Exactly What We Aim For
As I write this post I am in a hotel room in Louisville, Kentucky sitting in the comfy chair while my son sits at the desk finishing an animal science class assignment. I’m in Heaven! I get to spend time with my boy. He drove over from Murray State University and I came from home to meet here for the weekend at the National Farm Machinery Show. He’s now a junior, but it’s still rough on me having him six hours from home. Before he left for college we did everything together. Now, when we get a weekend like this it is very special. I’m telling you all this to make the point that everything we do this weekend becomes part of the memory.
So, the experience matters! While in Louisville we are customers. And, as my friend Joseph Michelli would remind me, it is all about the customer experience. I try to find and read everything he writes because his insights help me grow personally and professionally. In a blog post entitled “It’s Not What You Value | Team Member and Customer Value” he wrote:
“…I believe that even greater customer value comes from moving from services to experiences (rather than from products to services).”
I love this idea of moving to experiences. I’ve always tried to make my gatherings (what most call workshops and professional development sessions) like a KISS concert – an experience. Tonight, my son and I had an experience! We went to Churchill Downs and ate at Matt Winn’s Steakhouse. To learn who Colonel Matt Winn was, click here.
Our experience started as soon as we parked at Churchill Downs. Actually, let’s back up. The experience started shortly after I made our reservation when I got an email explaining what gate to go in, where to park, and that someone would meet us to take us to the restaurant. Everything was exactly as outlined. We were picked up in a golf cart and driven through hallowed Churchill Downs to the red carpet. We walked through jockey statues painted in the silks of major race winners. Of course we stopped and took a selfie with the representative of the Kentucky Derby winner. Then it was up to the sixth floor. We were treated to tableside service and incredible food, all while overlooking the historic Churchill Downs Racetrack.
Then before the dessert cart we were asked if we would like to go out on the veranda and enjoy the view. So, we did! We actually stayed out there for an hour and visited with other exhibitors and attendees of the National Farm Machinery Show. After three hours and forty-six minutes we were finishing up our experience, umm, dinner. My son then made a profound comment to our server, “This is so much more than what I anticipated!” And our incredible server replied with the comment that affirms all of Joseph Michelli’s teaching, “That’s exactly what we aim for.” Giving people more than they anticipate. That’s a huge part of the customer experience.
Here’s the deal, the food (product) was incredible. In fact, after the deviled egg appetizer my son said he would never eat another because no deviled egg could ever compare again. The physical atmosphere was awesome. Those to me were the easy things. It was the people that made the experience. We knew our server so well by the end of our experience that we wanted our picture taken with her. She and all the other incredible people made the experience more than what we anticipated. Matt Winn’s will become an annual tradition for us. It’s an experience my son and I will not forget and a memory we will always cherish. This was a perfect reminder of just how important the experience we give others is.
Side By Side Leadership
I’m glad I hadn’t written this post reflecting on Simple Truth #7, “When People Are Off Track, Don’t Reprimand Them – Redirect Them”, in Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways To Be A Servant Leader and Build Trust, Making Common Sense Common Practice by Ken Blanchard and Randy Conley before a leadership development gathering I facilitated last night because a conversation added value to the book content. We discussed how important it is to show grace, have empathy, and practice compassion. One leader asked, “What happens when the person you are showing grace to just isn’t getting the job done?” A great discussion ensued. Many even shared their stories of being on both sides of that question. Long story short, where we landed was that there has to be grace with accountability. If we really love those we serve this is the right thing to do. So, for example, if a person has had some change that causes him to be a little late to work, then there can be the accountability of, “what’s our goal of when we can get back to being on time?” Or, even better, could there be some adjustment made for that person to work later in the day that would help out someone needing to leave earlier? This is what loving those we serve is all about. We say it can’t be one size fits all for students, why does it have to be one size fits all for adults? I don’t think it does.
This all caused me to reflect even more on what Blanchard called “side-by-side leadership.” He stressed that we are almost always in learning mode and “Punishing a learner is never appropriate…” (p. 23). Ever had that boss that liked to reprimand? You know, the one you only heard from when we made a mistake – in today’s world usually in the form of a text or email. Not real helpful, right? Blanchard said, and I believe this goes right along with our grace with accountability discussion last night that, “When people are clear on the goal and still learning but their performance isn’t up to standard, redirection is far more effective than a reprimand. The aim is to BUILD (emphasis added by me) people up so they will continue to move toward improved performance” (p. 23). So, let’s all get side-by-side with those we serve and build, build, build!
Reverse Mentorships Revisited
I’m not sure where I would be without the incredible mentoring I have had over the years from students, yes you heard me right, and those younger and less experienced than me. I was reminded of this during a discussion where a teacher with 20 years experience was thanking a second year teacher for all she had learned from him. This mentoring extended far beyond the typical reverse mentoring of sharing knowledge about technology. The mentoring that was discussed in this conversation was about mentor on various topics of teaching strategies and cultural relevance.
Cara Dune: Take care of this little one.
Greef Karga: Or maybe, it’ll take care of you.
From The Mandalorian – Season 1 Episode 8: ‘Chapter 8: ‘Redemption’ (1×08) | Produced by Lucasfilm
The cool part about this organic mentoring relationship was that is was not a one way street. There were opportunities to exchange ideas, and even inspire one another. The beauty is that we know there are skills gaps on both sides, and that each person can address their weaknesses with the help of the other’s strengths. What’s interesting about these reverse mentorships beyond the incredible exchange of skills, knowledge, and understanding, there are great relationships and friendships created. Check out my very first blog about this in Reverse Mentoring. Bridging generational and hierarchical gaps to improve communication are important things that can happen. So, if you want to foster a more inclusive culture that values the contributions of all employees, and increase engagement and collaboration multiple generations, encourage more reverse mentorships.
Overrated Advice
It’s one thing to give advice to someone else, dispensing thoughtful words of wisdom. But have you ever noticed that when you try applying those same suggestions to your own life and it often falls apart. I was reminded of this when I heard someone yesterday say, “Taking your own advice is highly overrated.” Really it is all about vantage point. It’s much easier to identify the most rational option, on the other hand, when you’ve got an outsider’s vantage point. From your own perspective it is hard to be your own coach because you’re too close to your own problems, and so your emotions are more likely to cloud your judgement.
It’s not easy to step outside of our minds and see ourselves objectively. To see our own abilities and to know that we’re just as strong as anyone else out there. When we don’t take our own advice and encouragement, however, we become a hypocrite. In as much as we look to others to set an example, they also look at us to do the same for them. Let’s also not forget that on some issues we have a tendency to prefer their own opinions, irrespective of their merit, and the fact that careful listening is hard, time-consuming work. Maybe the best example we can set is to always seek sound coaching, counsel, and advice from others.
Teams Gather
Lately they’ve been playing episodes of The Closer on television. In the show, Brenda Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) moved to Los Angeles from Atlanta to head up a squad that handled sensitive, high-profile homicides. She had an interesting personality and clashed with some colleagues, but her skills as a CIA-trained interrogator prove invaluable in obtaining confessions. The real key to the squad’s success, however, is the team. Interestingly, I’ve been doing some training on teams this week. Things like team makeup, improving teamwork, building a better team, and leading teams.
Brenda’s team of six is an interesting blend. They all have unique strengths and personalities – the perfect way to make a team. The other thing I think is cool is how when the team is out in the field or in the office and someone speaks up about something they’ve found, everyone gets up and gathers around. At that point everyone is offering ideas and asking questions. It’s a pretty amazing thing to watch that happen on the show. Brenda was fantastic at utilizing the strengths of the team. My only criticism would be that the show never showed there being any development of the team. Utilizing strengths are important but we don’t want to let our teams get stale or stagnant by failing to create opportunities for them to learn new, different things. So, let’s gather around.
Aggressively Doing Nothing
There has been a lot written about “doing nothing” in lots of different contexts. There are those times on a Sunday afternoon when you just want to do nothing. There are those times where you can’t decide, so you do nothing (which some would say is doing something). The problem is we usually associate doing nothing with irresponsibility. In the novel Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir I was reminded that doing nothing and reflecting can be important to solving problems. When Dr. Ryland Grace is recovering from amnesia he stops every so often and reflects back on things from the past when something in the present jogs his memory. At one point in the novel he says, “I’m doing something by aggressively doing nothing.” This really got me thinking about what it would be to aggressively do nothing.
Research tells us that when we allow ourselves periods of uninterrupted, freely associated thought then personal growth, insight and creativity are more likely to emerge. This can be critical for us to seek the unfamiliar. Our subconscious kicks in and we become more creative. This can help us to solve problems we are facing. It might feel weird to do nothing, but might just be a way of investing in our own well-being. Hyper-busyness seems to be equated to success, but do we give up our ability to be significant (the difference we make), or really make a difference? Now I am not suggesting we all start aggressively doing nothing all the time or quit making decisions, but am suggesting we can use it as a tool to recharge or take a step back to get another perspective.
The Beginning
My dad used to always tell me, “Nothing ever ends, it’s always the beginning of something else.” I’m not sure what has caused me to think about this, but as with most everything he said, he was right. The end of one thing leads to the beginning of another. Think about it: the beginning of a new thing comes from the completion of the prior thing. In fact, many find it hard to start something new until they have finished with something else first.
I believe my dad wanted me to look at life from a little different point of view. Maybe a little more circular instead of the linear perspective we normally take. His point was that life changes, things begin, then eventually end. So, we can celebrate an ending, continue to dwell on it, agonize over it, or we can ask ourself what new beginning awaits us?
Approximately Right To Exactly Right
It’s funny; we all have that word when we are learning to talk that our parents told the story about. Mine was calling candles at Christmas time “nandles.” By my birthday I had perfected my speaking and called them candles on my birthday cake. For my son it was “corn on the bob” instead of “corn on the cob.” The point of the story is that we both eventually got it right. As an educator, I’ve always understood the power of praising progress and growth to proficiency. Somehow, though, many leaders forget this with adults.
This week in Simple Truth #6, “Praise Progress!”, in Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways To Be A Servant Leader and Build Trust, Making Common Sense Common Practice we are told by Ken Blanchard and Randy Conley that “Good performance is a moving target, not a final destination” (p. 21). Their point is that if we are serving correctly as a leader we will be coaching, developing, and cheerleading along the way – not just waiting to see if there is success or failure. As we’re told by Ken and Randy, “Exactly right behavior is made up of a series of approximately right behaviors” (p. 21). Nandles became candles and corn on the bob became corn on the cob. What was your word you had approximately right?
What’s The Point?
You guessed it! I am blogging about another quote in the great fiction novel Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. Here it is: “What’s the point of even having a world if you’re not going to pass it on to the next generation.” Dr. Ryland Grace in Project Hail Mary. Now, I know I am opening up a touchy, okay highly contentious, topic here, but being a farm kid, as have all involved in the agriculture industry, I have always been very concerned with keeping our planet healthy. We have been a part of conservation efforts, precision agriculture to reduce the use of chemicals, practices which use less trips thus reducing emissions, and a host of other things. For me, this is good stewardship! I don’t need to belong to a group either believing in or not believing in global warming to love the earth. We all need to be good stewards of the planet. Period.
Personally, I believe that is what should be driving the conversation – good stewardship. This brought me back to some learning from Amanda Ripley and her book High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. She taught us that we need to recognize what each other cares about most. This was called being “hearable” in the book. “Hearable” means what our audience cares about most. For me doing my part in making sure we have a world to pass on to the next generation is about stewardship and care of our planet. We need to be scientifically thinking about how we become adaptive to increasingly variable weather. Farmers and agriculturalists have been professional adapters forever. We’re really good at responding to the challenge of adapting to difficult situations.
Ripley also taught us that “Each of us has an infinite number of identities, arranged in a hierarchy that changes all the time. We belong to groups we consciously recognize as well as ones we don’t” (High Conflict, p. 107) She went on to tell us that “Group identities are complicated, shifting, and powerful forces” (High Conflict, pg. 108). What I took from this is many times we let our group affiliations take us to high conflict. So, for me I don’t really belong to a camp. But then again I guess I do because of being a farmer – that puts me in a group that I will defend. Ugh! I just want to do my part for good stewardship and will have a difficult conversation with anyone about that and study what the science tells us.
I guess what I really want is good conflict not high conflict. In healthy conflict, Ripley told us “…there is movement. Questions get asked. Curiosity exists. There can be yelling, too. But healthy conflict leads to somewhere” (High Conflict, p. 107). We must find ways to not become enraged because we lose access to the part of the brain that generates curiosity and wonder. High Conflict described our ability to “expand the definition of us and work across differences to navigate conflicts” (High Conflict, p. 29). Can you tell you really need to read the book?
So, how about we all just be willing to have the tough conversations? So, how about we talk about ideas of how best to leave a better world for the next generations?
Making Abnormal Normal
“Human beings have a remarkable ability to accept the abnormal and make it normal.” Dr. Ryland Grace in Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. I loved that line in this great book as it caused me to pause my reading and reflect on how true this really is and how much this has been tested over the past three years. One thing that sets us humans apart from other mammals is our need to look toward the future to define our lives. This is what enables us to survive and deal with crisis and navigate transitions and changes. It has been interesting to follow Dr. Graces’ travel alone (I’ll let you read this great novel to understand why he is alone) on a suicide mission to save the world. He certainly is still looking toward the future to further define his life.
The global pandemic has certainly put us to the test. It is hard to look toward the future for a definition when it just looks like more of the same. But the best leaders I am witnessing now are able to look toward the future and see the new definition. Let’s face it, the way we work has changed, the way we educate has changed, and the way we do just about everything has changed. It is what many are now referring to as the “new normal.” Again, we have taken the abnormal and made it normal. As I write this post I am on an airplane wearing a mask. It is now normal for me as a person who flies somewhere almost every week to wear a mask for hours at a time and think nothing of it.
“…an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”
Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning
We’ve now been honing in on crisis management as an essential leadership skill. I’ve even been asked to customize some trainings to include leading in a crisis. As I have reflected on what I have read in Project Hail Mary so far I wonder if part of leading in a crisis is finding the best ways to accept the abnormal and make it normal. You can agree or disagree, and I would actually love to hear your thoughts, but some of the coolest things that have come from the pandemic have been just that – accepting the abnormal and making it normal. If you’re saying, “Give me an example.” Here are a few:
- Working from anywhere
- Learning from anywhere
- Flexibility in the workplace
- Keeping a better pulse on the context in which employees are living and working
- Businesses, organizations, and schools have learned how to think differently
- Technology has been embraced in new ways (eg. virtual doctor and dental visits)
I don’t know about you, but I am really glad some to those abnormal things have become normal. I certainly wish it had not taken the abnormality of the pandemic, but we did not get to make that choice. We need to continue to sharpen and use our ability to accept the abnormal and make it normal.
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