Understanding Those Around Us
Yesterday I wrote Seeing Is Not Believing after being inspired by George MacDonald’s The Princess and the Goblin. Now I’m continuing the thought process using more of the conversation between Princess Irene and her grandmother. The conversation continued, “We are all very anxious to be understood, and it is very hard not to be. But there is one thing much more necessary.’ ‘What is that, grandmother?’ ‘To understand other people.’ ‘Yes, grandmother. I must be fair – for if I’m not fair to other people, I’m not worth being understood myself” (p. 73). The dialogue between Princess Irene and her grandmother highlights a key lesson: while it is natural to desire understanding from others, it is even more crucial to strive to understand those around us.
MacDonald’s fairy tales had a huge impact on C. S. Lewis from an early age. That impact was both of a personal growth nature and an impact on Lewis’s writing development. I’m so fortunate through my studies of Lewis to have also been exposed to MacDonald. The exchange between Princess Irene and her grandmother reminded me that true worth comes not from seeking validation but from being fair and considerate towards others. If we will prioritize understanding, we will foster deeper connections and compassion, creating a more harmonious society.
The passage in the book I referenced here caused me to reflect on my own interactions and to continually cultivate a mindset that values empathy as a fundamental aspect of my relationships with others. In essence, the story continues to teach us today that understanding others enriches our own lives as well as those we seek to understand and contributes to mutual respect and kindness.
As I conclude this post I can’t help but pause and reflect that it’s been 153 years since MacDonald published The Princess and the Goblin. I am amazed by the perennial influence both MacDonald and Lewis have on the lives of others and me personally. They are both continuing to have an influence on me some 120 and 62 years respectively since their deaths. Amazing! And I believe that is a pretty amazing legacy to try and emulate.
Seeing Is Not Believing
Ever heard the phrase “Can’t read a book by its cover?” Ever really thought about what that means? In The Princess and the Goblin, by George MacDonald, the grandmother teaches Princess Irene an important lesson about seeing beyond the surface. We must be aware that merely observing something doesn’t equate to fully comprehending or trusting in its significance.
‘What does it all mean, grandmother?’ she [Princess Irene] sobbed, and burst into fresh tears.
‘It means, my love, that I did not mean to show myself. Curdie is not yet able to believe some things. Seeing is not believing – it is only seeing. You remember I told you that if Lootie were to see me, she would rub her eyes, forget the half she saw, and call the other half nonsense.’ ~ The Princess and the Goblin
In The Princess and the Goblin, MacDonald uses the phrase “Seeing is not believing – it is only seeing” to convey a deeper understanding of perception and belief. The grandmother’s wisdom encourages us to look beyond the surface and recognize that true understanding often requires faith and intuition, rather than just visual evidence. Through the grandmother I believe MacDonald was implying that belief and understanding come from a place of inner conviction, rather than just physical observation.
We need to remember to explore beyond what we can see. MacDonald’s fairy tale helps us consider that there are truths and realities that may not be immediately visible or tangible but can be understood through deeper engagement, reflection, and trust.
The Necessity Of Being Understood
You guessed it. Another post inspired by George MacDonald’s The Princess and the Goblin. Yesterday, I wrote Following The Thread Forward. Today, I am writing after reading the lines, “But in the meantime you must be content, I say, to be misunderstood for a while. We are all very anxious to be understood, and it is very hard not to be. But there is one thing much more necessary.’ ‘What is that, grandmother?’ ‘To understand other people.’ ‘Yes, grandmother. I must be fair – for if I’m not fair to other people, I’m not worth being understood myself” (p. 73). Princess Irene and her grandmother recognize that while it’s natural to desire understanding from others, it is even more vital to strive to understand those around us.
MacDonald was highlighting the importance of empathy and understanding in human relationships. We are reminded to practice compassion and actively listen to others, fostering deeper connections and harmony in their interactions. True communication goes beyond mere words; it involves genuinely seeing and appreciating the perspectives and feelings of others.
Following The Thread Forward
Through my studies of C. S. Lewis I have become a huge fan, and thus student of George MacDonald. Lewis considered MacDonald one his earliest influences after reading Phantastes at the age of 16. I am reading MacDonald’s great faerie tale The Princess and the Goblin right now. In this great literary work MacDonald told the enchanting story of Princess Irene and her brave encounters with the goblins who threaten her kingdom. Through her adventures, Irene discovers inner strength, the importance of faith, and the value of listening to wise guidance. The message MacDonald conveys highlights the triumph of good over evil, the significance of trust in oneself and others, and the idea that courage often comes from unexpected sources.
There was a line in the book as I was reading this morning where Princess Irene was on an adventure following a thread from her grandmother. It was said that, “She rose at once, and found the thread. But the instant she tried to feel it backwards, it vanished from her touch. Forwards, it led her hand up to the heap of stones – backwards it seemed nowhere” (p. 64). This really made me think about our moving forward in life. We really don’t get to go backward.
Then I thought about the genius of MacDonald having the thread represent guidance, intuition, and the idea of trust in one’s instincts or inner direction. When the thread leads Princess Irene forward but disappears when she tries to trace it backwards, it symbolizes the importance of looking ahead and having faith in the path we are on, rather than dwelling on the past or second-guessing.
George MacDonald seemed to be conveying a lesson about the necessity of moving forward in life with confidence, even when faced with uncertainty. He encouraged us to trust our instincts and follow the guiding forces in our lives, rather than getting lost in doubts or regrets about what has already happened. The metaphor of the thread suggested that progress often requires faith and courage, and that the right path may not always be clear if we focus too much on what is behind us.
Planting Ourselves In A Tall Forest
I have been described as being eclectic and I would have to say that I am guilty as charged. I do have very diverse interests and influences that span various fields, ideas, and cultural perspectives. This eclectic approach allows me to draw from multiple sources, styles, or traditions rather than adhering to a single framework or ideology. I describe this as having a blend of ideas. This eclecticism grants the incorporation of different philosophies, methodologies, and subject matters to create a more comprehensive learning experience for both myself and my clients.
Iconic poet T. S. Eliot created rich tapestries of meaning and emotion, making his work resonate on multiple levels. Thomas R. Rees described Eliot as a “master of eclectic synthesis.” This highlights Eliot’s unique ability to draw from a wide variety of influences and styles, melding them into a cohesive and innovative body of work. Eliot’s poetry often incorporates diverse cultural, literary, and philosophical elements, reflecting his deep engagement with different traditions and his skill in reinterpreting them.
Eliot believed that to find our own “originality” we need to surround ourselves with strong, supportive individuals who can help us grow and thrive. If we use the metaphor of the distillation process, we are taking everything we are exposed to, think of that as the corn, rye, barley, and yeast, and creating the original us, or metaphorical bourbon. In The Sacred Wood Eliot said, “One of the surest of tests [of greatness] is the way in which a poet borrows. Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least something different.” We all need to have deep engagement in incorporating the diverse cultural, literary, and philosophical elements we are exposed to and reinterpreting them.
Karen Burke Lefevre put it this way in Invention As a Social Act:
“There will always be great need for individual initiative, but no matter how inventive an individual wants to be, he will be influenced for better or for worse by the intellectual company he keeps. On top of Mt. Mansfield in Vermont, there are thirty-year-old trees that are only three feet tall. If a tree begins to grow taller, extending beyond the protection of the others, it dies. The moral for inventors [and artists]: Plant yourself in a tall forest if you hope to have ideas of stature.”
Acceptance Versus Condemnation
Effective leaders must recognize and accept the current state of their organization, including challenges and shortcomings. This acceptance is crucial for making informed decisions and implementing necessary changes. When teaching this in my leadership development programs I always quote Carl Jung who said, “We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” Jung was such a deep thinker and this quote always makes participants think and it stirs great conversation. Jung’s message was that acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; rather, it means recognizing reality without judgment. By accepting what is, we free ourselves from the burden of resistance and can begin to work toward meaningful change.
“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” Carl Jung
True change cannot occur until we fully acknowledge and accept our current situation. When we resist or condemn our data, reality, or experiences—whether they are emotions, thoughts, or real circumstances—we often create a cycle of oppression and denial, making it harder to move forward. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; rather, it means recognizing reality without judgment.
You Do Yourself
Yesterday I wrote about not holding ourselves to others’ timelines in Use Your Own Timeline. In the same conversation that inspired that post the phrase “you do yourself” was also used. This suggested that we should embrace who we truly are and make choices that align with our own personal core values and aspirations. That thought complements the idea of following our own unique timeline by encouraging us to prioritize our individuality over societal pressures or comparisons with others.
When we “do yourself,” we focus on what genuinely resonates with us, which can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. It’s about recognizing that our journey is ours alone and that it’s okay to carve out our own way, even if it looks different from others.
Byron's Babbles 
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