I Hear You
I really enjoy the show Chicago PD. All the characters in this show are very involuted. One of the hardest to understand is Sergeant Hank Voight (Jason Beghe). He is often portrayed as a tough, no-nonsense detective who prioritizes justice and protecting his team and community. While Voight exhibits strong leadership qualities—such as decisiveness, resilience, and a sense of responsibility—his approach to the relationships with those on his team and empathy are more complex.
In an episode I was watching tonight Voight was listening to some problems one of his team members was having and he stopped her and said, “I hear you.” I love that phrase when it is real and authentic. In this case it showed he understood and knew what he needed to do to help. This reminded of me of the research done by University of Virginia psychologist James A. Coan that showed empathy and leadership are linked to feelings of compassion, emotional understanding, and supportive behaviors that foster trust and connection. Coan’s studies often highlight the importance of emotional support and empathic engagement in effective leadership.
When someone hears us, they are showing compassion by seeking to understand and appreciate our current condition. While Voight’s methods are sometimes more pragmatic and involve tough love, confrontation, or even emotional detachment, especially when he’s pursuing justice or dealing with personal struggles, he does show moments of concern and protective instincts toward his team and victims, which can be seen as empathetic traits.
Coan said that “If a friend is under threat, it becomes the same as if we ourselves are under threat. We can understand the pain or difficulty they may be going through in the same way we understand our own pain.” So when the Chicago PD character, Hank Voight says, “I hear you” this really is something that that we can do. We can understand as if the problem were our own. This is once again proof that relationships matter and relationship-building is a core part of our work as leaders.
Don’t Let The Moment Get Too Big
With the start of the college football season, I have heard the phrase “Not allowing the moment to get too big” said of quarterbacks a couple of times over the last couple of weekends. We can learn from this phrase that maintaining perspective and staying calm in a situation that might seem overwhelming or emotionally charged is an important attribute. Being a college football quarterback is a perfect example for this. A maturing quarterback and other maturing leaders learn to not let the significance or intensity of a moment escalate to the point where it causes unnecessary stress, anxiety, or impulsive reactions.
Essentially, it’s about keeping composure and not letting the moment’s importance overshadow good judgment or personal stability. The quarterback/football game example here reminds us that maintaining calmness, composure, and steady decision-making amidst high energy and intensity is the name of the game (pun intended).
Leading With Convivial Conversations
Last night, at a gathering of Marion E. Wade continuing scholars at Wheaton College, we discussed having convivial conversations. In fact it is one of the norms of our continuing scholars. I love it! It is what I strive to facilitate in everything I do. The word convivial means friendly, lively, enjoyable, and respectful. Convivial conversations are all about fostering a warm, friendly, engaging, and respectful environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing and connecting.
Here are the important aspects of convivial conversation and why I believe these conversations should become a part of our norms:
- Warmth and Friendliness: Use a friendly tone, smile (even if virtually), and show genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts and feelings.
- Active Listening: Pay full attention, listen without interrupting, and show that we value others’ input through nods, affirmations, or follow-up questions.
- Respect and Openness: Respect different viewpoints, avoid judgment, and be open-minded in discussions.
- Light-heartedness and Humor: Incorporate appropriate humor to create a relaxed and joyful atmosphere.
- Inclusivity: Encourage everyone to participate, making sure no one feels left out.
- Mindful Language: Use positive, considerate language that fosters trust and comfort.
Cultivating convivial conversations can be accomplished by doing the following:
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue by asking questions that invite elaboration rather than yes/no answers.
- Share Personal Stories: Appropriately share our own experiences to build connection.
- Express Appreciation and Gratitude: Acknowledge contributions and express thanks.
- Be Present: Minimize distractions, focus fully on the conversation at hand.
- Create a Comfortable Environment: Whether in person or virtual, ensure the setting feels welcoming.
- Practice Empathy: Show understanding and compassion for others’ perspectives and feelings.
Making convivial conversation a norm requires consistent practice and genuine intention. If we’re not already doing this, we need to start with small interactions, be mindful, and gradually cultivate this approach in all our conversations. It can truly transform our relationships and create more meaningful connections!
Finding Our Purpose: Igniting Life with the Energy of Adrenaline
I love the band DED’s song, “Purpose: Be myself.” The title is so awesome. As the song says; “I feel my purpose calling; Lift me off the ground; I just wanna be my-; Self assured and I’m not coming down; I just wanna be myself.” It is so powerful to think of that feeling of our purpose calling us. Our purpose is such a very personal thing. If we are living our purpose, we can truly be ourselves.
The other lines in the lyrics of this song that really jumped out at me were “Live in adrenaline; Inside adrenaline; Become adrenaline.” To me, these lines convey a sense of embracing intense emotions and energy. “Adrenaline” here symbolizes feelings of excitement, passion, and a desire to feel alive. Living and being inside adrenaline suggest fully immersing ourselves in these powerful sensations, pushing beyond comfort zones. Ultimately, “become adrenaline” could mean embodying that energy as a core part of ourself—living authentically with intensity and vigor. In other words: living our purpose. This song really inspires us to embrace our inner strength and passion so we can truly “be ourself.”
Gaining True Understanding
In a recent blog post, Our Internal State Shapes Our Future Experiences, inspired by George MacDonald‘s Lilith, I discussed how our beliefs, character, and moral strength serve to be the primary shapers of our future experiences. And how external events are secondary; what truly affects us is how we respond internally. In that post I quoted Mr. Vane, the protagonist in Lilith, as having said, “That which is within a man, not that which lies beyond his vision, is the main factor in what is about to befall him: the operation upon him is the event.” In that same paragraph, Mr. Vane went on to say, “Foreseeing is not understanding, else surely the prophecy latent in man would come oftener to the surface,” which relates to my earlier post highlighting internal influence and personal responsibility by emphasizing that merely predicting or foreseeing events doesn’t equate to true comprehension or mastery over them.
In other words, just knowing or anticipating what might happen isn’t enough; true understanding—an internal, moral, and intellectual clarity—is necessary for actual insight and meaningful action. If we truly understood ourselves and our inner capabilities, our innate prophetic potential—an intuition or deeper awareness—would manifest more frequently.
This aligns with the notion that inner growth and moral character are vital: by cultivating understanding within ourselves, we can better influence our experiences and perhaps even realize our own prophetic insights more often. It’s a call to go beyond superficial anticipation toward genuine understanding and inner development.
Learning From The Leadership of Nero
Having just recently returned from spending a week working in Montana, I couldn’t help getting caught up watching a few episodes of Paramount’s Yellowstone marathon this past Labor Day weekend. In one of the episodes I was able to catch, Rip Wheeler (Cole Hauser) asked Beth Dutton (Kelly Reilly) if she remembered the fiddle playing Roman Emperor, Nero. She did, and Rip then stated he was worried the Dutton’s were headed down that route, particularly with John Dutton just having become governor of Montana in the show. Of course, this caused me to do some research on Nero.
Nero was known as a notorious Roman emperor who symbolized corruption, cruelty, lavishness, and the destructive potential of absolute power. Rip was using the analogy of Nero to express his worries that if the Dutton family lost their values, unity, and sense of morality—becoming self-centered or oppressive—they risked descending into similar behavior. Rip’s concern was that without careful stewardship, the family might become corrupt, undermine their integrity, and ultimately harm themselves and their legacy, much like Nero’s reign led to chaos and ruin.
From my study Nero’s reign, we are reminded of the importance of humility, integrity, and foresight. Absolute power can be seductive, but it also carries the risk of corruption if not checked by strong moral principles and accountability. Leaders should prioritize humility, listen to diverse perspectives, and remain vigilant against becoming self-centered or despotic. Maintaining a clear sense of purpose, fostering unity, and upholding ethical values help ensure that power is used responsibly, ultimately sustaining trust and legacy rather than risking downfall through arrogance or neglect of moral responsibilities.
Our Internal State Shapes Our Future Experiences
In George MacDonald‘s Lilith, he emphasized the importance of inner qualities and personal development over external circumstances. In the book, the character Mr. Vane says, “That which is within a man, not that which lies beyond his vision, is the main factor in what is about to befall him: the operation upon him is the event.” At that moment in the book, MacDonald wants to highlight for us that our internal state—our beliefs, character, and moral strength—primarily shapes our future experiences. The phrase at the end of the sentence, “the operation upon him is the event,” suggested that external events are secondary; what truly affects us is how we respond internally.
Mr. Vane’s takeaway from this in the context of the story was the understanding that, regardless of external circumstances, our true power lies in how we manage our own internal state. Mr. Vane was recognizing that cultivating a positive mindset, virtues, and inner resilience can help us navigate challenges more effectively. Essentially, Mr Vane learned that by focusing on his internal operation—his thoughts and moral character—he could influence his experience of life’s events rather than being solely at the mercy of external factors. This realization models for us personal responsibility and the importance of inner growth as key to overcoming difficulties and achieving a sense of fulfillment.
The Path of Consistency and Trust
Every year when we put a group of cows or heifers out in our different pastures I am always amazed at how they will make paths in different parts of the pasture back to the barn, water, or area where we feed them, depending on the pasture. In the featured photo of this post I have highlighted a trail that cows close to freshening (calving) made from the woods into the main pasture leading to one of our barns. Every spring the groups make a new path; continuously taking the same route back to shelter or water. The cows find the most desirable terrain and continuously take exact same route to get there. This got me to pondering whether there was a leadership lesson in there somewhere.
Cattle always using the same trail can serve as a powerful leadership metaphor. Just as cattle repeatedly follow the same trail, effective leaders often establish clear, consistent guidelines, processes, and routines. Followers trust the path because it’s familiar and proven, which fosters stability and confidence. It emphasizes the importance of creating a dependable direction that others can rely on, encouraging continuity and collective progress.
While establishing clear guidelines and routines can promote stability, one thing to beware of is that over-reliance on them might lead to rigidity or resistance to change. If leaders become too focused on maintaining established routines, they may overlook the need for innovation or adaptiveness in response to new challenges. This can result in stagnation or an inability to respond effectively to evolving circumstances.
Love And Understanding
Through my work at the Marion E. Wade Center I have become a huge fan of George MacDonald. His work had a big influence on C. S. Lewis. I am finding his work to influence me both professionally and spiritually. Right now I and reading and studying George MacDonald’s Lilith: A Romance.
MacDonald’s quote in the book, “to understand is not more wonderful than to love,” reflected a deep philosophical and spiritual insight. Essentially, MacDonald suggested that love has a higher, more profound value than mere understanding. At first I struggle with this, because I am such a believer in seeking to understand others, particularly from a leadership standpoint. Then, however, as I dug deeper into the context and really reflected I came to appreciate that while understanding involves intellect and knowledge—comprehending concepts, facts, or situations—love goes beyond the intellectual. It embodies compassion, connection, and a kind of wisdom that recognizes the intrinsic worth of others.
In the context of Lilith, this statement emphasized that true greatness or wonder lies not just in grasping ideas or truths, but in the capacity to love genuinely and unconditionally. Love can transform and elevate our experience of life, opening us up to deeper meaning and connection that understanding alone may not fully achieve. Therefore, MacDonald elevated love to a more divine or extraordinary realm, suggesting it holds a greater potential for fulfillment and wonder than simply understanding.
Our Portable Assets: Skills and Reputation
Something I believe is important for young people and adults alike to understand is that our skills and reputation are portable assets. These qualities are valuable resources we carry with us across different situations, careers, or environments.
Skills are like tools in our personal toolkit—they can be applied in various roles or industries, making us adaptable and versatile. Our reputation, which is built on trust, credibility, and how others perceive us, can also follow us from one job or community to another, often opening doors and creating opportunities.
We must remember and make sure that our students and young adults understand that both skills and reputation are assets that aren’t tied to a specific place or time; they can be transferred and utilized wherever we go, helping us succeed and grow regardless of the particular circumstances.
Byron's Babbles 
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