Expect Mistakes
Over the past three weeks I’ve had a small construction project going on at my house. It has been fun because my contractor is a friend who I coached baseball with and I also taught his daughter in school. We’ve talked about every day that I have been home and we’ve even added a few things to the project from our conversations. Yesterday he finished the project and he came over last night and we just sat and visited.
My post is about something that I learned from Bruce that we can apply to most of our contexts. I had decided some posts that we had left bare needed to be wrapped. So, I took it upon myself to get the materials and do the job. On the first of five that I did I made a couple of errors. Not very noticeable, but still mistakes. By the fifth post I was at near perfect craftsmanship. The next morning I pointed out my work and the couple of mistakes.
What Bruce told me was profound: “You have to expect mistakes.” He told me that if you focus on never making a mistake, you actually will make more mistakes. Now, the kind of mistakes we were talking about were not like the ones where the wrong mix of concrete was used, thus threatening the integrity of a project. To prevent those types of mistakes protocols and redundancy processes need to be put in place. In my case, however, I needed to put a notch in the wrap to allow space for the mounting bracket on the post. I made the notch about a half inch to big.
Bruce told me that instead of just getting the right amount material for the project I did, he would have gotten a little extra, expecting that errors might occur. If they don’t, you just return the material. To be clear, he was not advocating that making mistakes was not to be avoided. What he was saying was that we must face the reality that mistakes do happen. He suggested that we need to plan for them. He also added that while it can be natural to want to avoid blame and embarrassment, this is only counterproductive to moving forward. Playing the blame game at the worksite as each contractor and trade contractor points the finger at someone else only wastes precious time in coming up with a suitable solution. Owning mistakes and finding quick solutions is the key here.
The moral of this story is that we put all safeguards in place to eliminate mistakes, but we also need to expect them. If we live in fear of making mistakes or make those we serve fearful of making mistakes, we are setting ourselves and others up for making more mistakes.
Remember To Care First
I’ve got a good friend that always says, “if your the smartest person in the room, you need different people in the room.” I always reply that I want to be the dumbest person in the room.” I believe we are saying the same thing – we want to be surrounded by creative and innovative people who have expertise in the space we are working in. in Simple Truth #35: “People Don’t Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care” in Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways To Be A Servant Leader and Build Trust, Making Common Sense Common Practice, Ken Blanchard and Randy Conley, Randy reminds us, “Demonstrating care and concern for others is the quickest and easiest way to build trust” (p. 93). And, don’t forget, it must be genuine care and concern.
I was reminded of this during an elementary teacher focus group I was conducting this week as part of a strategic planning process I am facilitating for a school corporation. The teachers were very clear about the fact that their principal, “I’m supported”; “Family first, Kelli [principal] really does practice this”; “We are checked in on, Kelli cares about us”; and, “Open door policy, Kelli is accessible.” It was clear these teachers respect their principal. These we’re all great reminders that caring must come first.
Hope Is Not A Four Letter Word
I got to spend quite a bit of quality time in the tractor cab yesterday and spent it listening to Serius XM Octane. They were doing a Shinedown radio day featuring the band, Shinedown. It was an incredible day with the band members telling great stories about experiences crafting their art & staying current. The stories they told were such great leadership lessons. Several times I stopped and jotted down notes. One Shinedown song, Hope (from their new Planet Zero album), prompted this post.
The line “Hope’s not a four-letter word” really got me to thinking how, in many cases it has become a four letter word. But the song also says, “You can be twisted but still optimistic; Be the black sheep but not a statistic; May not know who you are; But you know what you’ve got; So hang on to the absurd; Hey, have you heard? Hope’s not a four-letter word.” That’s pretty good advice. As a believer that specific futures are not inevitable, therefore we need to work toward the change, goal, newly redefined self, or world we want. Hope is worth thinking about because the plausible and desirable ways the future can unfold are practical. We have become addicted to narratives of despair about how “the other side always wins” and “things just keep getting worse” that we tend to blind ourselves to positive trends or downplay our role in being able to bring about positive change.
Shinedown told us in Hope that we should be “Counting the elephants here in this room.” There are things in the world going in the right direction, and there are things trending in the wrong direction. We need to use those “elephants” and have learning conversations to illuminate the right direction. Hope is not a strategy, but it is an attitude and core value that can empower us. We have an obligation, as Hope told us, to “Put on a happy face; Make a scene and leave a permanent trace; Show me that rebel inside; Where the leader of the revolution resides.” Remember, “hope” is not a four letter word.
What You See Is What You Get
Loved this statement from Randy Conley: “It’s not hard to be authentic; all you have to do is be yourself” (p. 91). He went on to say, “Authentic leaders display humility, admit what they don’t know, walk their talk, own up to their mistakes, and do what they say they will do” (p.91). Can you imagine a world where everyone lived by that credo? Randy Conley told us that many leaders treat relationships like games in Simple Truth #34: “A Relationship With No Trust Is Like A Cell Phone With No Service Or Internet – All You Can Do Is Play Games” in Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways To Be A Servant Leader and Build Trust, Making Common Sense Common Practice, Ken Blanchard and Randy Conley.
In my experience, when a leader is genuine, we know what to expect, and the opportunity to build trust begins. Trust is built through daily and consistent action. Bottom line is, the leader’s integrity becomes predictable. I try to model loving those we serve. An authentic leader is all heart. We must lead with compassion, kindness, and understanding of others. Truly authentic leaders consider what if feels like to walk in others’ shoes. Trust and safety are essential to a sense of belonging, and we all have a need to belong. Without this sense of belonging, we feel that our very survival is threatened. To create this belonging we must display humility, admit what we don’t know, walk our talk, own up to our mistakes, and do what we say we will do.
Be Like Potatoes Not French Fries
This week, a breakout group who was developing a self-care club t-shirt (see featured picture) as part of a project for a professional development I was facilitating came up with an incredible theme: “Be Like Potatoes, Not French Fries.” This was an interesting metaphor and not something I had heard before. The thought was to do everything possible to be a whole person and not processed/fried pieces. The theme was really pretty genius and I couldn’t stop thinking about it and what it meant to be a like a potato. When I studied the shirt I found it was okay to sometimes just relax and be a couch potato. Sometimes it is okay to take part in a happy hour or spend time on the beach (hard for me on a daily basis, but I was facilitating in Florida).
The point was that we don’t have to spend every moment processing and transforming every moment like becoming a French fry. To be the whole person and stay like the potato we need to make sure and schedule time for what another group called “Self Care A La Carte. Check out their list of a la carte self care items on their t-shirt:
These were educators I was working with and one of the important things we discussed was the importance of focusing on self so we could effectively focus on others. As educators we provide support, how well we provide that support depends on how well we take care of ourselves. Here are some tips for having a good day:
- Get one important thing done
- Plan your perfect daily timetable
- Listen to a great music playlist (of course this should include some KISS songs)
- Go for a walk
- Leave your bad mood at home
How will you take care of yourself?
Fearmongering Leaders
“I’ve observed many leaders manage people through fear and intimidation” (p. 89). Randy Conley said this in Simple Truth #33: “Fear Is The Enemy Of Trust” in Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways To Be A Servant Leader and Build Trust, Making Common Sense Common Practice, Ken Blanchard and Randy Conley. Unfortunately, we have all probably experienced it. Conley also rightly pointed out that this fearmongering can take many forms. Many times this undesirable behavior is triggered by the leaders own fear and inadequacies. Leading from fear can create a toxic culture in which people play safe, avoid mistakes and lay low in effect creating an organization that does not grow due to mediocre performance and unrealized potential. I have experienced leaders leading by fear and it caused a profound impact on whether people in the organization felt connected, cared for and empowered, or pushed aside, constrained to make decisions and held back to voice their opinions. I’ve even experienced people getting yelled at for bringing up something they had observed or heard someone asking. The leader doing the yelling failed to recognize the importance of the perception in the field she was be made aware of. All she did was cause the person getting yelled at to say later, “I’m never giving her a heads-up again.” Clearly, the empress did not want to know she had no close! A team had been created that would do things they knew would fail because they no longer wanted to say anything for fear of being berated. Not a good community to be building.
The other thing I have noticed about fear-based leaders is that the best and brightest don’t advance. One, the bad leader does not want an “A” person to possibly be showing them up, so they advance “C” and “D” people. Instead, projects and promotions go to those who have “drank the Cool-Aid” and embrace the toxic culture and agree with whatever the leader says. Our job as leaders is to make those we serve feel secure. It is also important for us to love those we serve by keeping them safe and supporting them.
Are You Invisible?
Clayton M. Christensen said, “There is no single right answer or path forward, but there is one right way to frame the problem.” Ever since having the opportunity to meet Dr. Christensen at Harvard, I’ve been a fan of this quote because I have always advocated for teaching our scholars in ways that there is no single answer. If we want to make school work look like real work it can’t all be single right answers, because our real-life problems don’t have single right answers. I was reminded of this yesterday in a meeting when someone said, “All of these answers could be right.” Therefore, how we frame the problem is crucial.
I’ve come to believe there are very few absolute right or wrong answers when it comes to decision making. There are only the best choices given the circumstances. There are good and bad decisions based on our core values, beliefs, and morals. But, again, there are very few absolute right or wrong answers when it comes to decision making. Sometimes, this keeps people from making decisions – even ones that will affect our lives. This causes us to be invisible and miss out on creating our own story. Thus why we need to be teaching our young scholars how to be decision makers in a world of no single right answers.
How do we do this for our scholars and ourselves? Here is a pretty basic four step approach:
- Frame the problem or choice to make
- Consider all the possible choices/solutions. Consider a pro/con approach
- Do the research
- Make a decision
As adults we worry we’ll make a decision that will be judged by others as “the wrong one”. I believe this fear was developed in us because our curiosity for learning is thwarted because our main goal in school was to find the “right answers” to achieve an A on the exam. By not making decisions, stepping into our strengths, knowledge, or confidence, we, and our students, become invisible.
Put The Us In Trust
As I continue my summer study of Ulysses S. Grant it has been interesting to compare the polarized political and social order of that time with today’s. We have had many periods of polarized social unrest. As I study Grant’s relationships, it becomes evident how important the “us” in trust is. This is the topic of Simple Truth #32: “There’s No Trust Without Us” in Simple Truths of Leadership: 52 Ways To Be A Servant Leader and Build Trust, Making Common Sense Common Practice, Ken Blanchard and Randy Conley. Conley pointed out that trust is a psychological and emotional construct between two people. Conley said, “There’s no trust without us – you and me, two people willing to take a risk and be vulnerable in front of each other with the expectation that the other won’t take advantage” (p. 87). Think about the greatest relationships you have; that comment by Conley pretty much sums up why those relationships are great.
“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
I love the above quote from Abraham Lincoln. We need to take the initiative to get to know others better and try to build relationships that enable putting the us in trust. Lincoln and Grant became great friends in the very short time they were able to be together. One thing my study has revealed is that the Lincoln/Grant friendship was built completely on trust. The two of them worked hard to nurture trust. Who do you need to work harder at nurturing trust with?
Give Them A Chance To Surprise You
Last night while watching Major Crimes I heard a great line from Rusty about Buzz: “The more I get to know him the more I get surprised by him.” This jumped out at me because this happens a lot and should remind us how important it is to get to know those around us. I once heard someone say, “Don’t assume a person you don’t know is just like you expect them to be! Give them a chance to surprise you!” This is so important with students. There is so much there we cannot see. We must realize that most groups, even people in “our own group,” are quite heterogeneous, and can be very different in background and beliefs.
This begs us to take care with our assumptions and always test them out. Let people explain and demonstrate who they are and what they think. I’ve often found that “enemies” are actually very similar to me in surprising ways and actually could be “friends.” At the same time “friends” turn out to not be very much like me at all. We must make an effort to get to know everyone better and give them the opportunity to surprise us.
Leading Like WD-40
Sometimes it really is “rocket science.” Pretty much everyone knows WD-40® is the go-to product for silencing squeaks, displacing moisture, preventing rust, and loosening stuck parts. You probably have a can sitting in your house, garage, or bike toolkit right now. You can find several cans in multiple locations here on our farm. Back in the day we even used more cans than now when we had to regularly pop distributor caps off and spray in WD-40® to displace condensation. In fact, WD-40’s nickname is “toolkit in a can.” What a great product!
The product itself was invented in San Diego back in 1953 to stop corrosion in the umbilical cord of the Atlas space rockets, so the product actually came out of the space era. So, yes, it is rocket science. It’s called WD-40® because there were 39 formulas that didn’t work and the 40th one did, so that’s why it’s called water displacing 40 formula. A few years ago at a leadership development gathering I was doing where participants were to bring pictures of leaders who had influenced them, we had a participant bring a picture of a can of WD-40. I loved it! What a great leadership metaphor.
The participant explained how WD-40® could help you solve almost any issue around the house. Great leaders help us and stand with us on all the everyday issues. Also, the product has stayed consistent over the years with improvements and innovations on how to best deliver, such as the Smart Straw™️ (so you don’t lose the little red straw) and No-Mess WD-40 pen. Or, my personal favorite: WD-40 EZ Reach™️ (check out the featured picture in this post). Remind you of any great leaders you’ve been associated with?
Do you have sticky sticky/rusty/inactive levers or individuals in your organization. Consider leading like WD-40® and help disperse the distractions keeping those you serve from achieving greatness.
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