speaking the same language when when it came to work-based learning. In other words every person in the school knew what the vision was for work-based learning from the student to the parents to the counselors to the teachers to the work-based learning coordinator to the employers to the administrators – well, you get the picture.

This shared shared language (understanding, agreement, or alignment) on the particular topic of work-based learning implied that all the individuals and stakeholder groups are working together toward a common goal and have a coherent and unified approach. This is leading to successful implementation. What that school values can be seen by all involved understanding and communicating a common vision and how carrying out that work, in this case work-based learning, is to be performed.

As I stated earlier, the second reminder that language matters was in The Story She Left Behind. Charlie Jameson and Clara were having a conversation about their parents and said:

“‘He’d [Charlie’s father] tell us that every culture infuses its language with a sense of who they are as a people, as a person, as a community. It shows us what they value, what they love, what they think about, how they label the world.’ ‘Then for my [Clara] mother to make up her own words, she felt that none of the other languages could define her life for her. If it’s true that we make a language from what we are made of, then I can say this—Mother was made of deep emotions, of land and of nature.’”

Charlie was emphasizing that language is more than just a system of words; it reflects the identity, values, and worldview of a culture. When he says that each culture infuses its language with a sense of who they are, he’s pointing out that the way communities speak reveals their beliefs, priorities, and collective experiences. Language encodes what they cherish, how they interpret their surroundings, and what they consider important. In essence, it’s a mirror of their cultural soul, showing us their unique perspective on the world and themselves. Think about your organization as a community. What identity and values is your common language conveying?

Clara’s response to Charlie suggested that our personal identities and experiences shape the way we communicate and understand the world. It implied that our inherent qualities, backgrounds, and histories influence the expressions, words, and meanings we develop—essentially, that who we are internally informs how we find ways to connect and convey our thoughts externally. This highlights the deep connection between our inner selves and the ways we express ourselves to others.

I continue to be inspired by The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry. Patti has knocked it out of the park again with this novel. One of the ways I rate literary works is to consider how deeply the work makes me think. Patti’s work always has me pondering areas that end up helping me personally and professionally. Yesterday, the phrase, “Sometimes we don’t really want what we wish for” jumped out at me. This was part of an interaction between protagonist, Clara Harrington, and her daughter, Wynnie, after arriving in London to retrieve a duffle bag containing important papers written by her late mother. Here is the entire interaction:

“Are you nervous, Mama?” Wynnie asked without turning around. “I am.” I went to stand beside her. “Sometimes we don’t really want what we wish for.” “Wynnie, where did you hear something like that?” “The Middle Place,” she said. “Ah.” I exhaled. “Yes.”

This got me to reflect on the idea that our desires can be complex and may not align with our true needs or circumstances. Ever wished for something and when the wish came true wonder why you made that wish or regret the desire completely? It suggests that what we think we want—such as success, relationships, material gain, or certain experiences—might come with challenges or sacrifices that we hadn’t fully considered. Just because something seems appealing at first glance doesn’t mean it will bring us happiness or fulfillment when we actually attain it. This theme encouraged me, and now I hope you, to reflect on personal aspirations and recognize that sometimes the pursuit of a wish might lead to unexpected consequences.

I’ve already blogged once about the awesome new book The Story She Left Behind by Patti Callahan Henry in Embracing Fate and Personal Responsibility in Life’s Journey. Today I was inspired by this exchange between the protagonist Clara and Mr. Jameson after Clara told him there were too many things going on to go to England:

Mr. Jameson: “There will always be something.” Clara: “Excuse me?” Mr. Jameson: “Do you know how many things I meant to do with my father, believing there was loads of time to do it? Trips and excursions and just an ordinary day fishing? There wasn’t time. But you must make time” (p. 57).

Isn’t what Mr. Jameson said so true. There always is something. Life is inherently unpredictable and full of unforeseen events or challenges. Life is also very busy. Mr. Jameson was reminding Clara that even when we feel overwhelmed or believe we don’t have enough hours in the day, it’s essential to prioritize and dedicate time to what truly matters. This was a reminder that we must intentionally carve out moments for important tasks, relationships, or goals, rather than waiting for free time to appear on its own. Essentially, it’s about taking control of our schedules and making room for the things that are vital, despite busy or challenging circumstances.