Belonging To Yourself
Isn’t it funny how something can happen that relates directly to something we are reading at the same time? This happened to me this week. A person in a training/development I was facilitating this week shared that she was reconnecting with herself and establishing a sense of self-ownership. Seeking our true identity is a process of self-discovery and self-awareness. It involves delving deep into ourself to understand our core values, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses. By understanding who we truly are, we can make informed decisions aligned with our authentic selves, leading to a greater sense of personal autonomy and control.
Then, this morning, as I was listening to the Audible Original Wild Swan: A Story of Florence Nightingale by Patti Callahan Henry, this same idea of self-discovery came up again. In the story, Florence Nightingale said, “I belonged to myself.” This really jumped out at me. To me, saying “I belonged to myself” means that one recognizes and asserts their autonomy and ownership over themselves. It suggests a strong sense of self-identity and the belief that one has the right to make decisions and choices for themselves, without external control or influence. It signifies a state of independence and self-possession, where one feels empowered and in control of their own life and destiny.
In the story, Nightingale believes her purpose goes beyond the Victorian societal expectations a daughter of an affluent family had at the time. In the story Nightingale said, “I’m hoping to come into possession of myself.” This, to me, suggested that she felt disconnected or lost in some way and was seeking a sense of self-ownership and control. We all need to find our true identity, establish our own core values and beliefs, or regain control over our life and actions. Essentially, it indicates a desire to discover and assert our individuality and personal autonomy. Sometimes we need to reinvent ourselves.
By seeking her true identity in the story, Nightingale allowed herself to establish healthy boundaries and assert herself in relationships and interactions. She truly came into possession of herself. When we are aware of our values, needs, and boundaries, we can communicate them effectively, set limits, and make decisions that prioritize our well-being. This empowerment contributes to a sense of control over our own lives, as we are no longer passive recipients of external circumstances but active participants who shape our own destiny. We too, like Nightingale, can have an extraordinary life of significance.
Don’t Miss A Voice
As leaders, it is important for us to ask “Who’s voice is missing?” because diverse perspectives are crucial for making informed decisions and creating inclusive environments. This question helps to eliminate “group think” and takes aim at the echo chamber. We desperately need diversity of thought, which is more important than ever, given the information silos many people live in today. Seeking the opinions and experiences of individuals who may be underrepresented or marginalized is also crucial. By doing this we can avoid overlooking important insights and ensure that everyone’s needs and concerns are taken into account.
Furthermore, including a variety of voices in decision-making processes can lead to more innovative and effective solutions. Different perspectives bring different knowledge, skills, and experiences to the table, which can lead to more creative problem-solving and better outcomes.
Additionally, asking “Who’s voice is missing?” demonstrates a commitment to equity and fairness. It shows that we value and respect the input of all individuals, regardless of their background or position. It also fosters a sense of belonging and inclusion, as people feel heard and valued when their voices are considered.
I always tell those in my leadership development programs to ask, “Who’s voice is missing?” By doing this and making sure every stakeholder is present in the development of new initiatives and change, leaders can promote diversity, inclusion, innovation, and fairness within their organizations and communities. This also eliminates the need to worry about getting buy-in on the back end. As I always say, if we say on the back end that we have to get buy-in, we have already failed. Include everyone on the front end. Are you missing any voices?
Unofficial Teachers
Alister E. McGrath spoke of one of C.S. Lewis’ friend and mentors as having been one of the best unofficial teachers Lewis ever had in, C.S. Lewis: A Life: Eccentric Genius, Reluctant Profit. I love the title given to this friend and mentor of “unofficial teacher.” We have all had them. We need the wisest and best of unofficial teachers because they offer unique perspectives and knowledge that can greatly benefit individuals and society as a whole. Unofficial teachers often possess specialized expertise in specific fields or areas of interest, and they may have a deep understanding of topics that may not be covered in traditional educational settings.
These unofficial teachers can provide alternative viewpoints, challenge conventional wisdom, and offer innovative solutions to problems. They may have practical experience or real-world insights that can supplement formal education and provide valuable lessons.
Additionally, unofficial teachers can play a vital role in mentorship and personal growth. They may offer guidance, support, and inspiration to help individuals navigate their careers, develop important skills, and overcome challenges. The insights of an unofficial teacher can foster intellectual curiosity, critical thinking, and creativity in learners.
Therefore, seeking guidance from the wisest and best unofficial teachers can expand our knowledge, broaden our perspectives, and help us become well-rounded individuals capable of making meaningful contributions to society.
Leading Distant From Center
I am continuing my study of C.S. Lewis by reading the great biography, C.S. Lewis: A Life: Eccentric Genius, Reluctant Profit by Alister E. McGrath. Already, I am taking lots of notes and finding tidbits for further study and reflection. McGrath’s research and approach is amazing. One description that McGrath gave of Lewis was him being “distant from the center, working at the margins.” As a person that has sometimes been described as operating distant from center this really resonated with me. It is amazing to be learning Lewis’ challenges with this and how he used this to his advantage to be significant, even in the 60 years since his death. By the way; Lewis died the year I was born and on the same day John F. Kennedy was assassinated – 1963.
When someone is said to be “distant from the center, working at the margins,” it means that they are not part of the mainstream or core group. They may be on the outskirts or periphery, working on less prominent or influential tasks or projects. This phrase often implies that the person is not directly involved in decision-making or holding a position of high authority or influence within an organization or community.
A person who is “distant from the center, working at the margins” are significant to society in several ways. First, they may have unique perspectives and ideas that can contribute to problem-solving and innovation. Their distance from the center may provide them with a different viewpoint or allow them to see opportunities that others may overlook. I certainly believe this was the case with C.S. Lewis.
Additionally, these distant from the center individuals are able to focus on specific tasks or projects that are crucial but less visible to those in decision-making roles. As leaders, we need to make sure we are empowering all those we serve to excel in their area of expertise, so they can make a meaningful impact and support the overall goals of the organization or community.
Furthermore, individuals working at the margins often have a deep understanding of the challenges and needs of those who are more directly affected by certain issues. Their proximity to these marginalized communities or areas can enable them to advocate for change and champion initiatives that benefit the underrepresented. I definitely believe this was the case with Lewis and why he was such a sought-after speaker. It is also interesting to me how many wrote to him – and he responded.
Ultimately, being distant from the center does not diminish the significance of a person’s contributions. It merely highlights their unique role and the potential they have to create positive change, even if it is not in a position of high authority or influence. Thank goodness there are those of us who are “distant from the center, working at the margins.”
Next, I want to explore some strategies that individuals at the center can employ to ensure they are not overlooking the valuable perspectives and ideas of those working at the margins. Also, I want to reflect on how individuals who are distant from the center effectively communicate their ideas and contributions to those at the center. Any thoughts?
Human Beings
I sat down this evening after a full day of working in the barn and flipped on the television to Tour of Duty. It was Season 3 Episode 40 (1989). MACV-SOG Colonel Brewster (Carl Weathers) yelled at a general telling him, “We must remember these solders are human beings.” This was a powerful reminder that everyone in our organizations are human beings. As leaders, it is important to remember that those we serve are human beings because it helps us maintain empathy, understanding, and respect towards them. Recognizing their humanity reminds us that they have their own thoughts, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and individual experiences that shape their perspectives and actions.
By acknowledging their humanity, we can foster a sense of connection, trust, and inclusivity within our relationships and teams. It allows us to approach leadership with compassion, patience, and fairness, understanding that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges.
Moreover, understanding the human aspect of those we lead enables us to create a supportive and nurturing environment that promotes personal growth, well-being, and overall success. By considering their needs, aspirations, and limitations, we can tailor our leadership approach to help them thrive and reach their full potential.
Ultimately, remembering that those we serve are human beings helps us build strong and meaningful connections, enhances teamwork, and promotes a positive and inclusive work culture.
I Want It All
I heard someone this week make the comment, “I want it all.” Have you ever made that comment? I have. This is kind of like “having your cake and eating it too.” The context that this comment was made was by a person asking for a list of department needs. As I listened to the discussion, I thought to myself, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting it all as long as you can reconcile what all is.” In the case here, the questions would be, is this list exhaustive; are all items going to have an impact on performance; or even, why do you want it all? Sometimes it’s important to consider the bigger picture and think about how what we are wanting/needing may affect the whole organization. The important thing is to be aware of the potential impact and be prepared to handle it responsibly. In other words, we need to reconcile what all is.
This wanting it all goes far beyond the example I gave. What if Jeff Bezos had been happy with just selling books out of his garage? For one thing, I would have been able to order supplies for my next workshop and had them the next day. He wants it all – and he continues to define what all is. What if Steve Jobs would have been okay with everyone having a bag phone? He really did want us to have it all in the palm of our hand! By the way, if you don’t know what a bag phone is – Google it. The great leaders never settle.
Wanting it all involves moving to higher heights, seeking out more people to help, more innovation to develop, or more possibilities to discover. We do, however, need to reconcile what all is and consider what having it all will entail. There will be possible/probable trade-offs, sacrifices, and costs associated with having it all. Which, maybe begs the question of whether we really can ever really have it all. I’ll leave that question to ponder another day. In the meantime, I am glad there are leaders who want it all.
The Revitalized and Rejuvenated Leader
Yesterday I had a reminder to embrace a greater appreciation for the natural world and the importance of nurturing and caring for living things. I came home yesterday from spending a couple of days moving my son from college to his new home in Owensboro, Kentucky. When I got home, we were still in our spring drought of now 30 days with no rain (we are finally getting rain today), and two of our plants that hang on the light post were all shriveled up and looked dead. I quickly got the water hose and watered them. This morning they had made a miraculous recovery. One of them even had a couple of new blooms. I was amazed. Seeing the plants revived and thriving again was incredibly satisfying. Bringing a container plant back like this is never a sure thing, but if there is life in the roots, there is a chance to save the plant.
Sometimes the people we serve get like my plants and need rejuvenated. Helping to reinvigorate their life and bring them a sense of purpose and fulfillment is very important. One thing we can do is remind team members of the value they bring to the organization. If team members are in need of rejuvenation, as a leader we can revitalization and rejuvenate them. I’ll bet you have individual you serve that needs nurturing and care.
Reigniting Our Passion
Last evening while facilitating a kickoff of our National FFA Teacher Ambassador trainings, we had teachers discussing needing to regain the “spark” and a desire for networking. I’m excited about this because building relationships are key to keeping our “spark.” By meeting new people and building genuine relationships, you can find support, inspiration, and new ideas that can reignite our passion for our work. Additionally, networking/relationship building can give us access to valuable resources and connections that can help us be successful and regain our spark.
Another great thing about developing new friends is that sometimes they can become mentors to us. Having friends who are also mentors can be incredibly valuable. They know us personally and can provide honest feedback, guidance, and support that is tailored to our individual needs and goals. Plus, they are invested in our success and will often go above and beyond to help us achieve our objectives.
Nautical Bluffers
Samuel Eliot Morison wrote about “nautical bluffers” in Admiral of the Ocean Sea: A Life of Christopher Columbus. He was speaking of sailors who showed a false air of confidence, particularly in high risk situations. These individuals would fake their knowledge of sailing or cover up their fear. These nautical bluffers, who still exist today, can teach leaders the importance of honesty and authenticity. Bluffing, in reality, has the opposite affect of being vulnerable. We need to be honest about our own fears and limitations and seek help when needed. Being authentic and vulnerable will more likely to earn us the trust and respect of those we serve.
Additionally, leaders can learn from the mistakes of nautical bluffers by recognizing the importance of continuous learning and skill development in order to maintain their credibility and expertise. This modeling of lifelong learning and personal growth can also be empowering to all those around you. Do you remember a time when a leader’s willingness to admit their lack of knowledge led to a positive outcome?
Fortune Favors The Brave
A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to go aboard and explore the museum ship, Pinta. It is an replica of the ship on which Columbus sailed across the Atlantic on his three voyages of discovery to the new world beginning in 1492. In fact, Rodrigo de Triana was the first to see land aboard the caravel, Pinta. My visit to this floating museum inspired me to do a more in-depth study of Christopher Columbus. I asked the crew members of the Pinta if they had any book recommendations. They did and recommended Columbus’ own journals and Admiral of the Ocean Sea: A Life of Christopher Columbus by Samuel Eliot Morison. I am reading the latter now and it is incredible. In my reading this morning, Morison wrote, “Fortune always favors the brave,” meaning that those who are willing to take risks and be courageous in their actions are more likely to be successful and receive good fortune.
Furthermore, fortune favoring the brave suggests that being bold and decisive can lead to positive outcomes and opportunities. Fortune, here, encompasses so much more than just a financial trope. Sure, this phrase “Fortune always favors the brave” can refer monetary gain, which did happen for those involved in Columbus’ voyages of discovery, but it can also apply to personal growth, relationships, and other aspects of life where taking risks and being courageous is important for achieving success and fulfillment. Ultimately, it emphasizes the importance of being proactive, confident, and willing to take on challenges in order to be significant in our lives of leadership.
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