Embracing Kindness: Lessons from C.S. Lewis on Navigating Disagreements

On Wednesday of this week I had the honor of collaborating with the National Association of State Boards of Education (NASBE) to facilitate a team building program for the Nebraska State Board of Education. This was a very engaged group of leaders and we had some incredible discussions. One of our norms for the day was to always assume positive intentions. We discussed how as individuals on a board we may have different ideologies and ideas, but that all ultimately wanted to improve education for all students. Education is so complex and we sometimes have different opinions on how to best get the work done.

These discussions reminded me of the work of C. S. Lewis in The Weight of Glory when he spoke of separating the person from the person’s opinion. In that essay, Lewis emphasized the importance of understanding and valuing individuals beyond their viewpoints or beliefs. He suggested that it is crucial to recognize the inherent dignity of each person, regardless of whether we agree with their opinions or not. This perspective encourages compassion and empathy in discussions and interactions.
I pondered what advice Lewis might give to the group I was working with related to making the separation of the person from the person’s opinions. Lewis understood the complexities of human nature and the challenges people face in separating individuals from their beliefs. He might have suggested that it is important to recognize the humanity in each person, even when their views differ significantly from our own. He could have emphasized the idea that everyone is on a personal journey shaped by their experiences, and that seeking to understand the reasons behind someone’s beliefs can foster empathy.
Lewis often highlighted the importance of love and compassion in his work, so he might have encouraged that individual to approach disagreements with a spirit of kindness, reminding them that no one is entirely defined by their opinions. Instead, he would likely advocate for engaging in thoughtful dialogue and striving to see the good in others, which could help bridge divides and promote understanding.
Leading With A Limited Palette of Colors

On Monday evening we had the chance to eat at a highly recommended place on Tybee Island, Fannie’s On The Beach. Awesome food, incredible people, and first rate service. The one thing they had that put the customer experience over the top was butcher paper on the table and crayons. Those that have been a part of my gatherings know I love using crayons and creating images. Of course, Monday night was no exception, I began coloring immediately. My subject was a tractor and baler baling hay. Because we use New Holland equipment on our farm I began designing a blue tractor. Then I realized I only had four colors in my cup – red, blue, yellow, and green.
After this realization I got up and walked to a couple of other tables to see if I could find a black crayon for the tires. I quickly realized that there were only the same four colors on every table – red, blue, yellow, and green. What to do? Improvise and create with the colors I had. Are you beginning to see the leadership lessons coming through? Bottom line: my art was a hit with everyone at Fannie’s. Here is my creation:

We can learn several valuable lessons from working with a limited palette of red, blue, yellow, and green crayons to create a picture:
- Resourcefulness: With only a few colors, we must think creatively and find ways to effectively use what we have. This mirrors the need to make the most out of limited resources in real-world scenarios.
- Collaboration: Just like blending colors can create new shades, leaders can discover the importance of collaboration. Working with others’ strengths can bring out more vibrant results than going it alone.
- Simplicity: Sometimes, limitations can drive simplicity in decision-making. Focusing on a few key elements allows leaders to prioritize our goals and strategies without becoming overwhelmed by options. I’ve got to tell you I believe my drawing was better because of the simplicity of only having four colors. This really made me reflect on the importance of both conciseness and limiting the number of options.
- Innovation: Constraints often inspire innovation. Leaders can learn to think outside the box and experiment with different combinations and techniques to achieve a desired outcome.
- Perspective: Using only a few colors can help us appreciate the beauty in simplicity and uniqueness. It teaches us to value diverse perspectives and approaches within our teams.
- Patience and Practice: Creating a beautiful picture with limited crayons may require trial and error, teaching leaders that mastery takes time and effort.
By embracing these lessons, we can enhance our own skills and foster creativity within our teams, even when faced with limitations.
Light and Dark: Navigating the Complexities of Our Shadows

I blogged about shadows before in Our True Essence. That post was inspired by George MacDonald, who in Phatastes, used the metaphor of Anodos’ shadow to represent his inner and negative emotions. In that blog entry I said, “He (Anodos) was glad to lose his shadow because it symbolized letting go of his past traumas and struggles, allowing him to move forward with a sense of lightness and freedom. Losing his shadow enabled Anodos to embrace personal growth and transformation. In Phantastes we learned the importance of embracing all aspects of ourselves, even the parts we may want to hide or ignore. It serves as a reminder to always stay connected to our inner selves and not let external influences cloud our true essence.” Yesterday, as I was taking a walk on the beach, I noticed my shadow – because of the angle of the sun, it was really tall (see featured photo).
While standing there on the beach studying my shadow, I pondered the idea of the metaphor of a shadow indeed having positive connotations. While George MacDonald may have depicted the shadow as a representation of negative aspects or unresolved issues, it could also symbolize protection, depth, and the complexities of our existence. Just as a shadow adds dimension to a landscape, our shadows can represent the depth of our experiences. They remind us that our past, both light and dark, contributes to who we are today.
Shadows are a natural byproduct of light. In this sense, they can symbolize growth and the interplay of challenges and successes in our lives. The darkness can motivate us to seek the light and strive for improvement. Acknowledging our shadows—our flaws, fears, and vulnerabilities—can foster empathy towards others. Shadows remind us that light and dark coexist. Embracing all parts of ourselves leads to a more balanced, authentic life. It encourages acceptance of our imperfections and the understanding that they contribute to our humanity.
The shadow we cast can also refer to the impact we have on others—our influence, values, and teachings. A positive legacy can inspire and guide future generations. By reframing our shadow in a positive light, we can appreciate it as a complex aspect of the human experience that reflects our journeys, relationships, and contributions.
The Essentials Over Superfluities

Please allow me to have a third post in a row inspired by Richard Baxter and The Reformed Pastor (1656). Baxter’s spending a great deal of time on necessities versus superfluities has caused me to pause and do a great deal of thinking. Baxter emphasized the importance of discerning between necessities and superfluities in various areas of life, particularly highlighting how this understanding can guide us as individuals and leaders in our pursuits and service of others. We should prioritize the activities that align with our values and goals over those that simply fill time but lack meaningful value.

Baxter also stressed committing to lifelong learning and self-improvement as essentials, instead of chasing after status or accolades that may not contribute to true personal development. Gregory Nazianzen said, “Necessaries are common and obvious; it is superfluities that we waste our time for, and labour for, and complain that we attain them not” (p. 47). Baxter gave us this quote to emphasize the idea that basic needs and necessities in life are typically clear and universally recognized, while it is often the pursuit of excess and non-essential things that consumes our time and energy.
Nazianzen suggested that people tend to focus too much on superfluous desires, leading to frustration and dissatisfaction when they don’t achieve them. The point he makes encourages individuals to prioritize what truly matters in life—the essentials—rather than getting caught up in the endless chase for more or superficial gains. It’s a reflection on the importance of wisdom and contentment in one’s pursuits.
These superfluities can be related to many areas of our lives and leadership; even our reading. Baxter even gave us an example in choosing the books we learn from when he said, “If you are to choose what authors to read yourselves, will you not rather take those that tell you what you know not, and that speak the most necessary truths in the clearest manner, though it be in barbarous or unhandsome language, than those that will most learnedly and elegantly tell you that which is false or vain, and ‘by a great effort say nothing’” (p. 58). We must commit to lifelong learning and self-improvement as essentials, instead of chasing after status or accolades that may not contribute to true personal development.
Necessity Versus Opinion

Yesterday, I blogged Attracted To Novelties, having been inspired by Baxter’s The Reformed Pastor (1656). Today I am writing having been inspired further by his understanding of necessity versus opinion. While Baxter was focused on church leadership, he was really showing his overall leadership expertise that we all can glean from. Richard Baxter emphasized the idea that necessity is confined, while opinions can be broad and varied. Leaders should prioritize essential values and principles in our decision-making processes rather than getting sidetracked by popular opinion or trends. This means discerning what truly matters to their organizations and stakeholders.
“Necessity is shut up within narrow limits; not so with opinion” ~ Ficinus

Baxter argued, “The great volumes and tedious controversies that so much trouble us and waste our time, are usually made up more of opinions than of necessary verities…” Think about how many times we get caught up in a bunch of talk about things that don’t really matter or opinions not based on any facts. Both Baxter and Seneca advocate for a thoughtful approach to life. We can foster cultures of discernment within our teams, encouraging critical thinking and open discussions about ideas and strategies. This can lead to better decision-making and a more engaged team.
Attracted To Novelties

One of the people who had an influence on C.S. Lewis was Richard Baxter. I am now reading Baxter’s The Reformed Pastor (1656). It is a fascinating work and I can see why Lewis read his work. Baxter quotes Seneca several times in the book. Seneca’s statement, “We are attracted to novelties rather than to great things,” emphasizes the human tendency to seek out new and shiny experiences, often at the expense of appreciating deeper, more meaningful aspects of life. He was highlighting how people can be easily distracted by superficial or fleeting interests instead of focusing on enduring values or profound truths.

In essence, Seneca suggests that while novelty can be enticing, it’s essential to recognize and prioritize what truly matters—wisdom, virtue, and personal growth—over transient pleasures or trends. This perspective encourages us to cultivate mindfulness and discernment in our pursuits, ensuring that we are not merely chasing after what’s new but also engaging with what has lasting significance. This discernment between chasing the new and staying true to what matters is a tricky balance. It is good to be reminded of the importance of this balance. If we are honest, we are enticed by novelty.
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