Who We Are
After my post yesterday, I really got to thinking about this question of being bigger than something other than ourselves. You can click here to check out All The World’s A Stage. It’s actually pretty simple, however, we are all part of something bigger than ourselves, namely the universe. We often forget this, however, and we stop looking beyond our own body, opinion, experience, well-being, and other self interests. I constantly need to be reminded that, though I am tiny and only temporarily on this earth, I can take action toward outcomes that go beyond my own life, needs, comforts, desires, gains and losses — often through shared work with others, influencing decisions, or helping, coaching, or mentoring others.
Because it was my conversation with Johnny Hawkins, Mark Vollelunga, Daniel Oliver, and Ben Anderson, the band members of Nothing More, that really got me thinking about all this, I am going to point to one of their songs for inspiration. Honestly, I not paid very close attention to the words of their song, Who We Are, until they autographed the poster pictured here in this post, and gave it to me. It has the words to the song in the background. There’s a pretty powerful message in this song that who we are should keep us believing. Click here to watch the video of Who We Are by Nothing More.
“It’s who we are that keeps me believing
There’s something here bigger than ourselves
If I’m wrong then why am I still feeling?
Who we are, keeps me believing
Keeps me believing”
~ Chorus From Who We Are by Nothing More
This is actually very profound. Who we are is much more important than what we do. We need to focus on being bigger on the inside, our character, than we are on the outside, our influence. Think about it, if our character waivers, our influence becomes discounted. We must line our lives up with our values or we will live a life that is out of balance and devoid of the creative energy we need to achieve our true potential.
“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? ” ~ Jesus in Mark 8:36
We also need to think about the chorus phrase, “It’s who we are that keeps me believing.” Think about that; it doesn’t say, “who I am” it says, “who we are.” This is profound when we think about leading or being part of our businesses and organizations, our communities, our schools, our country, or the larger aggregate of the world 🌎. Who we are and what we believe in aggregate matters. We need to create organizations, communities, countries, and a world 🌍 where we all matter.
“What we know matters but who we are matters more.” ~ Brené Brown
As it says in Who We Are, I want the “you, that’s in me, [to be] in everything.” Let’s work to create a world where we can “stand together” because of Who We Are!
All The World’s A Stage
Nothing More
My blog post yesterday was inspired by the incredible experience I had of having the honor to spend some time visiting with the members of Nothing More on their tour bus prior to the show at Ruoff Music Center this past Friday. Click here to read Leading Without “Virtue Signaling.” As I stated in that post, Johnny Hawkins, Mark Vollelunga, Daniel Oliver, and Ben Anderson, the band members of Nothing More, are four of the greatest guys you will ever meet. Today’s post was inspired by a chance conversation as we were getting off the tour bus. Standing in the doorway of the bus, I had a side conversation with Johnny Hawkins and Mark Vollelunga about how much their music made me reflect and think. I thanked them for using their talents and taking the risk to be who they are in the music business. They knew I was using their songs to introduce leadership concepts and spur thought and discussions in the leadership development work I do. I wanted them to know, however, how much the words they were creatively arranging into music were more that just that – words or music. For example, if you want to be moved, take a moment and click here and watch Fade In / Fade Out. This song really moves me because of losing my dad early in my adult life and now having a son.
Ruoff Music Center
I believe my comments caused them to reflect for a moment. Both Johnny and Mark became very reflective and appreciative of being reminded what they do is much bigger than them. They commented on sometimes forgetting and needing to be reminded that the music they make and the shows they put on make a difference in people’s lives. Mark said, “we need to remember that and take that seriously.” Johnny said, “we get caught up in doing the next show, looking for inspiration for the next song, writing the next song, or putting the next album together, but everything we do touches others.” Think about what they both were saying – they are doing something bigger than themselves. It isn’t about them, it is about connecting with their fans and influence. And…since leadership is influence, my friends in Nothing More are leaders. They just have a different, and I would argue, more exciting platform to lead from. Always remember, we all have a platform, everyone! It is our responsibility to use it to the fullest. I also believe it is our responsibility to help those whose stage might not reach the masses of Nothing More, reach his or her potential as well.
We’ve almost made the thought of being part of something bigger than ourselves cliche’. But, we all need to think about what stage we have chosen, or what stage we have available. What platform do we have to lead and influence, because we all have one. As William Shakespeare so wisely put it: “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.” That really says it all. Think about all the lives we enter and exit. Think about all the parts we play in one day. Everyone is a leader from where she or he is, so we need to get up on stage and perform. Are you taking advantage of the platform you have right now to lead and make a difference from where you are?
Leading Without “Virtue Signaling”
Getting Ready To Get On Nothing More’s Tour Bus
Yesterday, I had the rare opportunity to spend time on the tour bus of one of my favorite rock bands before their concert at Ruoff Home Mortgage Music Center. The band was Nothing More. Those that know me know I love rock music and still dream of being a rock star. Hey, if my idol, Gene Simmons can still be rockin’ it at age 69, no reason why I don’t still have time, right? Anyway, back to the subject of this post. I believe we all imagine what goes on in a rock band tour bus, but I’ve got to tell you I was amazed by the deep conversation we had. I gotta tell you the conversation yesterday is going to span several blog posts.
First of all, Johnny Hawkins, Mark Vollelunga, Daniel Oliver, and Ben Anderson, the band members of Nothing More, are four of the greatest guys you will ever meet. They are super friendly and very deep and philosophical thinkers. Need I say more for you to understand my gravitation toward them. So, I asked them if they would tell me a little more about one of their songs, DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?,” that I use to introduce a leadership training session I do. Little did I know the great conversation that was about to begin. As I said earlier, the conversation is going to turn into several blog posts, but this morning’s is going to be about something that Johnny Hawkins talked about that really made me pause and think; think about my own actions, as well as others.
Johnny started talking about “virtue signaling.” If you would have told me we were going to talk “virtue signaling” on Nothing More’s tour bus before yesterday, I would have told you you were nuts. But, I gotta tell you, I really wanted to get back on the bus and ride to the next venue, and have one of those all night philosophical discussions. I loved Johnny’s visual description of “virtue signaling” when he took his fingers and made a circle ⭕️ symbolizing a button and held it to his chest. He talked about how this signaling is a camouflage. It’s noticeable how often virtue signalling consists of saying we hate things. Or, many times by saying we are for something, we are saying how much better we are than others. The emphasis on hate distracts from the fact we are really saying how good we are.
“Virtue signaling” is a habit we now have of indicating that one has virtue merely by expressing disgust or favor for certain political ideas, cultural happenings, or philosophical or religious beliefs. The phrase was coined by the British author, James Bartholomew. When we seize moments to throw a fit about what or who we hate, we many times are not really talking about the real issues or our philosophical differences with another person, we are just showing our vanity and try to signal to others how virtuous we are. As James Bartholomew said, “If you were frank and said, ‘I care about the environment more than most people do’ or ‘I care about the poor more than others’, your vanity and self-aggrandizement would be obvious. . . . Anger and outrage disguise your boastfulness.” In other words we are not talking anything of fact or substance. Johnny pointed out that we really need to take a step back and think about what we can do. This is much tougher than just saying we are going to solve world hunger, eliminate all racism, or make all schools great. Think about it. It is easy to say those things, but a much tougher conversation when we begin to think about what we are personally going to do.
We discussed how we talk about changing the world, but we really need to think about changing the things within the scope of what we can control or affect change. A big part of that is just changing and growing ourselves. That’s why I am so moved by the chorus in the lyrics of the song, DO YOU REALLY WANT IT? where it says, “Everybody wants to change the world, But one thing’s clear, No one ever wants to change themselves.” This is the chorus that I use for a major discussion among up and coming leaders. As you can see, this prompted an inspiring discussion that helped me grow as a person and leader that I have not even begun to scratch the surface on in this post. How about you? Do you really want it? What can you change? Are you willing to change yourself? Or will you “virtue signal” and blame others? Let’s take our “virtue buttons” of our chests and talk about substance and the issues not about the people and personalities.
Leadership Paw Prints
Cam
For those that are regular readers of my blog, you know that I love cats. To be clear, however, we have no cats in the house and none that curl up in my lap to watch TV. Ours are farm/barn cats that play an important role in rodent control and are free to roam the entire farm. Nonetheless, I love them and they are very well taken care of. Ours are not typical barn cats in that these are all pets and are always sitting on bales of hay or up on posts waiting to be petted. And…always lined up ready for me to feed them morning and evening. For me, they are just fun to watch.
This morning it was raining and as I walked through the barn to start the morning feeding I looked down and saw the wet paw 🐾 prints, pictured here in this post, on the barn floor and I knew exactly which cat they were from – Cam. Cam is always the first cat to stir and I knew he would be up on his tower waiting for me to acknowledge him and pet him. Sure enough, there he was. This got me to thinking about what footprints we are leaving behind and what our predictability/dependability is.
As a fan of Winston Churchill, I am reminded of his saying, ‘We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” So what are our footprints doing to make a life? We could even divide this into some of the different roles we play in life.
Think about our role as a parent. Most children imitate their parents, copying mannerisms and ways of responding to situations. As parents, we walk through life leaving footprints that express the qualities we value for our children to follow. We need to make sure we leave lasting imprints and not ones that quickly dry up and disappear like the wet cat paw 🐾 prints that inspired this post.
We all have mentors/coaches in our professional and personal lives. We need to make sure we are leaving lasting and life-giving footprints for our mentees. Also, we need to make sure to honor and follow in the footprints of our mentors/coaches. By doing so, we honor the people who invested their lives into us and our organizations. By following their footprints, we recognize that we have been given a “step up” by standing on what they have already accomplished.
Footprints clearly leave an impression. The way we lead, transact our personal business, and interact with others should leave an impression, too. We need to make sure the impression we leave has a lasting impression.
Our footprints show where we have been, what we have done, what direction we are headed, and what course corrections we have made along the way. Our footprints are the diary of what we have done. The pattern of your footprints is a testimony to the kind of person and leader we are.
Take a look over your shoulder at your footprints. Do they express the values and actions that you want others to associate with you? Have your footprints made a clear impression? Finally, are your footprints making a lasting impression?
The Great & Humble Leadership Of Calvin Coolidge
This past July my family and I spent the day in the beautiful Green Mountains of Vermont in Plymouth Notch. We went there to learn more about one of my favorite Presidents, Calvin Coolidge. I have read many books about our 30th President and studied many of the papers he wrote. I am fascinated with his leadership style, path to the Whitehouse, and his upbringing. In our quest to get my son to all 50 states before he graduates high school, we thought it fitting to spend time at the birthplace and childhood home of President Coolidge as our way of seeing Vermont.
Snow Roller
As soon as we walked up to the visitors center, we understood the draw of this place known as Plymouth Notch. It was beautiful! Then as we learned about President Coolidge’s grandparents and parents, it became very evident how he could grow up to be President of the United States. His father was born in Plymouth, Vermont. John C. Coolidge was truly a servant leader. As I see it, he was the guy who held the town together. He was a farmer, store owner, and worked at a variety of other occupations. He served as the postman, snow roller (there was no way to plow snow at that time so they rolled it – see picture), town police, cheese maker, and he even made carriages. In addition, he was a veteran of the Vermont militia, and was in charge of the area militia. As you can see, he was a prominent local leader, he served in numerous Plymouth town offices, and was elected and served in both the Vermont House of Representatives and Vermont State Senate. What a role model for our 30th President.
This was quite the example for the young Calvin Coolidge growing up. President Coolidge learned hard work on the farm and developed a love of agriculture and farming that never went away. I wonder if there will ever be another President of the United States who grew up on a farm or who was a farmer like Calvin Coolidge or Harry Truman? It was amazing to stand in the sitting room, known as the “Oath of Office Room.” Coolidge was back home when President Harding died, so was sworn in by his father, there in that room, to be President of the United States. The room displays the table, Bible, and kerosene lamp used in the swearing in and then his inauguration. President and Mrs. Coolidge occupied a second floor bedroom during their many visits. Here we were, standing where all this happened.
“…to walk humbly and discharge my obligations.” ~ Governor Calvin Coolidge when asked his goal as Governor Of Massachusetts
Calvin lived in Plymouth Notch until 1887, when he left for school. In 1895, he graduated from Amherst College in Massachusetts and moved to nearby Northampton to study law. Northampton, Massachusetts would be home for him for the rest of his life. After admittance to the bar in 1897, he established his law practice and soon became involved in local politics. Here are some key milestones in Coolidge’s rise to the presidency:
• Began a steady rise in the State Republican Party in 1899
• City Councilman of Northampton, Massachusetts
• Mayor of Northampton, Massachusetts
• Served in both houses of the Massachusetts State Legislator
• Served as Massachusetts’ Lieutenant Governor and Governor
• Gained national attention during the Boston police strike of 1919
• Elected as Vice President to Warren G. Harding in 1920
• Became President in 1923 upon the death of Harding
• Elected President in 1924 after gaining the faith of the American people in only 15 months
President Coolidge was an outstanding example of a President who regarded his office, the most powerful in the world, as a stewardship–rather than as an opportunity to remake civilization. He proceeded from practical considerations of government, politics and popularity, applying his life-long experience as an elected office-holder. His decisions were usually compromises, made after long consideration of the conflicting interests involved. He announced them in as few words as possible and committed himself only so far ahead as might be necessary. During his administration the advance of the United States into the future was distinctly experimental–always in search of the sound course.
“They criticize me,” Coolidge said, “for harping on the obvious. Perhaps someday I’ll write On the Importance of the Obvious. If all the folks in the United States would do the few simple things they know they ought to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves.” ~ President Calvin Coolidge
I am so glad we had the opportunity to walk among the houses of President Coolidge’s family and neighbors, the community church, taste cheese in the family’s cheese factory still in operation today, one-room schoolhouse, and general store which have all been carefully preserved. We also were able to pay our respects as the President is buried in the town cemetery. From walking where he walked we can understand why all during his life he would never waiver in his character or methods. He listened, he assimilated, and he waited until there appeared what seemed to be the soundest course. He did not try to make circumstances; but, when they appeared in the right configuration, he acted. By spending time there I learned where he had learned to be the principled and outstanding humble leader. I have been a student of Calvin Coolidge leadership for many years, and have now had the experience of seeing and understanding where his principled and conservative beliefs came from and were developed.
Refreshingly Organic Leadership
Humble Leadership: The Power of Relationships, Openness, and Trust by Edgar H Schein
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is a refreshing change to other leadership books and theories that have multiple steps that really only work in an ideal culture or environment, or when everything is going perfect. Humble Leadership is not about doing this and then that; it is about building authentic relationships and trust, and then letting the group growth and development happen organically. This book starts out by posing the question as to whether the leader makes the culture, or the culture makes the leader. The authors also posit that leadership exists at all levels and everywhere in the organization. This helps the reader view leadership as multidimensional as opposed to a two-dimensional, top-down hierarchy. Humble Leadership is about relationship building and trust. Humble Leadership teaches the reader how to be adaptive and practice adaptive leadership while letting the individual team members and organization grow in an organic way. There were great examples of how Humble Leadership works with the Air Force Thunderbirds and David Marquet’s turning around of the Navy submarine, USS Sante Fe. This book is a must read for all leaders who want a culture where every person is empowered to be a leader and is working to make the organization great.
The Implications of What We Call “Level 2” Relationships at Work
The following is an excerpt from Humble Leadership
The Implications of What We Call “Level 2” Relationships at Work
By Ed and Peter Schein
Organizations today are doing all kinds of experiments in how work is defined and are showing great flexibility in how roles and authority are allocated. What we see in these experiments is that they encourage relationships that are more personal. Bosses, direct reports, team members, and resources from other teams are making it a point to get to know each other at a more personal level, fostering more openness and, in time, more trust and the psychological safety to speak up and be heard.
In a Level 2 relationship, I convey that “I see you.” This is not necessarily “I like you” or “I want to be your friend,” or “Let’s get our families together,” but I let you know through my words, demeanor, and body language that I am aware of your total presence, that in this relationship we are working together and are dependent on each other, are trying to trust each other, and should each try to see the other as more than a fellow employee, or associate, or team member, but as a whole person. By conveying that “I see you”, we are also conveying that we will not allow “professional distance” to separate us; we are forming a personal-working bond that will not tolerate obfuscation or deception. Seeing each other as whole persons is primarily a choice that we can make. We already know how to be personal in our social and private lives. Humble Leadership involves making that conscious choice in our work lives.
Six Principles of Humble Leadership
- Humble Leadership builds on Level 2 personal relationships that depend on and foster openness and trust.
- If Level 2 relationships do not already exist in the workgroup, the emergent humble leader’s first job is to develop trust and openness in the workgroup.
- In a Level 2 workgroup Humble Leadership emerges by enabling whoever has pertinent information or expertise to speak up and improve whatever the group is seeking to accomplish.
- The process of creating and maintaining Level 2 relationships requires a learning mindset, cooperative attitudes, and skills in interpersonal and group dynamics.
- An effective group dealing with complex tasks in a volatile environment will need to evolve such mindsets, attitudes, and skills in all of its members.
- Therefore, Humble Leadership is as much a group phenomenon as an individual behavior.
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About Authors
Edgar H. Schein is Professor Emeritus from the M.I.T. Sloan School of Management. He’s a pioneer in organizational studies, organizational culture and leadership, process consulting, career development. Ed’s contributions to the practice of O.D. date back to the early 1960s and continue with the recent publication of Organizational Culture and Leadership 5th edition and now Humble Leadership, co-authored with Peter A. Schein, co-founder of OCLI.org who brings 30 years of hands-on experience in large and small companies leading growth initiatives in Silicon Valley.
A New Approach to Leadership
The following is an excerpt from Humble Leadership
A New Approach to Leadership
By Ed and Peter Schein
This book introduces a new approach to leadership based more on personal relationships than transactional role relationships.
The good news: employee engagement, empowerment, organizational agility, ambidexterity, innovation . . . all of this can flourish in the rapidly changing world when the fundamental relationship between leaders and followers, helpers and clients, and providers and customers becomes more personalized and cooperative.
The bad news: continued deception, scandals, high turnover of disengaged talent, safety and quality problems in industry and health care, all the way to corruption and abuse of power at the highest levels of industry and politics, driven by financial expediency and the obsession with retaining power as primary success criteria . . . all of this will continue to happen as long as leader-follower relationships remain impersonal, transactional, and based on the roles and rules that have evolved in the current culture of management that still predominates in our hierarchical bureaucratic organizations.
The Leader-Follower Relationship
“Leadership” is wanting to do something new and better, and getting others to go along. This definition applies as much to senior executives developing new strategies, new purposes, and new values as it does to a group member down in the organization suggesting a new way of running a meeting or improving a process to drive better results. Both the word new and the word better remind us that leadership always refers to some task that can be improved and to some group whose values and culture will ultimately determine what is better.
What is new and what is better will always depend on context, the nature of the task, and the cultural values that are operating in the group or organization that is doing the work. What we later may label as “good or effective leadership” thus always begins with someone perceiving a new and better way to do something, an emergent leader. Our focus will be not on the individual and the desired characteristics of that emergent leader, but on the relationships that develop between that person and the potential followers who will have influenced what is finally considered to be new and better and who will implement the new way if they agree to try it. Those potential followers will always be some kind of workgroup or team, so our focus will also be on the relationships between them. They may be co-located or widely spread in a network, and their membership may change, but there will always be some kind of grouping involved, hence group dynamics and group processes will always be intimately involved with leadership.
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About Authors
Edgar H. Schein is Professor Emeritus from the M.I.T. Sloan School of Management. He’s a pioneer in organizational studies, organizational culture and leadership, process consulting, career development. Ed’s contributions to the practice of O.D. date back to the early 1960s and continue with the recent publication of Organizational Culture and Leadership 5th edition and now Humble Leadership, co-authored with Peter A. Schein, co-founder of OCLI.org who brings 30 years of hands-on experience in large and small companies leading growth initiatives in Silicon Valley.
Why Does Community Matter?
This past week I had the honor to be involved in a webinar put on by my friend Becky Robinson at Weaving Influence. The webinar featured a hero of mine, Peter Block. I consider him to be the father of Community. In fact, he literally wrote the book on it – Community: The Structure of Belonging, 2nd Edition. The webinar was held to launch the 2nd Edition of the book that was released last week. Peter Block was introduced to me by my good friend Mike Fleisch. Mike has literally shown me all the great community work that Peter Block has done in Cincinnati. I have read Peter’s books and was excited to be on the webinar with him. Peter is truly helping to change the world.
“The best way to connect is with groups of three people with their knees 9 inches apart.” ~ Peter Block
Let me tell you, there was a great deal of content in a one hour webinar. Peter is very philosophical, but is also able to bring his philosophies and core values to a practical level as well. I want to provide you a bulleted list of some of the more salient points that I believe Peter made during the interview. I will provide you with the link to the webinar and you can make your own list later in this post. Here is my list:
- We’ve reached a limit as to what professionals can do.
- Schools cannot raise our children.
- PowerPoint pretends our conversations are predictable.
- How can you have learning, if all you have is content?
- We need to ask the question, “why did you show up?”
- All cultures value depth of relationship!
- We are afraid of the stranger.
- Working of deficiencies just makes the deficiencies stronger.
- Using community strategies creates real and concrete outcomes.
- You can’t innovate through legislation.
Wow, I just realized I created a top ten list from the webinar. I am not going to go back and number them because there is no real order to this list, but all important points that Peter covered in the webinar. I need to go back and blog about each one (we’ll see if I get that accomplished or not). So, I promised you the opportunity to make your own list. I want to provide you with the link to the YouTube video of the entire webinar, including the chance I had to visit with and ask a question of Peter Block. My next post after this one to my blog will specifically deal with my question and the conversation that followed. But for now, click here to watch the whole webinar (again my thanks to Becky Robinson and Weaving Influence for making this possible):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUPAFSbcEHY&feature=youtu.be
As you can see, this was a very powerful webinar. I would love for you to reply to this post with your top ten (or however many) takeaways you have from the webinar. By replying you will be creating the strong aggregate Peter talked about. Notice I am trying to practice the teachings of Peter by not offering my own thoughts on each of the bulleted points, but asking you to give your thoughts. I really do want to hear from you. Peter Block really is the father of using Community to change the world.
Good Leader Traits
This past Friday in a session I did for our Noble Education Initiative Impact Indy Program we developed a top five list of great leadership traits. To get to that end, we developed a bad leadership trait list and then moved into the good list. Then we voted our way to the top five, great list. I would like to provide you with our top five in this post with some of the commentary about each one discussed during the session.
Here they are:
- Trust – No big surprise here. Trust tops most lists characterizing great leaders. It’s at the root of every good relationship, including that of leader and employee. When your team trusts you, and they perceive that what you’re doing is honestly in their and the organization’s best interest, you are more likely to have an engaged team.
- Consistent – Consistency was a multifaceted item on this list. First, as a leader, you want to communicate a consistent focus on just a few critical issues (at most three to five) for each employee or team. And then you want to relentlessly follow up and focus only on those few issues. Less is more. Second, the great leader will have consistent moods, behavior, and decision-making so that her team knows where she is coming from. Finally, there must consistency in the message and actions delivered. The simple adage of “do what you say” goes a long way as most customers, families, students, or other stakeholders are accustomed to broken promises and poor service. With consistent delivery and consistent service, we can put all our focus on promoting a positive and consistent brand image with those we serve, including our customers.
- Transparent – Employees learn more about one another and can grow to work toward solving problems faster when their leaders are transparent. Transparency also allows relationships to mature faster, as openness can potentially avoid misunderstandings that can fuel unnecessary tension. If we are transparent, we can actually strengthen our role as a leader because those we serve begin to trust (see, there is our #1, trust, showing up again) us as person and thus will respect us more as a leader.
- Open To Constructive Criticism – If you are not being criticized, you are not leading and guiding the organization to grow, innovate and explore endless possibilities. We all have areas we need to improve in. Additionally, we must use criticism as an avenue to learning. Criticism can provide valuable insight for making course corrections. Don’t be offended by criticism, use it to your advantage.
- Passionate – Passion inspires others to join and identify with the organization’s vision. When we are passionate about something, it shows all over us. We can’t help but think about it, work at it, and be excited about it. Most importantly, passion is as contagious as a cold. Ever notice how your own enthusiasm escalates when you are around passionate people?
Pretty awesome list wouldn’t you say? What’s on your top five? Would you change any of these, or re-order the list? I would love to have you add your comments to this post.
Byron's Babbles 
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