Byron's Babbles

Leading As A Joy Giver

Posted in Buzz Kill, Educational Leadership, Global Leadership, Joy, Joyful, Leadership, Leadership Development by Dr. Byron L. Ernest on July 3, 2025
J.R. and I at 2025 National FFA Teacher Ambassador Training

Yesterday I was meeting with one of our great National FFA Mentor Teacher Ambassadors, J. R. Pierce, from Montana. I am excited to be going to his school in August to do a two day leadership program for the student leaders in his school. As we were finalizing the plans, J. R. shared one of his profound thoughts that I have grown to appreciate him for. He said, “I see how teacher joy goes out the window!” I then said that he couldn’t just make that statement and us not discuss it.

I asked him, “How do we keep that from happening?” I loved his answer and it was so true. He said “We need to quit killing the joy in other teachers; especially our younger teachers.” His solution for this was to keep our opinions to ourselves. An example he gave was when a teacher is working on a bulletin board and another teacher rants that it is a waste of time and they’re not taking the extra time to do that. That ranting teacher was killing teacher joy and needed to keep their opinion to themself.

These “joy killers” are what I also call a “buzz kill.” Beware of the buzz kill! That person who is in your organization, community, class, school, or government who takes a perfectly good idea, concept, or change and shucks it off as being worthless or not meeting their own values. The thing about buzz kills is they are usually smart, respected, and rationale people. They appear to be very noble in their actions and may not even know they are killing someone’s joy. Can you think of a time when sharing your opinion killed someone’s joy? I can!

Think about it. If we hear that something we are doing is stupid enough times, we will lose our joy. I have continued to ponder J. R.’s thoughtful solution of keeping our opinions to ourselves. Keeping our opinions to ourselves can help prevent unnecessary conflict and preserve harmony in our relationships. When we choose not to voice every thought, especially if it might be critical or dismissive, we create a more respectful and understanding environment. This consideration allows others to feel valued and free to express themselves without fear of judgment or negativity, which in turn helps maintain their happiness and confidence. Essentially, sometimes silence acts as a gentle gesture that protects others’ joy and fosters kindness and peace.

Everyone has joy killers in their lives, but we all have joy givers too. The challenge for us is to identify the joy killers to avoid, and replenish with the joy givers. Thanks J. R. for inspiring these thoughts. The world needs more great teachers like you! Here is our challenge: be a joy giver, not a joy killer.

We Hate The Buzz Kill

“Everybody wants to change the world…But one thing’s clear…No one ever wants to change themselves…That’s the way things are…All because we hate the buzzkill…Jaded when we need to feel…But we can change it all if you really want it.” ~ Nothing More in the song Do You Really Want It?

Today in our 3D Leadership, session with North and South Carolina participants, we discussed the concept of a buzz kill. This was prompted by a discussion and analysis of the lyrics to the great Nothing More song Do You Really Want It?

Beware of the buzz kill. That person who is in your organization, community, class, school, or government who takes a perfectly good idea, concept, or change and shucks it off as being worthless or not meeting their own values. They do it with their negativity and virtue signaling. The thing about buzz kills is they are usually smart, respected, and rationale people. they appear to be very noble in their actions, but are full of crap at the same time. Their points may make sense, but we do not want to hear them at the time. The goal of the buzz kill is to have you join their misery.

We also need to be aware that we can create the buzz kill for ourselves and those around us. Think about times when you’ve poo poo’d someone else’s, or your own dreams or steps to changing the world. Remember, if you are not experimenting with new ideas, you are probably stuck with old, out of date ones. Notions change all the time, after all. Stick with old ideas, and your thinking will end up obsolete.

We can change it all if we really want it. Ignore the buzz kill!