Belonging Versus Fitting In
On Monday of this week I had the opportunity to work with a group of very astute fourth graders. We were discussing what it was like to be a leader as a fourth grader. One of the students said, “There’s a difference between fitting in and belonging. When you’re belonging, you’re feeling like yourself and when you’re fitting in, you might not really be yourself.” I loved this because it is so true. The main difference between belonging and fitting in lies in authenticity and acceptance.
Belonging is about feeling accepted for who we truly are. It means we’re valued and included because of our authentic self—our personality, values, and unique qualities. When we experience belonging, we feel comfortable being ourselves and can develop genuine relationships. I was excited that the students realized this is the kind of environment we must strive to create. We all have a need to belong and we all have an obligation to lead by creating an ethos of belonging.
Fitting in, on the other hand, often involves changing or adjusting ourselves to meet others’ expectations. It’s about conforming to certain norms or standards to be accepted, which might mean hiding parts of yourself or sacrificing your individuality. I always wonder, who created all these social norms we think we need to conform to.
I am proud of these fourth graders for reminding us that creating environments that foster belonging helps us grow, build trust, and form meaningful connections. Conversely, emphasizing fitting in can lead to pressure to conform, which may prevent others from expressing their true selves.
Leading As A Mentor
Last week I had a person who had sat in on some of my past leadership workshops, not as a participant but a passerby and got caught up in what we were doing, tell me he was now using what he learned from me on a daily basis as a leader. I was both honored and intrigued by this. So, I had to ask what he had learned. He told me he was inspired on my insistence that every leader needed to hold those they serve accountable while also inspiring both personal and professional growth. He said, “You taught me that every leader should serve as a mentor and role model to those they serve.” I do believe and teach that every leader should strive to be the best mentor possible.
Leaders should be mentors because they have the experience, knowledge, and perspective to guide others through their professional and personal growth. By serving as mentors, leaders can help develop the skills and confidence of their team members, fostering an environment of continuous learning. Organizations thrive when leaders develop other leaders, not just followers.
Mentorship also builds trust and strong relationships, which can improve collaboration and morale. Ultimately, when leaders invest in their team’s development, it creates a more engaged, capable, and motivated workforce that benefits the entire organization. Team members who feel guided, not just managed, are more loyal and engaged. Mentorship makes leadership complete and more human centered.
Mentorship is the key for leaders to develop other leaders!
Byron's Babbles 
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